Downtime

      I think I’m going to have to come up with a different schedule. These days I always find myself doing this at 3, knowing full well I have to leave a little after 4 to pick up my wife. That doesn’t give me much time. Which, as I have probably mentioned before, is kind of good, so I don’t sit around thinking too much, but is also kind of unhelpful because I don’t really have time to contemplate. As much as I want this to be mostly stream of consciousness, I also want it to make sense, and be interesting. I have noticed a few times lately, when I’m done, re-reading it, parts of it may be hard to follow. I’m sure I could be more eloquent if I put more effort in. But, as previously mentioned, I don’t want to think too much about it. So, I’m stuck in a bit of a conundrum. I’ve already been thinking that I should probably have lunch a little earlier. These days I’m not eating lunch until around 2. I like having a certain amount of time between meals. Breakfast at 10 and lunch at 12 doesn’t seem right. I need more time. I can make a few changes. I can work towards lunch at 1. But then it’s like 6 hours until dinner. Well, not on Thursday, I have practice on Thursday. I may have just found a chink in my own armor. Once again, my stream of consciousness has lead me to an answer that may help me. Thanks me. Well, I don’t really feel that it’s “me, me,” but that’s a different topic for a different day. I am often overwhelmed by the way I try to rationalize or “make excuses” for everything. It’s something I’m working on. That along with everything else. Oh well, I like having projects. I never have nothing to do, yet I always seem to find time to do nothing. I’ll have to look deeper into that at a more appropriate time, when I can think.

     Last weekend was uneventful as planned. We really slept in. That’s another thing I sit on the fence about. We wake up early all week long, I think it’s good to be able to sleep in, and wake up when you’re good and ready. But at the same time, when you wake up at 1, the whole day seems gone. So, we caught up on sleep. We’ve been through quite a bit recently, and I feel it’s acceptable. A body needs rest. Good thing we had no plans. My wife asked if I was sure that it was “okay” that we didn’t do anything. I assured her that it was. I’m a big fan of downtime. Downtime is usually when I get most of my thinking done. I think one of the problems in a lot of people’s lives is lack of downtime. I don’t see how you can focus on yourself when you’re constantly busy. Between you and me, I think a lot of people try to keep themselves busy so they don’t have to think about themselves. I think a lot of people hate the voice in their head, and will do anything to silence it. Or at least keep it from bothering them too much. I think it’s a shame. To me, if it’s bothering you, that is a sign that something needs corrected. And I know that sometimes you can’t get to the solution right away, and it’s a little unnerving that your mind wants to keep thinking about a thing you can’t do anything about yet. But we need to find a way to deal with it, and I don’t think constant task shifting is the way to deal with it. I honestly think that acknowledging it will help with the redundancy of thinking about it again. I think our inner person needs the same amount of attention that any other person needs. Keeping that from it leads to indecision. I also think a major part of the issue is that people are not being made aware that this attention is required.

     I know that we can’t spend all of our time thinking, stuff needs done. Funnily enough, while we “weren’t doing anything,” we went outside and checked out our yard. We cut back the roses and checked out the rest of our plant family. We’ve been getting a lot of rain recently, and wanted to see how everything was doing. We hadn’t been out in a while. Everything was fine. Although, some of our succulents were drowning. We had to dump the water. We’re not bringing our plants in and out. If they can’t tolerate it, we’ll find ones that can. We care, but they are just plants. There is definitely a line to be drawn between “downtime” and boredom. As the Reverend Maynard said: “Boredom’s not a burden anyone should bear.” Hence why I think downtime is good. It makes someone think: “I guess I’d like to go trim the roses.” Perfect. This weekend, however, will not have as much recovery time. We’re going to a show Friday night, my wife has a “girl’s toes day” on Saturday, and I have a gig on Sunday. I’m pretty stoked.  Except for a few things. 1) It is supposed to be raining all weekend. People here don’t usually like doing anything in the rain. Luckily Sunday should be minimal. (Fingers crossed) 2) My foot hurts. For some reason I woke up on Monday and could barely walk. It’s not much better today, and the thought of standing all night at practice tonight, standing all night at the show tomorrow, and then trying to play a show on Sunday, all sounds a bit much. I just keep hoping everyday that when I wake up it’ll be all better. It hasn’t happen yet. I’m a little nervous. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re in pain. I also find it very hard to be “myself,” because I’m usually fairly animated, and when it hurts to move, animation is not really “in the cards.” I’m just trying my best to not fall over, grimace, or look like I’m walking funny.