The Bumper Year

 

Feeling on track is a lot better than feeling adrift. I've really only felt “on track” a few times. But it is those times that make the rest of the journey worthwhile. I have to imagine that a lot of people are feeling that way now. Finally getting back to some sense of “normalcy” after more than a year of confusion. That's another reason why the timing of my resurgence seems so apropos. I've gotten really lucky, and have been able to use the last year to be as creative as possible. And now that things are opening back up, I am able to hit the ground running. Well, kind of. As usual, some parts “yes” and some parts “no.” Just the fact that I can dream again, and imagine again, and see that the path is still there, is enough motivation for me at this time. For a long time there it seemed hard to see past all the nonsense. Sometimes I think maybe this quarantine was a blessing in disguise. I know people have had a hard time, and are still having a hard time. I don't mean to make light of their struggle. I know if this had happened 5 or 6 years ago, I don't know what I would've done. We had 1 dinky computer, no WIFI to speak of, no laptop, no unlimited data. I honestly do not know what we would have done. I'm sure we would've figured out something, but I can't think of what right now. But for us, it happened at the exact right time. We could do something about it. I have to imagine that we aren't the only ones. That is one of my core essential feelings: No matter how unique a person is, if you feel a way, someone else feels that way too.

In general, on paper, I don't think taking a little more than a year off to reevaluate your situation is a “bad” thing. Having no income and no place to go is undesirable, but time to reflect is essential. I know back before I left “home” I was offered an opportunity to maintain my current living status for a year, while I decided what direction I wanted to go. At that time, I felt my current living status was part of the problem. The last thing I wanted was another year of it, I wanted change. Now, the idea of a “Bumper Year” is fairly common. We actually suggested our daughter take a Bumper Year, but she wasn't interested either. Which in itself is kind of funny. We didn't really think she wanted to go where she “said” she wanted to go. We didn't really think she wanted to do what she “said” she wanted to do. But we wanted to support her, and her decisions, so we found a way to send her to her “dream school.” That didn't even last 6 months. Then she decided a Bumper Year sounded like a good idea. And guess what? Now she's killing it! She took some time off, figured out what she really wanted to get involved in. Took some time to slough off the childishness of High School, and get her head straight for involvement in the “real” world. I think having that time to think is invaluable. Granted, we, as adults, do not always have that kind of time to reflect. For most of us, a year without income causes more stress than relief. But I also think in a lot of ways, it could have caused growth for a lot of people.

Unfortunately, in my experience, you grow most when things are challenging. That's kind of the sucky part. You learn, or at least should learn, all of these coping skills when things are not going your way, and you can only truly appreciate them once the turmoil is over. That is why it is said that “Hindsight is always 20/20.” Only afterwards can we truly see what the completed experience has done for us. Perhaps a person was laid off from a job they didn't like. Sure, it paid the bills, but they weren't “happy.” Maybe after their Reflection Time they thought of what would make them happy. Or perhaps they found another gig that “pays the bills,” but they actually find more fulfillment doing this job over the other. So they basically somehow “stumbled” into a more meaningful existence. If we don't take time to do this in our “normal” lives we miss all kinds of opportunities to change. Granted, there are people, perhaps a lot of people, who do not really like change. Change can be a disruptor. But, and I really mean this from the bottom of my heart, change is necessary. We have to change, it is inevitable. As bothersome as that may be to some people, the truth is that “Change is the only constant.” So some people fight it. To no avail. Therefore my suggestion is to cause change. When you initiate change, and welcome the new set of experiences you'll learn, the natural change that occurs won't be so daunting. When you find a way to bring on turmoil in a creative way, and choose the discipline that will in essence make life tougher on yourself for a little while, “normal” life changes won't be that big a deal.