Man, I totally spaced on doing this yesterday. I'm trying to get back in the habit of making sure I at least write once a week. I find it's easier to keep up on certain things when you do them in a certain way. Such as on a certain day, or at a certain time. It becomes less of “remembering” and more of “how you are.” I'm glad I remembered. It was sort of strange too, I was just sitting down eating lunch, when all of a sudden, POP right into my head, “I didn't write yesterday.” I like when things like that happen. I like to imagine that my inner-self and my outer-self are working in unison when that happens. It seems that if you can get your inner-self to know what you'd actually like to get done, it can help you. It certainly seems better at it than my outer-self. I also find it funny that when it popped into my head, I sat there for a moment, trying to remember what could have possibly taken up my time. I had every intention of writing yesterday. Thursday afternoon is my designated day. It just so happened, and I'm glad, that my normal Friday stuff got taken off my list, so I have time! So, as I sat there contemplating, it dawned on me that I had spent pretty much the entire afternoon on a new game that I'm working on. Then it all made sense. Being a creative being, I require a certain amount of inspiration. I know some people can be creative at will, and I'm working on it. But for the most part, I have to strike while the iron is hot. So if I get an idea in my head, then that is what I'm doing.
I got so into my arts and crafts yesterday that I totally forgot what I intended to do. And that seems to be another facet of having an inner-self. The inner-self can help you get what you want. But, if the inner-self has a desire of it's own, then it is absolutely not going to help you. That's kind of the fun part of being a creative, when your inner-self is getting to do what it wants, you feel as though you're getting what you want. When both of you feel like you're getting what you want, then you feel as though you're doing what you're “supposed” to be doing. That feeling is intoxicating. I understand it to be that feeling that causes all creatives to be creative. I'm sure other people feel that connection in different ways, though they may not label it as “creative,” it's still a powerful motivator. And that's where I was yesterday, “in the midst.” Which again is, in itself, a little odd. This new game idea popped into my head just a few days ago. Usually when I get an idea I mull it over for a while. How's it going to work? What will it look like? Can it be explained? But this one just popped in. Almost as if it had been pre-planned. So for the past couple of days I have been immersed in figuring it out. When my inner-self gets something in it's clutches my outer-self has no choice. Everything else seems to slip into the periphery. I suppose the general public would call it “focus.” But, 1) I have a difficult time dealing with words that have more than one type of meaning. And, 2) “focus” to me is something you do, not something that happens to you. When I'm in that state I am not “trying,” I am in a flow state.
There, you see that? I found another one. State. I'm not a fan of words like that. The mental situation you are in, or the label of the physical geography you are in. That can be confusing. But I'm leaving it there, I'm not about spending time trying to figure that one out right now. Anyway, back to the task at hand. Usually when I'm working on a game, it goes through several different versions before I make what I'd call a “working demo.” And, as I mentioned before, most of the time I have to wait for inspiration. I have enough little projects in my head, and in my home, that if not inspired, I have a list from which to choose. I do my best not to sit idly by. But, also as previously mentioned, when inspiration hits, that is what is being done. I have this kind of fear, or apprehension, that if inspiration is not accepted, then it may not return. I hope that doesn't sound silly. It is something I have grown to feel is true. And I am not willing to find out what happens if I don't act on my inspirations. Because, as long as I have been doing things this way, it keeps happening! And, surprisingly enough, it seems to have a natural ebb and flow about it. I never seem to be inspired by more than one thing at a time. Well, I guess that wouldn't really be possible, because when I'm in the midst of an inspiration, I'm already there. Anyway, I'm leaving that in too. It's funny I wrote that, because technically I was working on a different game when the new game popped in. But the new one was way more powerful, and the other one is almost done. This kind of thing seems to be happening more and more. Yay!
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