Are We Still Having Fun?

     Happy November! It’s funny to me how sometimes the year seems to be going really fast, and then sometimes it seems to be dragging. It’s fast now. Already almost done. It could possibly be related to the amount of activities participated in. Sometimes there are a lot more activities going on than others. It seems as though we are coming into the busy season again. We are at least close. Last week I had the comedy show that I wrote you about. That was on Thursday. The following day my punk rock band had a show. It was a lot of fun. Shows usually are. It was at the Tower Bar. It’s kind of an iconic San Diego bar. Small, but intimate. Relatively cheap drinks. Very much a dive bar. Dive bar by design. There was actually a sign above the urinal advertising a drink special, it was for a shot of liquor that I’ve never heard of before, and a Hamm’s beer. The advertisement said: “Because these pants aren’t going to shit themselves.” That kind of place. We played well. It was a little weird because there was no sound guy. There was barely even a person to tell us that there was no sound guy. We had to ask the door guy. He kind of laughed. Luckily, I’ve been figuring out sound systems for a while now, so we had it up and running in no time. It was a Halloween themed event, costumes were encouraged. We decided to go with a church theme. The singer dressed like a priest, and the rest of us were choir boys. It wasn’t my idea, but since there was an idea, eventually, I went along with the group. I’m a team player. The drummer had planned this idea, thinking we would go up in a processional style, following the singer with candles and a cross. At the moment though, no one really seemed to want to, so we scrapped it.

     I think we actually got a legitimate encore request. People seemed to enjoy themselves. People were screaming for us to play 1 more. We had not prepared 1 more, but we dusted off an oldy. I made sure all the other bands were cool with us playing longer, by a show of thumbs. We got all thumbs up! That felt pretty cool. I was surprised how well we played the oldy. We probably hadn’t played that song in 3 months, but we nailed it. That felt good. The band after us was horrible. They did not take the time to make sure the sound system was set up for them. They seemed more interested in how they looked. I tried to help with the sound. I eventually got it working, but it was difficult because they were so bad, I couldn’t tell how it was supposed to sound. They were very theatrical, there was a lot going on, it was not good. I feel bad, because their guitar player has been to see us a couple of times, and seemed genuinely excited that we were finally playing together. But I can’t, in good conscience, play with them again. I can’t invite anyone to that. The third band was traveling from Washington state. They were okay. Kind of gothic rock. They at least knew what they were doing, and seemed, at least slightly, professional. By that time, it was after 11, and we were ready to go. I feel bad, because the last band was the band who set the whole show up. It seemed that most the people there were friends of theirs. It was technically their show, they invited us to be a part. We should have supported them. But, I’ve seen them twice already, and I don’t really like them. I thought they were going third, and I was willing to stay, just to be nice, but last!? Sorry. I’m old. They know I’m old. It’s not like some big frickin secret.

     The age difference is definitely noticeable. When we first started playing, back in the day, it was all of our friends coming to see us. Now, not many of our friends come anymore. We’re kind of trying to get new fans. But it’s tough. None of us seem very interested in making new friends. We are probably twice as old as most of the people at the show. We don’t really have that much in common. Plus, most of us don’t really want to be there anyway. We like playing to people, and hearing the applause. But we don’t really want to be out late, surrounded by twenty-somethings, without a seat, listening to crappy bands. That is not an equation for success. It kind of felt that way too, when my wife and I went to a show last week. We went to support a “friend” of ours who was putting on a festival. It was a bunch of Stoner Rock bands. We went to be nice, and supportive. 2 of the bands were legit, and we enjoyed ourselves. But the rest were so blah. A lot of the same stuff over and over. But, even at that show, I found myself wondering: “Why do I want to be here?” It’s really starting to weigh on me. I’m at these shows, wondering: “What the hell am I doing here?” At least the Stoner Rock show was people our age, but still, I don’t have much interest in walking around, trying to make “friends.” I’m not sure what this all means. I know it’s just confusing, sitting around thinking about if this is really what I still want. It is different now. Our friends are our age, and they don’t really want to be doing these things either. So what are we doing it for? I have practice tonight, with part of the prog band. I’m excited, we haven’t played in a while. It’s fun. That’s what I have to keep reminding myself of: it’s fun to play.