Number 52!

      Last one of the year! I’m quite happy about that. It’s so easy to just kind of pass on things, but I didn’t, I made it the whole year. I’m stoked! And I hope this is a trend that continues. I hope to have more exciting things to tell you about. On my social media feed, it reminded me that I was in Mexico for the holidays last year. It seems like a lot longer than a year ago. I know they say that time flies when you’re having fun, I don’t want to think about the reasons why this past year seemed to last a long time. But of course, as soon as I type it, I start to think about it. It’s not that we weren’t having fun, but some serious stuff went down. My wife lost her father in February. That’ll put a drag on things. Dealing with family drama, and trauma, will put a drag on things. Organizing a funeral will put a drag on things. Asking our daughter to step up or step out put a drag on things. My wife not being able to drive put a drag on things. Even at my most recent comedy show, when they asked when I took the class, I was blown away at the idea that it was only last year that I started this new journey. A lot has happened. And I guess we’re all the better for it. Perhaps it has something to do with coming out of lock down. Stuck inside for nearly 2 years, time seemed to fly. Now with the world getting back to a more “normal” state, perhaps all of the activity is making it seem like a lot of time has passed. That’s what I’m going with. As soon as I typed it, and re-read it, I had the feeling of it making sense. Nothing for 2 years, and then all of a sudden, something to do almost every weekend. That’ll make 52 weeks feel more like 104.

     Christmas was pretty good. My wife’s sister was in town with her children. They came in Friday, and left on Tuesday. My wife was very excited to see her sister, and her nephews. She wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. I accommodated. They stayed with my mother-in-law. It’s only a 20-minute trip, so we shuffled back and forth quite a bit. It was a bit of a madhouse over there. The 2 boys, 1 about to be 5, and the other about to be 3, are both on the spectrum. I don’t know how my sister-in-law does it. They’re sweet boys, for the most part, but it is still a lot to handle. And she does it all with a smile on her face. For the most part. It’s a lot of work. 2 little balls of energy without the ability to communicate or self-edit. They have to constantly be watched. I was glad to be able to help. She also has 2 stepchildren, a boy 14, and a female 17. They are “regular” children, mostly well behaved, and able to help their stepmother. They do seem to bear the brunt of their stepmother’s frustration, but they’re teenagers, and probably don’t even notice it. I hugged them for the first time as we left after Christmas dinner. I’ve known them for about 7 years. I’ve probably seen them 6 times. I’m not a big hugger anyway. This trip I kind of felt sorry for them. They didn’t seem to mind all the chaos, but I felt they might get ignored. I don’t know how everyone can get their needs met, when 2 of the 4 require a lot more attention. My wife made the teenagers stand up and hug her. I was right there. I said: “You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to.” They kind of shrugged, like it was no big deal. So, I hugged them. What the heck.  

     My parents, and sister, came over to my mother-in-law’s for Christmas dinner also. Let them enjoy a little bit of the chaos. It was good to see them. We went over to their house for Christmas Eve. It was a little strange though, because we usually stay the night, but this year my mom said we couldn’t. She even offered to pay for our Uber, but I said I can take it easy. That was strange. Plus cancelling on us for her birthday, I’m not sure what’s going on. I know she’s having some kind of back trouble, but that doesn’t explain everything. Now we’re invited over for a New Year’s staycation. So, hopefully we’ll get some more info. It’s mostly fun hanging with them. Plus, they only live 7 minutes from us, and we still barely see them. So, when we get the chance, we make it last. Especially since, and I know it’s scary to mention, we don’t know how many more of these opportunities we’ll get. Sometimes I feel guilty for not seeing them more, but we were so apart for so long, we never really got in the habit of seeing each other regularly. Plus, none of us live very exciting lives, so there’s not much to catch up on. Retired people who rarely leave the house, and whatever it is you’d call me, don’t really have a lot to say. But I still like to spend time with them, and am excited about this weekend. We get to play some of my games, I love willing guinea pigs. We’re already working on the menu, which is another one of my favorite parts, cooking. It should be fun. We got invited to 2 other parties, but this just seemed to be the best fit. In lighter news: I finally got a video of my most recent comedy performance. They posted it on YouTube. I was reluctant to share it because of various reasons, but I did. I hope people like it.

The Reason For The Season

      Happy Solstice! I think it’s weird that so many people have holidays centered around this event, and yet seem to somehow think it’s a coincidence. People have been celebrating this event for thousands of years, and yet it still doesn’t really get the recognition it deserves. Honestly, I think it will someday. It is after all, the constant. Religions will come and go, philosophies will come and go, but unless something really drastic happens, there will always be the shortest day of the year. Or the longest night, however you want to look at it. I find it to be a much more natural, observable, thing to celebrate. I hate to be the one to say it, but I think the Santa story is on its way out. So many split-home people, people without fireplaces, and just the amount of people, are going to make the story hard to sustain. Are kids really going to continue to believe that elves made their Play Station? It may have been fine back in the day of handmade toys, but now? It has to be dwindling. Kids are allegedly getting smarter. And it may still work on the ones too young to ask questions, but in general, the story doesn't hold up. The Santa we all recognize was a marketing gimmick in the first place. Now people don’t even want to say “Merry Christmas” anymore. I’m not sure exactly who’s the biggest detractor from it. I’m not married to the saying. I know it’s a phrase we grew up with. I know a lot of people don’t like change. And, even though they may be heathens, they still on some level think it has to do with Jesus. It’s as if they feel that removing the phrase “Christmas” from our annual greeting, pulls one of their founding blocks out from under them, causing everything to be a lie. It’s a tad ridiculous. Humans are going to continue to celebrate this time of year regardless of what the celebration might be called.

     It seems even more likely now, that we would possibly return to our natural ways. Commercialism is putting a lot of us off. And, it’s causing the lessor of us to act like fools trying to win favor with gifts. Fighting for the new toy, screaming at the cashier about something which they have no control over, and worst of all, creating a stressful environment when we’re “supposed to be” enjoying time with family and friends. I really don’t think feeling obligated is worth celebrating. Who’s actually gaining anything during the season? The retailers. I went to the mall the other day, just to do a lap, maybe get some ideas. I couldn’t believe how many storefronts were empty. Plus, there was almost nobody there. It was weird. Kind of eerie. I did not miss the crowd, but I couldn’t believe how little there was to look at. I suppose the bulk of people are doing their shopping online? Unless, like I was kind of getting to, they’re not shopping at all. People keep complaining about prices, maybe enough of us are like “never mind.” It seems to be becoming a gift card holiday anyway. After a while I imagine it will just stop all together. We may want to still send notes to each other, a reason to reach out, a reminder that we’re thinking about them, but I think the craziness will wane. Plus, since we’re such a melting pot here, and as the phrase “Happy Holidays” keeps gaining more momentum, we may find that eventually all the different “Holidays” will kind of blend into one big one, and it will be right around the solstice. At that point I feel like we will be finally getting back to our natural way of being. I feel our natural way of being was taken by the spread of Christianity. We no longer even know what we used to do, because the Christians went around destroying all of the evidence that would lead us to remember that we were not barbarians, we were of the Earth.

     Well, I certainly didn’t think I’d be writing all of that! I’m not down on “Christmas.” I think this is the most wonderful time of the year. I just wish it wasn’t all wrapped up in consumerism. I wish people would be more calm, and thankful. Be more at peace, and more loving. I think the sentiment is on point. I just wish we acted more like all the little happy sayings go. When I went to get groceries this week, the cashier asked how I was. I said “Good, how about you?” Then she goes into this whole thing about hating Mondays, and having to deal with all of the people who come in on Monday, because they wanted to avoid the weekend shoppers. I couldn’t believe she was so comfortable sharing this with me, someone she doesn’t know, doing the exact thing she’s complaining about. To my face. That didn’t seem like the holiday spirit. People don’t seem to be merrily skipping along, glad to be part of the celebration. That’s a bummer. I try to keep a good attitude all year long. I said try! If all the lights and decorations don’t make a difference, why still do it? Obligation? We only do minimal decorations at our home. It’s just the 2 of us, so we don’t have to try to keep up an image. But I do notice that it makes a little bit of a difference. New things to look at for a little while. Easing of the mood. Festive reminders of what we’re to be thankful for. I’m also a big proponent of the reminder that things are changing. We do not live in stasis. Things change. We need to be aware of those changes happening. And celebrations are a great way to remind ourselves. But we have to remind ourselves! It’s so easy to get caught up in the hoopla that for far too many of us, we actually forget what is the real reason for the season.

Incognito Looky-Loo

      Not much to report on today. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. Earlier today I had a package delivered to my house. I wasn’t expecting anything. So, I was a little caught off guard when the package was left on my porch. I also thought it was weird because my front door was open, with the screen door closed. It has been warmer outside than inside, so I’ve been letting the warm air in. It’s a lot cheaper that way. I thought I may have heard the guy say something, but I wasn’t quite sure. I just thought it was weird to not get the attention of the recipient, especially when they’re obviously home. I guess technically he did get my attention. And I suppose stopping and knocking at every door would be quite time consuming. So, I guess I’ll drop it. I went out to look at the package. Not expecting anything, I looked for the address first. It was misdelivered. We are number 32 and it was for number 34. The units are all marked, so I thought it was odd to have made a 2-home mistake. But hey, I get it, people get in a hurry. And, if you’re not familiar with the area, maybe it all looks the same, I don’t know. I was glad however, that it was only a 2-home error. Last year, we got a package that wasn’t even for our community. It was supposed to have been delivered to a place almost a mile away. That was mind boggling, because it really wasn’t our address. I drove that one to where it needed to be. The person was thankful. But, today, as I was about to take the package to my neighbor, a fire truck pulls up right in front of my house. Curiously I peeked through the window to see what was going on. And, it turns out, they had an ambulance with them, and they were taking away one of my neighbors from 31! I decided to wait a little.

     I couldn’t quite see as I was looking through the window who it was. A couple lives there. They are older. He’s the one who trimmed my bushes, that I told you about a couple of weeks ago. I’m not sure which one it was. I hope they’re okay. I think it must be, because they were gone in less than 10 minutes. I also thought it was strange that there were no lights or sirens. That also leads me to believe that it may have not been that serious. Although I know that you normally don’t get taken away by ambulance, there are times when it’s less severe, or at least not an “emergency.” That’s one of the reasons I decided to stay inside and let them do there thing. I know we’re all curious when we see something like that, but I don’t want to be one of the looky-loos, standing around trying to get details. I also don’t want to be part of the rumor mill, or God forbid, have one of my neighbors try to talk to me about what happened. I don’t like getting in the middle. I don’t want to get in the middle. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be around if something goes awry. Also, I thought it might look a little strange if “all of a sudden” I decide to deliver this package. “Oh, don’t mind me, I just decided to try to deliver this package in the middle of what could be an emergency situation.” I didn’t even need to go that way, but still, the truck was right in front of my house, I would have had to walk around it. I think it would look to much like I was trying to be an incognito looky-loo. “Oh, I don’t care what’s going on over there, I just thought right now would be an excellent time to deliver this misdelivered package.” I waited a few minutes after they left to take the package. I wasn’t sure if they were home or not, so I just left it near their door in an obvious place.

     There’s no practice this week. Well, no official practice. I still have to practice to keep my fingers calloused. If I go too long without playing, my fingers get soft, and I have to re-callous them. That sucks! Not many things hurt worse than playing your bass with brand new, fresh skin. My wrist was hurt last year, and I basically had to relearn how to play. I feel like I’ve been trying to get my fingers back into shape since then. I’m not going to let that happen again. Plus, we’re learning a new cover song, so I have something to dig into. It’s a Minor Threat song. It’s right up my alley. But I find myself wondering how I have lived my whole life without hearing it. I’ve heard the name Minor Threat often, but I never really got exposed to it. Now I’m like wow! It’s something I probably should have heard a long time ago. But there was no internet back then, and I had no friends, so it’s not likely that I would have gotten introduced. The Calvin’s drummer got Covid, which is why no practice this week. We scheduled it for today since I didn’t have Eruption practice, but he’s still not well. Good! Keep that shit away from me. It seems like a lot of people are still getting it. Our daughter got it the week after Thanksgiving! Plus, this seems to be knocking people down. The last time I heard of people getting Covid, it was like: “Eh, it wasn’t that bad.” This time people are down for a week. And I know it has been a big deal, and I know people were dying, but I’m talking about local, personal, accounts. Anyway, I’m all about not getting sick, so if that means no practice, then I’m all good. On another note, I was correct about the Eruption drummer as well. My other bandmates are busy the last 3 Thursdays of the year, so he has time to heal.

Am I Supposed To?

     So happy it’s Thursday! A guy my wife used to work with would say that every Thursday. He would usually preface it with the initials: S.H.I.T. It’s one of those old-man type jokes that just get annoying after a while. Come on, every Thursday?! He thought he was clever. Now, neither of us can hear, nor type, that phrase without thinking about him. He was an okay guy, but we’d never really be “friends.” Now the phrase usually gets met with an eyeroll, a bit of an exasperated “ugh,” and the word: “Julius.” Wow, I was about to go into a lot more information than you needed to know. Good thing I caught myself. This is not about him. But that’s what you get sometimes when you don’t have an agenda. It’s funny how words like “agenda” can be both good and bad, depending on how it affects you. It makes me think that the people who started the anti-agenda movement probably weren’t big planners, and thus thinking those who have a plan must be evil. It’s weird to think that people different than us must have something wrong with them. I’m a naturally curious person. When I encounter something unfamiliar, I usually become interested. Having never really been part of a “group,” I don’t really have an “us verses them” mentality. It’s also weird, since I’m here already, that the dynamic to which I was just referring to is changing a bit. It feels like, for the longest time, we did have this development happening where we’ve been programmed to think that different meant wrong. Although, now that I think about it, it seems like that has been changing. It feels like now, when people encounter a difference to themselves, they take the position that something must be wrong with themselves. Not everybody obviously, but I think a significant populace do. That could be one of the reasons that depression is running so rampant, people thinking that there’s something wrong with them because they aren’t like everyone else.

     Whoa! I did not know I was going there. I feel like I could keep going, but I’m afraid I might say something I’m not “supposed” to. “Supposed to” is another phrase I battle with. In general, I feel like “supposed to” is a bunch of rubbish. Says who? Is the supposition made by yourself or another? Yet, at the same time, I do feel like there are some certain things that should be done, and sometimes in a particular way. But, whenever I catch myself using “supposed to,” I am reminded that I don’t particularly subscribe to that sentiment. And now you know. Back to the beginning, I really am glad it’s Thursday. Tonight might very well be the last Eruption practice of the year. Although, it’s not really “Eruption” practice. Our drummer was in a car accident a couple of months ago, and so when he’s not around we have JoZ practice. We basically make stuff up to a drum machine. Or we use the drum machine to help us practice our parts for the Eruption. In the beginning, we didn’t have a drum machine, and we would just improvise anything we wanted to. It sounded a little bit like new-jazz, hence the word JoZ. (Imagine saying jazz in a pretentious voice) We have a lot of fun. It’s one thing when you’ve got work to get done, but it’s a whole other thing when you’re just having fun. There are no “supposed to’s” in JoZ. Anyway, I’m excited. Today is also the day that our drummer meets with his doctor to find out how much longer he’ll be out of commission. I hope he’s getting better. I’m sure he is, but whiplash can take a long time to heal from. And, since we already know we’re not practicing the next 2 weeks, that’ll only give us one chance before the end of the year. I don’t take pride in being a pessimist, but I have to say, this has got all the workings of: “Let’s just wait and see how I feel at the beginning of the year.” Which is fine. Heal!

     My birthday was on Sunday. It was pretty cool. My wife and I went out to dinner with my parents and sister. We went to a place called Café Sevilla. It’s a Spanish tapas restaurant. It was delicious. Some of the best ceviche I’ve ever had. We like being able to try a bunch of different things, and that place knocks it out of the park. I thought my parents had never had paella before, which was kind of the reason I picked it, for the experience. It turns out they had, but we had never had it together, so there you go. I thought it was weird because initially, they seemed very hesitant to the idea. It caught me off guard. My memory starts in Japan. Most of my life, I’ve lived with this idea of “try it.” I did not get that on my own! These people made me, and my sister, try everything. If you didn’t like it, you didn’t need to eat it all, but you had to try it. This has led me to be a very adventurous eater. I’ll try just about anything, and gravitate towards things I don’t know. I want to try new things! My sister, not quite so much. She’s getting better. Somehow my wife got her to try sushi about ten years ago, and now she seems to finally be coming around to the idea that we don’t like garbage. So far, I bet she’d be willing to say that she like’s everything we’ve exposed her to. And hopefully her life experience is becoming more broad. But the fact that my parents are apprehensive of trying new things now has got me flummoxed. Who are these people? We were “supposed to” have dinner with them yesterday for my mom’s birthday, which was actually on the 5^th. We’d been texting about it. All of a sudden, my dad calls yesterday to cancel. I know my mom is not always well, but it seemed so sudden. I decided not to ask what was wrong.

Leftovers Are Part Of The Season

      Rainy day in otherwise sunny southern California. It’s nice, we can use it. I especially like it because it should have been a watering day for me anyway, and now, since it’s rained, I don’t have to waste the water. It is weird though, to need the light sitting here at 3 pm. My eyes are not what they once were, and it’s becoming overly apparent that low light contributes to the lack of vision. For some reason, I still always try extra light first, when I’m having trouble seeing. More light usually helps, but I find myself often wondering why I don’t just get my glasses. Sometimes I’ll grab something, to look at the directions, or ingredients, and I laugh to myself out loud: “Yeah right, like I can read it.” The struggle is real my friends. Old age seems like such a distant dream, until you’re wrapped up in it. I’m starting to feel old, I can’t imagine what people my parent’s age feel like. I got to spend some time with them over the holiday weekend. It was nice. The first 10 years of my relationship with my wife, they lived on the East Coast, so we didn’t really see them very much. Then, when they moved back to California, they were up in Ridgecrest, which is about a 4-hour drive from here. We were always glad to get to go see them. They had a cool house, and it was a nice little road trip vacation for us. So, for years, that’s what we did on the holidays, drive up and spend a few days with them. Now, even though they only live 7 miles from us, we still have kind of kept the tradition of spending days together. It’s fun to stay up late playing games, and wake up and start grilling, not having to worry about driving anywhere. Plus, it’s suspended reality for my wife and I, as if we are on vacation. And I’m sure it helps them too, because they finally have some company.

     Also, I think the staycation gets more intimate in a way. When you meet people for dinner, a lot of times I find it can be kind of superficial. You only have a limited amount of time. Usually, different people have a lot to say. You spend so much time catching up, then eating, then it’s kind of over, and you’re back on to your busy life. When you spend extended time with people, it gives a chance for the underlying things to float to the surface. After you’ve already talked about all the small talk, and catching up, then real things can be discussed. They don’t always, of course, but I think it makes it more plausible when you have what can seem like a lot of time with each other. We usually make a menu for the weekend, and it gives me time to play with all of their gadgets. I don’t even know how much they actually cook, but they love to buy kitchen gadgets. Going over gives me a chance to play, and them a chance to see how their wares actually work. It’s mostly fun. It’s usually delicious. This year we got the turkey carcass from Thanksgiving, and I made a stock out of it. While that was brewing, we had bought some turkey breasts to put in the smoker. One of those breasts made it into the stock, and I made Smoked Turkey Pozole. It was delicious. I just finished up the last of it about an hour ago, I already wish I had more. One of the other breasts became turkey sandwiches. Delicious! Something about juicy smoked turkey, that just sets a sandwich apart. I had also made guacamole. I seriously think I could have won a competition with this batch. I used it to make an Avocado Turkey and Cheese sandwich. My mind was blown. I almost cried. Over a sandwich! It made me wonder why we don’t do that more often. I literally love it.

     The soup was a hit. I picked it because my sister said she had never had pozole before. There are certain things, soups mostly, that she will only try if I make them. So, when I have a chance to try something new, and open a mind or two, I’m all in. It was a success. The next day we got to watch football, and eat up the leftovers. That night we used another smoked turkey breast for a dish we call “pinwheels.” They are kind of like a cinnamon roll, but with turkey. Although, my mom wasn’t feeling up to it, so we really just put this smoked ground turkey gravy over biscuits. It turned out delicious! It felt a little weird, because we invited my mother-in-law over for pinwheels. But that’s not really what she got. I think she liked it. But I think she appreciated the company most of all. It was just a little awkward because we didn’t even find out that my mom wasn’t going to be able to do the cooking until my mother-in-law got there. All of a sudden, my wife and I were thrown into the situation where dinner was on us! It wasn’t that big of a deal, I just wish we had known sooner than 20 minutes before dinner. I like cooking, I’m willing to do all the work, I just need to know ahead of time. It was a little awkward, but it came out fine, and I’m not sure we’ll be doing the actual pinwheels again. Sometimes they can be a bit dry, since it’s basically biscuit dough wrapped around a bunch of ground turkey filling. Then smothered in gravy, which I also smoked by the way. Dinner was a success. Then we packed up our stuff and were on our way. It seemed like we were leaving with more than we came with, but that’s okay, it all fit in our fridge. I barely had to buy any groceries this week, and we’re eating like kings. Leftovers are part of the season!

Thankful Friday

      Black Friday! I won’t be doing any shopping today. Well, maybe at the liquor store, but I doubt they’ll be having a sale. I don’t really get the whole Black Friday thing. Thankful one day and greedy the next? It seems like such a bunch of corporate hogwash. Plus, I can’t believe people would want to wake up early and deal with all of that. It seems like such a sham, and people seem to just eat it up. Also, now that we’re having Black Friday Weekend, and Black Friday Month, it seems to have lost a little of it’s umph. I wonder if people ever even stop and think why they call it “Black” Friday? It feels like such a slap in the face for them to lower their prices just to help them get into the “Black.” They artificially raise their prices all year long, that’s what I see. I don’t understand why more people aren’t bothered by the fact that prices could be lower all the time. You’d probably sell a lot more, a lot more often, if your prices were reasonable regularly. Now I have suspicion that some people are probably putting off large purchases until “Black Friday.” It makes me wonder if the stores know ahead of time what they’ll place on sale, or if they wait every year to see what didn’t fly off the shelves, and put their overstock on sale. I don’t know, it doesn’t really affect me, I wouldn’t be shopping today anyway. I only really know anything about it because of all the commercials. And, I don’t really like being negative, but it makes me wonder about my fellow humans. It concerns me that they would want to spend their time doing that. It concerns me that people seem to be these pawns in this corporate game, and they don’t even see it. It concerns me that corporate greed is so prevalent that they put these games together to help themselves, all the while convincing these pawnish consumers that they are the ones who are in fact being “helped.”

     Sorry, I really don’t like being “Daughn the Downer,” but I do dislike things, and sometimes, maybe more often than not, it’s things that other people do like. Especially because I really like Thanksgiving. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I like the food. I wait for it all year. I like that there’s no religious connotation. I like that there aren’t gifts involved. Hanging out, having food, and being thankful. That’s my jam! But when they start adding consumerism into everything, it kind of bums me out. The world is not going to stop if we take one weekend off from the constant barrage of “buy, buy, buy,” and just be thankful. Plus, I take thankfulness very seriously. I think way too many of us are not thankful enough. I feel it’s important to remind ourselves of that. I wish it happened more often, although then it might not be such a big deal. It needs to be made a big deal. We have so much more than so many people, and it just feels like Thanksgiving, the actual giving of thanks, is being overshadowed by binge shopping and crowded airports. Now a lot of people are getting a 4-day weekend. So, people trying to get ahead of the game are now leaving early, practically giving themselves a 5-day weekend. Are we heading towards Thanksgiving Week? If so, are we going to actually spend that time with our friends and family being thankful, or are we going to spend most of that time traveling and shopping, and still only have 1 good meal? Some people seem to treat the holiday with some kind of obligation. Families fight. Not mine. Things you can’t talk about. Why go? I’m so glad that the people who attend our Thanksgiving are genuinely glad to see each other. We are actually happy to be there with each other. And yeah, there are a few things I probably wouldn’t say to my mother-in-law, but it’s out of respect.

     We had a good time. The food was excellent. I was glad to get to spend time with our daughter. She works so much we don’t really get to see her that much. It was a little awkward again because it was basically my family and my mother-in-law. At her house! No football. She doesn’t have cable. That’s okay. We focused more on conversation. It just left me curious. My mother-in-law has a live-in boyfriend, it still feels a little weird to say that about people in their 60’s. He didn’t stay. I’m not bothered by that. There were actually a couple of incidents recently that made me think that I’d have to watch my tone around him. I had this imagination of me letting him know how I felt during the prayer. But I instantly knew that would not be cool, so by the time we got there, I had already reserved myself to letting it go for this holiday. But, it did get me wondering, would my mother-in-law have gone with him if we weren’t coming over? The whole time we were eating, well maybe not the whole time, but often, I found myself wondering: if we weren’t there, would she be alone? There’s some weirdness about their relationship, especially as it relates to his family. I don’t know, I don’t ask, I’m not sure answers would be given. I’m not sure answers are known. She would definitely be invited to my parent’s for Thanksgiving, so I know she wouldn’t be “alone.” But still, that seemed like a lot of work to do for other people. I know she likes to cook. I know she likes a full house. However, I found myself wondering: did she do all of this, just for us? I wasn’t sure if she turned down her boyfriend’s invitation. I don’t know if she got an invitation. The only person I can talk to about it is my wife, but she doesn’t have that much information either.

Finally Getting To Be On TV

      Well, it finally happened, my episode of Justice with Judge Mablean aired yesterday. I had been waiting a while. I’m sure I must have told you, but in case not, here’s a little recap: Back in the beginning of June, I went up to LA and was cast in an episode of Justice with Judge Mablean. It was pretty fun. I had no idea who she was. While we were waiting for our turn to perform, another actor looked her up on his phone, so we were able to get a feel for what we were in for. I had tried to look her up before I left, but I was having trouble. It worked perfectly for my scene partner, and we both seemed glad to get a little research done. My scene partner had never done any acting before, not even improv. Which is basically what the whole show is about, you have to improvise, there are no “lines,” you just get a basic story line, and then use your imagination. My scene partner, not having much experience, was not getting the gist. They told us if he didn’t get on board, we’d get bumped. We got it together. While filming, I thought I messed up. The judge seemed to get mad at me, there was a lot of back and forth, which is what they told us they wanted. The judge stormed out, then came back in to yell at me some more. I thought I fucked up. My scene partner didn’t really interact that much, so I didn’t think it was his “fault.” Then our producers came out, and they were excited. They said it was one of the best scenes they ever had. They said getting her to come back out was like striking gold. They did a very good job at making us feel like we nailed it. I relaxed. As we were leaving, they gave us some paperwork, and told us that it should be airing in 6-8 weeks. Well, that was back in the beginning of June, 20 weeks ago!

     I know the process takes time, and any time I hear 6-8 weeks, I automatically assume it’ll be 8. So, I thought I’d see something close to the beginning of August. They told us not to contact them, and they gave us some websites that we could look on to find our episode. I’ve been checking 3 times a week since July! At first, like I said, I thought they were just dragging. I don’t know if the writer strike affected them. All I knew was that they weren’t putting out any new episodes. Then, around the middle of September, they put out some new episodes. And one of the episodes coming out just happened to be the case that was filmed just before mine. I was excited! I figured if an episode shot the same day as mine was airing, mine had to be soon. But I kept waiting, and kept checking the site. I started to get discouraged. I thought maybe I had screwed up. Maybe we didn’t do that good. Maybe my scene partner hadn’t interacted enough. Maybe it didn’t make sense. I don’t know, all kinds of things were running through my head. I kept checking the site, but I started to get bummed, and started to really feel like it wasn’t going to see the light of day. Then, all of a sudden, last week, I saw it! My episode was on the list! I was going to get to see it! I was finally going to be on TV! I even checked my TV guide to verify, and it was on that list too! I let my friends and family know. It came on yesterday at 6 am, 11 am, and 6 pm. I watched all of them. I wasn’t going to watch the one at 6 am, but my wife wanted to see it before work, so we got up early to watch. It’s weird seeing yourself on TV, most people are never filmed with those cameras.

     People are often surprised at how they sound when recorded: “Do I really sound like that?” I think the same kind of thing happens when your filmed for TV. You couldn’t tell I was wearing make-up, but I knew. I know I don’t look like that on the reg. It’s funny because on the day we shot, I did forget I was wearing make-up. Then, when I got home, and went into the restroom, and saw myself in the mirror, I was reminded. I did look different. But watching the show yesterday, you would not have known, and anyone who watched it would not know that I generally have a red hue. Shocker: I thought I did great! I spoke well, it seemed like I knew what I was talking about. I gave a lot of emotion. I thought it went great. Although, there are a couple of things worth mentioning: 1) I think the show itself is kind of stupid. When I did my little research, and then watching the show 3 times yesterday, it’s a dumb show. I found myself sitting there wondering who would want to watch this? Especially since it’s on a channel with all shows like that! There is enough draw for this type of entertainment that they have a whole channel!? I don’t get it. I had fun doing it, but I do not see the purpose of those types of shows. Even when I got the story synopsis, I thought the case was stupid. 2) They cut out a lot! I suppose they know their audience better than I do. We filmed straight through for 12 minutes. On the day of the shoot, they made it seem like that was amazing. In real life, on the TV, with the commercials, they probably only used 6 minutes. You couldn’t tell watching it. It seemed well done. I was just surprised at how tame they kept it. They didn’t use any of the parts that I thought made the episode special. Oh well, I’m not their audience.

No One Ever Overwonders

      It’s hard to believe that there are less than 8 weeks left of the year. 7 more of these and I’ll have made it the whole year! I am excited. Last night we were talking to some of the people from ASAP about when I took my comedy class. I couldn’t remember how long ago it was. After some brainstorming, and a quick look through some phones, we figured out it was May of 22. Just last year! It was hard for me to get my mind around. I started trying to do the math in my head, and it all worked out, it was just hard for me to believe. A lot has happened in this past year and a half. I’m not going to go on some tangent about everything that has gone on, I’m sure there’s one of those coming up anyway. It was just a strange moment for me to realize how long ago 18 months can feel. I think I usually feel the opposite. I come to realize that something happened a while ago, and I feel it was just like yesterday. This was not the case. Even as I sit here now, it feels like a long time ago. Oh well, our brains do some pretty crazy stuff. Perception is a trip. And usually people say things like: “Time flies when your having fun.” But I don’t hear the opposite of that mentioned very much. Not to say in anyway that I haven’t been having fun, but it does make me wonder. Wondering is practically a hobby of mine. I know a lot of times people tell you to try not to “overthink” things, but I think wondering is a bit different. Wonder is a lot more exciting. I think a lot too, which is how I feel I am able to provide a distinction. “I wonder what will happen if I do this,” whatever “this” is, is a lot more exciting than overanalyzing a hypothesis before beginning.

     The Calvin’s show last week was pretty fun. But, at the same time, it was kind of lame. The venue we played at is a thrift store by day, and a venue at night. We got there early, and got to look at some of the stuff. They have a lot of music gear. Apparently they give lessons there, so it’s kind of a thrift store, music school, venue. It’s also an all-ages venue, so, from what we heard, a lot of kids hang out there. It’s kind of like a hub for them. If it is, it was not that night. Which seemed odd, because it was a Friday night! That’s usually one of the “go out and do things” days. There weren’t any kids. Even the guy who put on the show didn’t bring his kids. I was stunned. Our guitar player brought a couple of his nephews, but that was it. My thinking was that kids must only show up there to see their friend’s bands, and not a bunch of people their father’s age. It felt weird. We thought the whole point of playing there was to expose ourselves to a bunch of young people. Wait, that didn’t come out right, but I’m leaving it in, because I think it’s funny. We wanted to get exposure to a new audience, but we ended up playing to the usual 15 or 20 people that we know. At one point I asked the crowd if anyone in there had just walked in randomly. 2 people raised their hand. They seemed to be having fun. But yeah, 2 people. Oh well, maybe that’s 2 new fans! There was also a $10 cover. My wife was hanging out in front for a little bit, and she said a lot of people were curious about what was going on inside, but they didn’t want to spend the $10. Which I get, I guess. I don’t know that I’d want to spend $10 on some mystery event.

     We played well, and the pictures look cool, but I don’t see us playing there again. Last night was kind of interesting. I went and did a stand-up performance for what was supposed to be a storytelling class graduation. The ASAP program, that I mention from time to time, teaches a lot of classes. I knew I got the invitation to perform because they needed extra people, but it was ridiculous. Apparently, the storytelling class only had 1 student. 1! There was practically nobody there. Well, maybe 15 or so, but most of them were affiliated with ASAP. I brought 3, the graduate brought 3, and there may have been about 3 others. The graduate, and his 2 teachers, performed their stories. It was interesting, in a way. The crowd was receptive, that was the best part. Then they had a woman read a story she had written in one of ASAP’s creative writing classes. Then they had a guy get up and do some very angry spoken word. It was pretty intense. Supposedly he’s listed as one of the top 25 best spoken word artists in America. I couldn’t really tell what he was saying, but he seemed like he meant it. There were a lot of syllables in his performance. I don’t even know if they offer a spoken word class, but he went for it. They were having trouble with the microphone. The storytellers didn’t seem to care. They were all very soft spoken, but I guess it kind of went with the big warehouse feel of the “theater.” The “comedians” seemed to be a little off put by the lack of a microphone, but they pushed on anyway. When we first got there, I was stoked to see a cordless mic. I like to move around on stage, and the cord can be a nuisance. But not having a mic at all? I liked it. I thought it was freeing in a way. I was unhindered. People responded very well. It was cool to perform with all of the different art forms.

Mid-Week Mix-up

      Wow, I swear before I sat down, I had all kinds of things to say. Then something happens when I see the blank screen, it all goes away. I usually try to think of something clever to start with, and I think that’s where it falls apart: trying to be clever. As I’m sure you can tell, it hasn’t really happened yet. I usually decide to just go for it anyway. Start, and something will happen. Perhaps next week, I’ll just jump right in, if I can remember that I thought that. So, there are a couple of things worth mentioning. I know I was telling you last week about my dilemma with Halloween. I decided not to say anything to my singer. It’s their business. I mentioned it to the Eruption guitarist, and he agreed, I should not get involved. The Calvins had practice last night, and Halloween didn’t even get brought up, so I imagine everything worked out fine, everyone seemed in a good mood. As for the party we attended, it was fun. The house was a little difficult to find, but we made it. I actually thought we were running late, but it turned out we were some of the first to arrive. Ironically, we just happen to be dressed like some of our friends! My wife and I dressed up like skeletons, and when we got there, another couple we know were dressed like skeletons too. There were jokes about the “memo.” It was fun, everyone was very welcoming. My guitar player, whom I met all of them through, did show up, so that was nice. Although we didn’t really seem to need the comfort, it was like we were with our friends. I guess we were. I don’t know why I still get hung up on them being “his” friends. Anyway, the party was fun. As for Halloween, we usually go somewhere to avoid trick-or-treaters, but this year we didn’t really feel like it, so I bought a bag of candy to pass out. We didn’t get a single trick-or treater! We’ve been dodging for no reason!

     The Calvins have a show tomorrow. I’m kind of stoked, but at the same time, we have a much bigger show on the 17^th, and I’m much more excited about that. That is the one that we need people to show up for. The show tomorrow is at an all-ages venue. Which can be cool, I’d love to get a young following, but screaming cuss words in front of children always seems a little weird. I suppose their parents must know what they may be exposed to. We’re playing with some friends of ours, who have teenagers, so it should be cool. Supposedly this place is a place that kids just love to hang out at. I guess it’s a thrift store by day, and a music school/venue at night. It should be fun. Supposedly they have a cool bass rig I can use. I love that. Traveling light is my favorite. I like my cabinet, don’t get me wrong. But, not having to carry anything is better. Although now I have to kind of re-think my tomorrow. I feel like I have to re-think a lot. My whole week is out of sorts. It’s weird how that can happen. The Calvins usually practice on Tuesday, but this week it was yesterday. So, all morning I’ve been confused as to what day it is. It feels “off.” Then, they changed our trash day. We didn’t even get notice! Last week we didn’t even get our trash out on time because we had no idea. How do you not tell anyone!? So, last night, I noticed other people putting their trash out. I guess they got the “memo.” I thought I’d get to it later today, but then I heard the trash truck, so I rushed to get it all out. Turns out it was only recycling, we’ll see what happens later. Trash day used to be Friday, so again, I’m like: “What day is it?” Now, Eruption practice has been cancelled, and I have to think of something for dinner, on a Thursday! What the…

     I’m sure I’ll come up with something. I often buy little things just in case such a situation arises. And now it has! But I have to think about it, jeez. At least I have time. Kind of! Another interesting thing occurred recently. I had notice that the Armed Services Art Partnership, which I thought I was a part of, was having another comedy class graduation, and again I was not invited. I was a little butt hurt, I won’t lie. They did send me a personal invite to perform tonight, which I was kind of happy about. But it’s in North County, and I was supposed to have band practice. When I got that invite, I was stoked. However, right after that, I noticed the graduation gig. I was like: “What the…” I had this whole discussion in my head about how left out I feel, and that we’re not really a “community.” Which is what they keep trying to sell it as. Maybe I’d be more in their thoughts if I went to more of their shows. But North County is kind of far. And then, within a day or two of this imagining of mine, I got an email. It came from the Director of ASAP, asking me if I would help out with one of their other graduations. They teach all kinds of classes, and they are finishing up a storytelling class. Apparently, it’s a pretty small class, and they need other people to try to help fill up the night. In a way, I kind of felt that my thoughts were heard. It seemed such strange timing that I was just wondering why I don’t get asked to perform at a major function, and then “boom,” I get asked. It’s not at a comedy club, but that’s okay. I’ve always felt more like a storyteller comic anyway, so I may fit right in. I just hope I don’t have to go before, or after, someone with a sad story, awkward! But now I have to write some new material! It’s next Wednesday!

To Say, Or Not To Say

      Well, perhaps I should have kept the Disneyland story for this week. An uneventful week has led me to sit here staring at a blank screen again. But, as I thought, Disneyland is no longer fresh enough in my mind to extrapolate much from it. The details are fading. I’m not sure if waiting until today would have made any difference. It seemed like we picked the ideal day to go. It was hot, unusually hot for October, but not too hot. I only found myself sweating a couple of times, but that was only when we were in direct sun for an extended period of time. Even then, I attribute it mostly to wearing my hat. I definitely didn’t want my bald head getting direct sun exposure. The crowd wasn’t bad either. I mean, walking around, it seemed kind of crowded, but we didn’t have to wait very long for any of the rides. I think 30 minutes was the longest we waited for anything, and we got on everything. Well, everything we wanted to. Space Mountain was closed, so that doesn’t count. Matterhorn closed just as we were about to get in line, which was kind of a bummer, but I have no feeling of missing out. We actually had some good food. I’m not sure that theme parks are really known for their “good” food, but we did have some delicious bites. We got some junk too, but I was impressed with the food we got in Star Wars land. The over-all experience wasn’t that bad, it just seemed to have lost its magic for me. Every ride we got on, I was overwhelmed by how much I thought everything was for children. I know it’s for children, but it really struck me as to how much it is for children. I often found myself wondering: “Why would adults want to do this?” There was a lot of eye-candy. But at the same time, spandex is not a right! Look in a mirror!

     Okay, sorry, that may have come off kind of rude. But seriously, just because you can put it on, doesn’t mean you should wear it. Speaking of being rude, I’m not sure if I should change the names of my next bit. I’m still on the fence as to whether I’m telling too much, at certain times. Part of me feels that I’m not doing any harm, but the other part of me feels that people might not want their drama posted online. And then yet another part of me feels that there is probably no actual way that anyone who’s involved will ever see this. So here I sit, wondering if it even matters who it’s actually about. After some thought, and a few deleted sentences, I realized the story won’t make sense without the truth. The Calvin’s singer is dating a younger woman. They seem very happy. I like them both quite a bit. They’ve been dating for a while. There’s a 20-year age gap. They don’t seem to mind, so it’s none of my business. However, she, being much younger, still has time for, and is probably going to want, marriage and children. He is not. They’ve discussed it, I’m certain he’s not leading her on. I am not sure, however, that she’s being completely honest with herself. Sometimes a person can fool themselves into thinking they’re fine without what they really want. In my experience that often does not go well. At the party a couple of weeks ago, some of us were kind of talking about Halloween. I’m not really sure what she was talking about, but all of a sudden, she asked my wife and I to not let the singer cancel band practice for Halloween. I thought it wouldn’t happen because we have a gig on the 3^rd. We need to practice. However, this week he said he wants to cancel! So now I’m stuck in a situation where I don’t know what to do.

     My loyalty is to him. If he doesn’t want practice, so be it. She may have been drunk. I think she has this whole trick-or-treat thing going on with her nieces. And I think maybe she didn’t want him to feel obligated, since it’s not really his thing. I think he’s probably just trying to be supportive, and spend time with her. So, I don’t think there’s any true “drama” going on, it’s just a weird thing. Now I don’t know if I should tell him what she said, or stay the hell out of it. Part of me feels that if he “plays along” too much, she might get the wrong idea. He is a nice guy. It’s none of my business. She was probably just trying to give him an out, even though she probably would like him to be there. I don’t know. I’m not saying anything. This is part of the problem with having friends, not getting entangled in each other’s drama. It seems like too often it’s complicated not to get drawn in. Especially when you’re a curious person like me. Speaking of friends, this weekend we’re going to a different friend’s Halloween party. We got invited to two. One at the home of someone we just recently met, and one at the home of a family that we go camping with. The first one is going to be a punk rock show, with the lady from Whatever68 Radio. I thought that would be fun. Hear some live music and get to mingle with other people from the scene. But then, the wife of the family friends texted my wife specifically, and asked if we would come. That kind of sealed the deal. We’ve never accepted an invite to any event held by our camping friends, other than camping. The fact that she reached out personally, as opposed to a Facebook invite, made it seem more touching, like perhaps they really would like us to come. This ought to be an adventure.

What Will Hindsight Bring Us Next?

      Friday! I’m glad I was able to find some time to squeeze this in. It’s so close to the end of the year, I’d hate to miss one now. I figured I’d have time today, but, you never know, things come up all the time. Also, part of an ulterior motive, I went to Disneyland yesterday, and wanted to be able to write about it. Sometimes when I think: “Oh, I’ll just write about that next week,” I notice I don’t have the same engagement as I did the week prior. Sometimes I think it gives me time for some perspective. Hindsight Period, we call it. Looking back can often cause you to see, or feel, things about an event that you may not have picked up on initially. That’s why they say: “Hindsight is 20/20,” because you can always see clearer once the event has passed. It’s an idea we take very seriously in our household, so I’m sure it’ll be coming up again. But, I didn’t want to wait a week, trying to remember anything I may have wanted to tell you. As it turns out, there’s not that much to tell you about anyway, so I’m not sure it would have mattered. If I reflect on anything over the next week, I’ll be sure to let you know. I’ll get to Disneyland in a little bit, but there are a couple of nuggets I feel I need to get to first. I know I often struggle with chronicling the mundane events of my life, and whether or not this should be used as a way of sharing little spots of wisdom I’ve gained, as opposed to my calendar in written form. But, it’s been becoming clear to me that the head space I’m in when these events happen, color what thoughts I have. What’s going on in my life has direct impact on what I’m thinking of at the time. So, in those instances, knowing what I’m going through at the time, is essential if I, or you, should wish to have more understanding.

     I’m not sure if I told you, but both my bands, the Eruption, and the Calvins, were scheduled to play a mutual friend’s birthday party last Saturday. He was turning 50, he wanted it to be a big deal, which I get. Last Thursday night was supposed to be Eruption practice. The guitar player and I got to practice a little early. We were standing around, he was having a smoke, and we were talking about shitty drivers. He recently started a new job, down in Chula Vista. It’s about a 20–30-minute drive from where he lives, even without much traffic. We were talking about traffic patterns in different areas, and how frustrating it can be, when all of a sudden, my phone rang. It was our drummer, he was on the side of the road, and had just been involved in an accident. My mind was blown! He was okay, but he wasn’t going to make it to practice, and didn’t think he was going to be able to play the birthday party. His car was crumpled, and at that point, he was not sure about the condition of his drums, which were in the car. Over the course of the next few days, we learned his car was totaled, his drums were okay, but he has whiplash, and is out for a while. Bummer. We did not play the party, but the Calvins did. It was fun. Not really the crowd we were expecting, but it was a cool setting, and a great vibe. Sometimes house parties with punk bands attract cops, but that was not the case. We played in the afternoon, so it was a little hot, but we did good. In the videos, we sounded great, it just looked like we were playing to no one. We were out of there by 7. Our drummer was concerned that day because his dog was at the hospital, and they weren’t sure if it was going to make it. He was optimistic, but we could tell his mind was other places.

     The next day my wife and I had a wedding to go to. We don’t really know the person that well, but she seems to really like my wife, so we went. I think we only knew 5 other people there. The location was beautiful, the food was good, there was an open bar, and we had a good time. Nothing religious, it was just a nice, short, sweet ceremony, and then a party. There were a lot of douchey people there, I don’t think we’ll be making it far into that friend group. Tuesday band practice got cancelled. Apparently the dog had to go back to the hospital. The family was very concerned at this point. I’m not even really sure what was wrong with the dog, some kind of stomach problem. I just know he did express some concern about spending a lot of money if the dog was going to pass anyway. Maybe I should have written this all out before Disneyland! We drove up to Anaheim Wednesday night. We wanted to be able to get to the park first thing. Our daughter really wanted to go. She had won some tickets at work, and for whatever reason, was not able to find anyone to go with her. She asked us. I thought it was sweet, but every time I go to Disneyland, I feel like I’ve been there for the last time. It is not my jam anymore. But it meant a lot to her. She even paid! For my ticket, and the hotel room. I was stunned, and there was no way I could say “no.” I was glad to spend time with her. The two of them were as giddy as school children. The 3 of us hadn’t hung out in a while. She seemed to really need, and appreciate, it. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of: “This place is not really for adults.” It was our first time seeing The Galaxies Edge, the Star Wars themed land. That was cool, I felt like a little kid for a bit, they did a good job. But over-all, I think I’ve been to Disneyland for the last time. I don’t fit in the rides, I don’t like lines, heat, or children, and I’d rather do other things. While at the park yesterday, I received word that our drummer’s dog had gone on to her great reward. You’ll be missed Roxy. Wow, what a week! Now I need to recover.

Trimming Another Man's Bush

      Sometimes I feel like I should put more thought into what I’m going to write on here. After all, it is called Thoughts On Life. But then so many times I think I do know what I’m going to write about, and then I go on for three paragraphs about something I had no intention of going on about. That in turn makes me think that whatever I write, about the goings on of my life, are thoughts on life, so it still applies. I mostly only feel that I should put more thought in, when I’m sitting here looking at a blank screen, wondering what I’m going to say. Then once I get started, I’m on my way, and it either is going to come out eloquent, or rambling. I always hope for eloquent, but I read all of these, and I know that’s not always the case. I would hope to get better. I practice quite a bit. And, having stayed on track doing this for almost an entire year now, it would seem like I’d be getting better at maintaining at least a small little mental plan for what I have to say. But that doesn’t always happen. Or, perhaps I don’t know what I have to say until I start. Sometimes what comes out is a surprise to me. Often those are the ones I get most from, so maybe that’s why I don’t plan so much. I want there to be an air of spontaneity, this is not rehearsed, this is live. I often find when I try to go back and figure out what I was going to say, that I lose my concentration. Which is a bit of a bummer, because then I have to start again. And I fear that those are the times I can feel that it starts and stops, instead of having a smoothness to it. I also wish I could refrain from caring about the corrections Word thinks I should make. The little error lines need fixed.

     I could go back and fix them later, but they call to me like a Siren. Often times, I’ll go back to make a correction, and lose my whole train of thought. That is unpleasant. Especially when I think I’m on a good one. Some of us, I guess, just feel the need to fix things. Like, for example, my neighbor. I’ve been living next to him and his wife for 3 and a half years. We have a relatively large, viny type plant on the border of our property. It often yields these bright yellow flowers, which my wife and I love. The viny plant itself, I’m not in love with. It gets out of control sometimes, and makes it difficult to get in, or out, of our car, since it is basically the wall to our carport. So, every couple of months I have to take it down. Most of the yellow flowers grow out towards the front of our home, and doesn’t impede anyone or anything, so I let it go while the flowers are still blooming, and take it down when they’re dormant. I thought they’d be dormant soon. Apparently, they were bothering my neighbor. Technically, I think the plant is on my side. We have a fence between yards, and the plant is on my side, however, there is no doubt that it goes on to their side. I would obviously have no problem with them cutting the plant that is on their side. It is, after all, a viny plant. It was there when we moved in, and I’m not sure what arrangement they had with the previous owner, but it has never come up until now. I heard a strange noise yesterday, and when I looked out to see what it was, my neighbor was cutting down all the yellow flowers growing out towards the road. He had some electric tool, and was just mowing them, so that they didn’t stick out past the fence. But he even cut the ones that were sticking out in front of my yard!

     I thought that was so bizarre. By the time I knew what was going on, it was too late to do anything about it. I want to be a friendly neighbor, so I didn’t really want to confront him about it, he’s an older guy, and I don’t really care. I just thought it was weird. He almost kind of did me a favor, because I was going to do it in a couple of weeks anyway, but still. No conversation?! How do you just decide to cut down someone else’s bush?! My wife and I really liked seeing those flowers when we came around the corner. We’ve got this pop of color that no one else has, and for this guy to take that away is just astonishing. Plus, why now? 3 and a half years and nothing like this has ever happened. I’m dying to know. Well, not dying, but terribly curious. It seems so random. Plus, we thought they looked good! It made us happy! It’s so strange. I don’t want to get the HOA involved. I don’t want to start a conflict. But I just can’t see: A) How this was bothering him, and B) What makes him think he has the right to cut back my side? Maybe it had been digging at him for years, and he had finally had enough. I don’t know. I can’t wrap my mind around it. We are usually friendly. We wave and stuff. Although there was this time, I thought he was tossing his cigarettes over into my carport. I was about to have a confrontation that time. I found a cigarette butt on top of my car! With the ash trail, you could clearly tell where it came from. But at that time, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he had a gardener over that did it. I didn’t want to get into his face, if it could have been another explanation. But now seriously: WTF?

That's Why We Have A Spare

      My glasses broke. I have them taped together with a skewer for support. It’s the left arm, where it attaches to the actual frame. It feels weird to have them on. It’s been a couple of weeks now. I had them together with just a piece of tape, but today, that no longer worked. I only really need them for working on the computer. I probably should use them any time I read, but I usually have them near my laptop, and am often too lazy to go get them. But working without them is also not good. So, I’m dealing with it. However, it is getting to the point that I’m going to have to do something about it. I know there are some cheap deals out there for glasses. But these are really nice. Progressives. I have some “beaters” I keep with me when I’m on the go. They only help if I’m reading something right in front of me, like a menu or something. If I look up while wearing those, it’s worse than my regular vision. That’s why I like the progressives, I can look up and see good too. Although, walking around wearing them is a little odd. Different things in different focus makes navigating a bit troubling. I usually take them off if I need to move around. I thought my new reinforcement would help, but this is the second time I’m using them today, and I can already tell, it’s not going to last very long. It wouldn’t usually be that big of a deal, but we just had to get our car fixed, with another one still needing repair, plus our camping trip, not to mention our anniversary a couple of weeks ago, we’ve been spending a bit of cash recently, and I feel it pushes new glasses to the bottom of the pile. I can use my “beaters” if it gets down to it. Although I do have concern that using them more often may cause them to no longer function the way they once did.

     Our camping trip was pretty cool. We got up there last Thursday evening. We went to San Clemente state park. We go there every year. Sometimes twice. It’s a little over an hour from where we live. Usually that hour is no big deal, but taking that trip in a car you don’t have much confidence in makes it sketchy. I was a nervous wreck most of the trip. I really got nervous when we were in stop and go traffic. I don’t want to break down in the middle of the road. Especially when it’s “rush” hour traffic. As we got closer to our destination, I began to calm down, and realize that we were going to make it. It really didn’t give me any trouble. I realized I may have been overacting. It’s sometimes hard to tell. That car has a Tire Pressure Light that’s always on, and there’s no problem with the tire pressure. I had to remove all of the interior lights, because the computer thinks one of the doors keeps opening. It would kill my battery because the interior lights would be on all the time. So, it’s hard to tell if these problems are real or not. I recently took it to my mechanic, and he referred me to a transmission specialist. That made me nervous. I had the transmission replaced 6 or so years ago, so I’m hoping it’s not a big deal. It’s just difficult to try to figure out the logistics of getting cars where they need to be while maintaining a fairly full schedule. So, I risked it. And, after getting there and back safely, I am a lot less nervous now. On the way home my nervousness was already down quite a bit. No traffic helped. We got my wife’s car to the shop this week, and so I’m finally starting to feel like we’re getting control over some of these things. Which is nice. I don’t like being nervous all the time. I’m trying to live a peaceful existence.

     Camping was a little strange at first. As mentioned, we got up there on Thursday evening. My guitar player, who introduced us to the group, didn’t get there until Friday afternoon. We’ve been camping with these people for about 15 years, and it still felt kind of weird without our friend-in-common there. I’m not sure if anyone else felt that way. Most of them have been friends since high school. I did not feel like we were treated differently, so it all might be in my head. Actually, now that I think about it, I had some conversations that might not have been had if my guitar player was there. Not really “because” of him, but since he’s the friend-in-common, and he’s an outgoing person, he’s often a focal point. The RV people usually spend their time in the RV, so in a way, it was kind of mellow. We had good weather Friday, but Saturday things got nuts. Winds so hard we had to take the pop-ups down. Which kind of sucked because it was raining too! No shelter! The RV people were fine, but we didn’t get one invite. I know they’re kind of small, and there were a lot of us, but it seemed strange to not be offered refuge. Saturday was also the day for our big potluck, so the storm made us nervous whether it would even happen or not. I’m not sure if I told you or not, but this year’s theme was Souplantation. Everyone has been missing them since they shut down, so they wanted to re-create it for our trip. At first, I thought the idea was a little lame. Camping is about grilling! But there were so many cool things to put on my salad, it really was like I was at Souplantation! Someone made Clam Chowder, and I made Chicken Tortilla Soup. I’m not bragging, but mine vanished! It was delicious. And people let me know. My whiskey was also a big hit. People were loving it. I might have to make more for people. Yay, my creativity is paying off!

7% Chance Of Precipitation

      Getting this done a little early this week. Our annual camping trip is this weekend. We’re leaving Thursday afternoon, and won’t be back until Sunday afternoon. Tomorrow and Thursday have the chance to be busy days for me, so I thought I’d get this out of the way, while I don’t have much to do. I still had to fight it though. Even though I don’t really have anything going on today, I still wanted to push it. I don’t know why. Oh well, the urge to make sure I don’t miss a week is stronger than my urge to have it done on a particular day. So, here I sit on a Tuesday, trying to think of what to write. It is a little strange, in a cool way, that I have band practice tonight. Usually I do this on Thursday, which is also a band practice night. So, something about this feels regular, because I’m doing this before band practice. I suppose I should fill you in about last Thursday. My nerves were relaxed last Thursday as soon as I walked up to band practice. The guitar player and I hugged it out. We don’t normally do that. It felt as though we both had a sense that the episode was behind us. He also made a comment about having taken what I said to heart, and he’s been thinking about his attentiveness. It really helped me realize that he did hear what I had said. I was sorry about the way that it came out, but I was telling the truth. He saw that. We had a really good practice. We were able to discuss the parts more clearly, and get them to where they should be. The other two in our band don’t know about the episode, at least I don’t think so, and it’s probably best that no one else got involved. It’s hard enough when two people are having a communication dilemma, adding more emotions, and extra voices, would be like adding extra fuel.

     Our gig was awesome! I was a little nervous initially because it started raining Friday afternoon. The news said it would pass by showtime, but you can never really tell. We were going to be playing on a patio, outside, so rain would not necessarily work for us. It was getting close to having to decide, and then I got an email from the venue, asking if we wanted to cancel, or take our chances, because there would be no show if it rained. I contacted my bandmates, and the other band, to see what the consensus was. We were all a bit nervous, but were willing to take the risk. And I’m glad we did. It was questionable even as we were setting up! I couldn’t really relax until it was all over. I couldn’t believe the turn out we got. Even though it may have rained, we still got a bunch of people to show up! It was so rewarding. I think we’re playing something people would like. I know we all like it. It can’t just be us. I know what we’re doing is not for everyone, but one of my core beliefs is that if I like it, other people will probably like it too. And sometimes it feels like they do. I know we’re not going to be rich and famous, but the idea that we may be putting out a product that people enjoy is enough. Sometimes more than enough. Looking out, and realizing that all of these people came to see us, and hear what we’re doing, feels good. Even when there’s a chance of rain! The other aspect which I can see is that perhaps it’s just a chance for our friends to see each other. And I’m okay with that too. Maybe we’re just tolerable, and the actual draw is our friends. I don’t know that I’d care that much, because we’re still creating an environment that people want to be a part of. And it provides the opportunity to show that to others.

     It’s very comforting to hear from people, that we don’t know, how much they appreciated the performance. People generally prefer music they know. We only usually play one cover. And to see the look on their faces when they “have to tell us” how much they enjoyed it says everything. It is like a breath of fresh air for them to see a band they know nothing about, and like it! That’s the shiz. The other band did not have the same effect. The singer from my punk band was there, and said he hadn’t heard a band that bad in a while. Ouch! A lot of people mentioned they didn’t like them. And, a lot of people left. So, I guess I won’t be inviting them back. I’ll take chances, I don’t care. I like to give people a shot. I had seen their bass player at like 3 of our shows, just trying to get an “in.” So, I gave them a shot. Selfishly, it kind of makes us look better if people are there for us. I thought they’d have a draw, but they really didn’t. By about halfway through their set there were only about 7 of us paying any attention. Oh well. They didn’t have a drummer. That didn’t sit well with a lot of people. They played to a drum track, so there was a beat, but people did not seem to like the absence of a drummer. I guess you never know. I was a little surprised that they play out. But hey, we had fun, we accomplished something, and hopefully got a few more people to like us. I wrote the venue back today, hoping we can set something up again a few months from now. I hope we get a response. They did ask us to turn down though, which I hope doesn’t do anything to our chances. We did turn down. I record every performance, and after we turned down, the recording sounded much better, so it worked in our favor! Now it’s time to go not think about any of it.

The Ugly Side Of Pet Peeves

      I’m a little nervous about practice tonight. I’m excited it’s happening. We have a gig tomorrow, and it feels necessary. The drummer doesn’t really like playing 2 days in a row, but I think it will be helpful. I know our keyboard player will find it helpful. The reason I’m nervous is because last week the guitar player and I got into it a little bit. It was the first time we’ve ever really had an issue. 20 years, and only one blow-up, I think that’s good. But that doesn't make me feel any better about my behavior. We talked the next day, once we were calm, and it seemed like everything was fine, but you still never know. Plus, he decided to drive himself to practice today. I’ve been taking him to practice for years, but he’s driving today. He wants to play with his gear, so I get it, it’s easier to fit his gear in his own SUV. Usually, we practice with the gear provided by the rehearsal studio. It’s okay for working on parts, but you want to make sure your gear is dialed in for the show, so, as mentioned, I get it. I really hope this tiff doesn’t linger. I don’t think it will. I know I’m not still upset. But I can be a bit of a dick when it comes down to it, and having never seen that side of me before, it might stay a while for him. I hope not. It’s really kind of strange that it happened on that day. That was the only day that none of us smoked any weed before practice! I stopped drinking at practice a while ago, and the drummer stopped even farther back than that. But it’s never really been an issue. I noticed smoking messes with my vocal cords, so I recently stopped doing that too. The guitar player just got a new job, so he stopped too. The drummer just got over covid, so he stopped too. And the keyboard player never really smoked that much anyway.

     I think the drama with my vehicle already had me riled up. The guitar player mentioned that it had been his first week at his new job, so he was a little on edge as well. He used to have a pretty good “work at home” job, and for the first time since the pandemic, he has to go to an office every day. That does not make him happy. I know he’s happy to be employed, I know he feels this job was a godsend, but his life has been altered, and it takes all of us a while to deal with life alteration. The thing that frustrated me the most is that he hit on like three nerves at the same time, having no awareness that it had happened, and we were basically upset by 2 different things. I was trying to talk to the keyboard player about a part in a song. But realistically, I was talking about a grander scheme of how our songs should go in general. While I was expressing myself to another person, about something I care deeply about, the guitar player starts playing. At full volume. He knows we were talking. He knows we weren’t done talking. Now in the music world, this is something that happens from time to time. For some reason, there are certain people who don’t seem to realize that people can’t hear each other when someone is making a lot of loud noise. I find it terribly rude, and it is a major pet peeve of mine. I attribute it to lack of awareness, and worse, lack of care. I basically see it as a very loud “SHUT UP!” I also find it to be a character flaw, since most of the people who do this, aren’t very good listeners anyway. Knowing this is a thing, I can usually handle it. But then, he started to contradict what I was saying. I was already talking to someone who was confused, so I didn’t see how making a lot of noise, and then contradicting me, was helpful.

     People who would rather talk than listen, are another peeve of mine. At least let me finish what I’m saying! I can’t stand when people think they know what I’m going to say. Every time it’s happened, I ask the other person: “Okay, fine, what was I going to say?” They never get it right! Ever. I do my best to not say things that don’t need said. If I’m saying it, it’s because I don’t think the other person already knows what I’m going to say. So, he got upset because he thought I was unwilling to have him give input. He went into this whole thing about “having written the song, so he should have the say.” I went into this whole thing about “we’re in a band and should communicate better with each other to make the songs better.” At the time it seemed like it was over, and I felt like I calmly handled myself. Then when we got in the car on the way home, he brought it back up. And not just brought it up, he started in on me about how he’s never stood up for himself, and when he finally did, I squashed it. And how it’s not always about “me, me, me.” That is when I lost it. My third nerve is when people try to tell me what I’m upset about. It’s usually the same type of people that think they can finish your sentence. He was accusing me of being upset because he had a different opinion. But I was upset because my opinion was never even heard! And then, while we were trying to have a discussion about our communication, he continued to not get what I was saying. Every time he tried to derail the conversation, I got a little more frustrated, and a little bit louder. So, he ended up seeing my ugly side. I’m not proud of it, but it happened. And now we are going to go and try to solve the same problem again.

2 Weeks Of Nothing

         Well, here I am sitting here wondering what to write. The first thing that pops into mind is to give the “resolution” to what I was so irritated about last week. The car thing did not go well. Well, I got the car back, so I guess that’s a positive, but still, it was very unfulfilling. At this point, I don’t even remember how much I got into it with you. I hope to not recap the entire ordeal. I did get a call from the service department last Thursday. I had left a pretty disgruntled message for my “service advisor.” I got a call from someone else, which led me to believe they were at least checking their messages. The person on the other end of the phone told me that they were sorry, that they had no idea what was going on with my vehicle, and that they were not able to help me in any way. I was livid! Was I supposed to be glad that I was at least contacted? In a way it made it worse, because now I was certain that my other messages had been heard, and I was ignored. How do you treat people like this? Especially since I had the feeling that they were hoping I’d pay for the $4,000 in repairs they said needed made. Why would I go through that expense with people who care so little about their clients!? It didn’t make any sense. It still doesn’t make any sense. Friday morning, I went through their website and got the number for the Service Manager. His inbox was full, and no longer accepting messages. Typical! The site had his email address, so I sent him my ploy. I got nothing! Friday came and went, the weekend came and went, and still I heard nothing. It was my anniversary weekend too! The last thing I wanted to be doing on our weekend was thinking about our “good” car being held hostage, but alas, that is what ended up happening.

     We still had a good time. This year we decided to do a staycation up in Oceanside. I used to deliver to a few places up there, and for years have been thinking it would be fun to go up there and try a few of the places I had seen. We got a hotel, and just checked out a city we don’t spend that much time in. Dinner was delicious. We went to a place called Wrench and Rodent. I know, it sounds like a weird name for a restaurant. I thought so from the moment I heard of it, but something about it intrigued me. Especially since it’s a sushi joint! It was literally the best sushi I’ve ever had. One of the rolls actually got me choked up a little bit. There was some flavor in there that gave me the chills, and caused me to tear up a little. It was amazing. We had this smoked Opah belly that was literally the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. I was in awe! I don’t know that we stopped smiling the entire time we were there. It’s not really a “fancy” place, but we were in a very happy place. Which is exactly what we needed. I actually stopped thinking about the car for an hour or so. Not only did I have concern for the vehicle in the shop, but the vehicle we took to Oceanside is not running the best either. Both of our vehicles are older. The one in the shop is 2012. The one we took to Oceanside is 2007! It runs okay, but it sometimes has its issues. It’s unfortunate that both of our vehicles are in need of repair at the same time. When it rains it pours. So, not only was I worried about the car in the shop, but I was also worried about the car I was driving! Worry, on top of worry, is not how I want to be going about my life. Obviously.

     We stopped for brunch at Draft Republic on Sunday. Opening football Sunday?! We’re lucky we got in. Luckily, we got there early enough that it wasn’t too bad yet. By the time we left, it was packed. It was loud in there. Not relaxing at all. Plus, they had all the tv’s on one wall side by side, in a large 9 panel grid. I thought it made it confusing. I prefer turning my head to watch other tv’s, with them so close together, I couldn’t concentrate. My wife likes football too, quite a bit, so I don’t want you to think she was being ignored. It’s something we enjoy together. The menu looked great, but the food was okay. I doubt I’ll go back. Although, I will say, the first time I went to Buffalo Wild Wings, I didn’t have fun either. So, who knows. Anyway, our anniversary weekend was great. However, Monday morning, I tried the Ford online chat to see if I could get some help. They gave me the number to a manager. I left a message, and he called me back! Progress! I explained my issue, he said he’d forward it, and a few minutes later, the Service Manager called me! Progress! I told him my woes, trying to be as respectful as possible, but as I’ve heard, I can be a little short on the sugar. He said it wasn’t the TCM, he didn’t know what happened, and my car was ready for pick up. I had to arrange it. And funnily, about 3 hours later, my “service advisor” called to say that my car was ready, and that his boss told him, there would be no charge. I was stunned. Then, when I went to get my car, it was not clean. They always ask you if you want it cleaned. I had said “yes,” but they hadn’t washed it. I was not going to argue, at that point I never wanted to see them again. But it made me wonder, if my service was done, why not the whole thing. Then later on, when I scrutinized the paperwork, I noticed, on item line 23, it was in black and white: they were not ever able to get to the TCM diagnosis. They had my car for 2 weeks and did nothing! I knew it.

Dealing With The Dealership

      I am in a bit of a mood today. On one hand, it’s opening night for football. Which is exciting. I adore football season. On the other hand, my car has been in the shop for over a week! I feel like I’m getting the run around. I feel like my “service advisor” is trying to over-charge me. It all started a couple of weeks ago when the Calvins played in Long Beach. Which was an awesome show by the way. I don’t know if I ever got to tell you, but it was epic! We got to see a couple of really good bands, and play in front of some pretty cool people. The venue was definitely the kind of place we would hang out at if we lived up there. Now that I think about it, the car trouble probably started long before that. Even when we first bought it, there was some kind of hang up on getting the tags because of some smog concerns. They never told us what it was, but we ended up getting the registration, and thought it was all good. However, there were moments of concern. It drove a little differently than we had experienced. We were used to a 6-cylinder SUV, and this was a small economy car, so we thought it was just a different “feel.” Looking at the paperwork, we noticed on the Carfax report that there were a few outstanding recalls that had never been fixed. We were notified that we could take it to Ford, and they would handle it. Most of the recall fixes had “expired,” so we didn’t really get much out of it. The “service advisor” at that time told me that it was fine, and that what we were experiencing was just a different type of engine, and that we would get used to it. But, the car would randomly turn off, or sputter out. For some reason it didn’t like going slow. It would die in stop and go traffic! I don’t think that’s something we can be expected to get used to.

     The “check engine” light would come on sometimes. I eventually took it to my new mechanic. They cleaned some kind of airflow sensor, and it worked like a charm. We were glad it was an easy fix. No problems for a while. We thought it was all good. Then after about a year, the light came on again. We took it back to the mechanic and he said it was good, it was a code about the same sensor that they had just cleaned, and as long as the car was running fine, he recommended we wait to “fix” the problem until we needed a smog check. That struck me as odd. A mechanic saying a problem doesn’t need fixed. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to save me some money, or had some weird kind of customer loyalty scam. Either way, I trusted him, and we continued on our way. We weren’t having any trouble, it’s just a little nerve-racking to have the “check engine” light on all the time. I’m not sure if it’s going to burn out, plus we have no idea if another problem arises, because the light is always on. At this point, the only real problem that we were having with the car was that every once in a while, when it was trying to get up to gear, it would sputter a little, like it was having trouble changing gears. It wasn’t usual, but it was noticeable. Not too worrisome, but a thought in the back of the mind. Then we received this letter from Ford, notifying us that an extended warranty had been issued for our vehicle because the TCM can go bad. We had until June of 25 to get it fixed, if we were having some specific problems. I thought about taking it in, but Susan’s sisters were in town, and there was the whole memorial thing, so we waited until it was all over, in case something like this happened. Which now it unfortunately has.

     Our other car isn’t any better. It’s older, and has its own set of problems going on. So, it’s not the most reliable either. The one currently in the shop is our “good” one! My music gear fits better in our SUV, but because our car gets better gas mileage, we decided to take it to Long Beach. We got up there no problem. After our gig, we went to take the gear back to the hotel room. The car wouldn’t start. I looked under the hood, as if I’d know what the problem was. The ground cable on the battery was loose. I twisted it a little, and the car started right up. But the car wouldn’t go over 30. I crept through a mall parking lot to get back to the hotel. I figured we deal with it in the morning. We had a lot going on. We Ubered back to the party. The next day the car was working fine. I don’t know what the heck was going on, but I bought a wrench to tighten up the cable, and we made our way back home. It was the day of the hurricane, and I was a nervous wreck. It was pouring rain, and every little bump on the road made me afraid we’d get stranded. I did not want to be broken down on the side of the freeway in a hurricane. But I kept pushing through, and we made it. The next day I made the appointment at Ford to get it looked at. Nothing was available until Wednesday. The car was acting a little weird, so we were glad to have made it to the dealer, thinking all of our troubles were in the past. That was last Wednesday! I was told: “a day or 2 for diagnosis.” That was last Wednesday! I finally talked to my “service advisor” on Tuesday, and they hadn’t even checked the TCM yet. Now they’re trying to charge me for checking all of this other stuff, that I never asked for, and I can’t even get them on the phone! Not happy.

Remembering An Old Friend

      Here we are, the last day of August, the precipice of September. Things are not slowing down. I thought they would. At least for a little bit. But they are not. Tonight, a bunch of us are going to the car show in La Mesa. It’s the last one of the season. It’s kind of cool. There’s a band we all kind of like called The Farmers. They used to be The Beat Farmers back in the 80’s, but now, due to line-up changes, they’re just The Farmers. A friend of ours died 7 years ago. A lot of us have not seen each other since his passing, which is why someone decided to organize this event. It’ll be good to see everyone again. I’m not actually sure how many people will be there who I don’t see on a regular basis. It’s kind of a weird thing because a lot of us met each other due to this person. His name was Joe, he owned a bar in La Mesa called Joe n’ Andy’s. A lot of us started hanging out there when we were 21. I’ll let you do the math. Pretty much every single person I know, I know because of Joe. A lot of the people I’m talking about went to school together. There are 2 main high schools in La Mesa, and pretty much both laid claim to the bar. Luckily people put away their childish high school drama, so there weren’t any “rivalry” issues. Joe was so nice, and really good at personal relations. He would introduce people to each other, and generally cared about people. Everyone loved him. Some of us spent most of our adult life in and out of that bar. When he passed, I was a little concerned that I would no longer have a “friend group,” because he was the kingpin of the whole thing. The fact that we all still get together is priceless to me. It was because of that guy, and that bar, and those people, that my life has gone in the direction that it has.

     I first heard about the bar because my friend’s band was playing there. I had never even heard of La Mesa. I fell in love instantly. It was such a small town, with cobblestone crosswalks, and old brick buildings, it looked like something out of a painting. My friend Will and I used to hang out at this bar in a different part of San Diego, and when that place sold, we picked Joe n’ Andy’s for our new hang out. We used to get together every Tuesday. And it seemed like perfect timing, because we had just found this place, as our other place was closing, it was cosmic. We started to get to know people, Joe introduced us to a lot of people. Our band started playing there regularly. Then when it came time for me to buy a house, I logically decided to move to this town I had fallen in love with. Will followed. We started making a lot of friends. But, sometimes in the bar-scene, it’s difficult to know who your “friends” are, verses people who just hang out where you hang out. As we all got older it became more clear. Some people got their lives together and stopped hanging out as much. But we’d still see each other at Fight Nights and other such events. So, the bonds were still there. And I realize now that I’m writing this, and I’ve had this thought before, that I probably wouldn’t have made all of those connections without Will. I am not that outgoing. He was, and probably still is, I don’t know because it’s been 20 years since we’ve spoken. He moved across the country, and we just kind of lost contact. I got lucky because I met my wife a month after Will moved. Now she’s my outgoing person, so the relationships kept being built. Both bands I’m in, and every friend I have, is because I went to see a show in La Mesa. And tonight, we celebrate being friends.

     Wow, I wasn’t expecting to get into it that much, but hey, sometimes it happens. Then on Saturday we’re having brunch with one of Susan’s cousins. I don’t know if I ever told you my wife’s name before, it’s Susan. Her cousin’s name is Anthony. We get together a couple of times a year. He’s quite a bit younger than us, but he’s a nice guy. But now there’s all this pressure about where to go. We just saw him a month ago. Oh well, it’ll be fine. Then on Sunday it’s the Calvin’s drummer’s birthday. It’s at his house, with a pool, so it should be fun. I hope it’s not too crazy. Then Labor Day with my parents. Sheesh! That doesn’t sound like a slow down to me! The following weekend is our anniversary, so we’ll go out of town for that, which is kind of like downtime, but not really. You don’t generally go out of town to sit around and do nothing. Then we’ll finally have an open calendar for a weekend. The weekend after that the Eruption has a show. The weekend after that we’re going camping. Which again, sounds like downtime but it really isn’t. Well, it kind of is, but not comfortable downtime. I don’t even know what the hell I’m complaining about right now. I sit around in comfort almost all day long during the week. I’ve got more downtime than a corpse. Writing that all out, then realizing what I was saying, and how I was saying it snapped me out of it. It’s not that I want to avoid people all together. But sometimes I feel like we don’t have to plan something for every weekend. I mean, we are just coming out of a very strange part of our life. Her father’s passing took a toll on everyone. From the planning, to the event, to her sister’s extended stay, there has been a lot going on, and I’m not sure she’s had time to process it all yet.