Thursday, August 10, 2023

Prepping To Make Final Decisions

      Only a few more days left of the sister-in-law visit! I’m glad my wife is getting to spend time with her sister, but this is starting to feel like a lot. I know I can say “no,” and have done so a couple of times, but I don’t want to be “that guy.” One of her sisters was only in town for 4 days with her family, and she was already telling the others that her husband was going to “hate her for this.” Hate her for spending time with her family? Hate her for finally making the introductions after 13 years? I definitely don’t want to be that guy. One time when we were sitting around, he told me that once his youngest is 18, him and his wife are moving off the grid, to be self-sustained. I’ve got no problem with wanting to be self-sufficient, I’ve got no problem with people wanting to be left alone. What I do have a problem with is people abandoning their obligations and not being honest with those whom which they are involved. Their oldest son is on the spectrum. He’s as nice a kid as you could meet, but he’s probably going to need at least a little help, for the rest of his life. He’s 13 and his favorite show is Sesame Street. The more time I spend with him, the more obvious it becomes that this is not a phase, and he has some problems with social cues. His younger brother is 11. Sweet kid too. He seems to be a typical, level-headed, juvenile. When he was with my wife, he mentioned that he knew about his dad’s plan, and is already, at 11 years old, planning on taking care of his brother for the rest of his life, because his parents want to live in the woods. Un-fucking-believable! I can’t believe my sister-in-law would sign up for this. It doesn’t make any sense. She likes to get her hair did, I can’t imagine she’ll be cool out in the woods being a farmer.

     Not that there’s anything wrong with being a farmer, but I’m telling you, this is a city girl. They live in the sticks now, and she feels isolated. The other concern is that there is talk of my mother-in-law, and her boyfriend, moving to Tennessee to be near the family. Well, I’m sure the lower housing costs have something to do with it too, but at least originally, it started off as this idea to be closer to that branch of the family. And now we find out that that branch of the family’s plan is to move away from everyone!? It doesn’t make any sense. So now I’m wondering if my mother-in-law knows or not. We’re not even sure if she’s really going. It seems like a lot of talk right now, but still, it has people thinking. It’s kind of difficult to make life changing decisions if the people you are making those plans with aren’t being completely up front and honest. Plus, my mother-in-law keeps making it about being with the boys. But by the time she goes, if she goes, they’ll be well into their teens. I have a hard time believing they’ll have a bunch of time for grandma. Well, one of them might. I don’t know why I get so irritated. It doesn’t even really affect me. My wife will be sad, but it won’t really affect me that much at all. I just hope she knows about this whole plan before she makes any big decisions. I don’t want to see her get screwed because of some lack of communication. It’s also unnerving because she has another daughter that lives in Arizona with 2 boys under 5, both on the spectrum! That’s someone who needs help. Her husband is fairly hands off, and I think could probably use an extra set of hands, and eyes, to keep the ship sailing smoothly. But that doesn’t even seem to be a consideration, which I find odd. Oh well, like I said, it doesn’t really concern me, I have no say. I just want people to think things through.

     This Sunday we’re supposedly going to spread my father-in-law’s ashes. When I asked my wife where we were going, she seemed to have no clue. I thought that was peculiar. She seemed to really want to spread them at Jack Murphy Stadium, but they probably wouldn’t have let us even if it was still standing. Apparently, he didn’t like the beach, so that’s out. So, it seems that we’ll just drive around the mountains until we find a spot that looks good. Hopefully, between my wife and her sister, they’ll have some epiphany in the next couple of days as to where we should go. I just thought it was weird that they didn’t already have a spot in mind. I guess you never know what you’ll think about until you have to. I’m just glad I’m here to be able to say things like: “Where?” Along with that, the Calvins get to go back to the studio on Saturday to finish up the final mix on our new EP. We listened together the other night, to make sure we had some kind of plan going in. We don’t want to waste time arguing while we’re paying. My bandmates did not have the same concerns as me. Which I guess is expected. But they didn’t seem to have that many notes. I had a small sheet. 2 of the 4 songs only needed minor changes. We’re stoked about that. I’m just not sure why this time is so different than the last time. I actually thought it was going to be smoother because he had already worked with us before, but it hasn’t felt like it. Last time we were in and out. Now, it’s been almost a month since we recorded. I’m not sure what’s going on. I know the tracks sound mostly good. I know I hope I get my way. And I know it will sound awesome if we can get it right. I didn’t notice too much opposition to my list of notes, so we should be fine.

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