First Post Of The Year!

      Happy New Year! When I used to teach traffic school, I would say that to every class until March. I often made a little joke about not knowing when to stop saying it, after all, I had not seen them yet this year. I’d usually get a little chuckle. But, in general, it is something that I like to acknowledge for a little while. Living here in California, sometimes it’s only the holidays that let us know times are changing. It gets a little colder than usual at times, it gets a little warmer than usual at times, but there are no obvious changes like there are in other parts of the world. Which is fine. It seems like most people here are from places that have obvious change, and they, like we, are here for the usual. Although it did rain yesterday. “The first storm of the year,” they called it. That’s another fun part of the clock turning over, everything is “for the first time this year.” And here I sit writing to you for the first time this year! I bought a house once back in ’95. I had a pretty good size New Year’s party as we entered ’97. I had a video camera, we took a lot of videos. I was drunk. Every little thing that happened, I would say: “For the first time in 1997.” I was getting some chuckles, but watching the video some time later, it was actually kind of annoying. Imagine that, something that a drunk finds funny is actually annoying!  I just realized that I don’t talk to any of those people anymore. It’s kind of sad, but not really. I was in the military, and people move on. Plus, my whole life has been one long journey of not talking to people anymore, so I don’t really have the habit of staying in touch. I’m just glad I thought of them, and realized how much of an affinity I have for being aware that we are in, what I like to call: “A whole new now.”

     I’m tempted to go into my “whole new now” idea, but alas, now does not feel like the right time, and I should leave that for another now. I could take up a whole session on that topic, but I’m going to try to be a bit more organized this year. It’s not a “resolution!” It’s just that in an area where I wish to improve, writing, things need to be changed every once in a while. I want to be getting better, not stagnating. And the thought I had through most of last year’s writings was: “I should be more organized.” There should be more story telling here. Obviously there will be times when words just flow out, and I’ll appreciate them just the same, but in general, I feel like I should be telling you something, not just letting you read my random thoughts. Although we do find some juicy nugs in my random thoughts, that doesn't mean I’m getting better. I have to remind myself that I am not doing this just to do it, I’m trying to get better at it. It being storytelling, it being expressing myself, it being typing at the speed of my mind. The last one is the hardest. I used to think I had to write it all out freehand, because that was the closest way to keep up with my mind, but now I feel like I’m almost able to keep up better while typing. It was suggested to me a long time ago that I should probably work this way, since it’ll help from having to do everything twice. But, sometimes it takes a long time for advice to sink in. At the time it was suggested to me, I wasn’t really in a situation where it was feasible to do so, and now that I am, they were right, I have almost trained myself to be able to type at the speed of my mind. Thoughts travel fast. Sometimes I feel it’s like trying to jump on a train, holding on for dear life, hoping I don’t lose it.

     Well, that was unintended! Oh well, as usual, I’m sticking with what comes out. In an attempt to be more organized, I thought I was going to start using a format, where one paragraph would be present, one would be past, and one would be future. This has not happened. Oh well, it’s the first one of the year, I’ve got 51 more chances to be more interesting. Past: My parent’s house was pretty fun this weekend. We ate a lot of good food. I love the opportunity to be able to cook for them. They are always very appreciative. They don’t socialize much, so when we get to go over, we make it a party. They seem to really like the food I make. All of them comment on it. They seem to notice that I’m getting better every visit. I do think about it a lot, and I do practice a lot. A lot! So it makes sense that I’d get better. But I’m still never sure if they’re just being appreciative, or if they really like it. It sounded silly as soon as I typed it, but the thought is there: are they just being nice? It doesn’t seem like it. I’ve known these people my whole life, they aren’t that good at acting. Plus, I just had leftovers last night, it is delicious! They even want to make plans to do it more often. It must be true. Future: The Calvins have a gig tomorrow night. First gig of the year! It’s with a couple of touring bands, which is cool, but at the same time, you never know how many people will show. It’s hard enough to get locals to show up for a hometown band, let alone a band you’ve never heard of from a place you don’t know. Who knows? They may have a big following. I’m just excited to play in front of new people, and hopefully get some new fans. It’s also kind of mysterious ‘cause we don’t know who offered us this gig. Things could be happening!