Thursday afternoon! What do you know? I'm glad this all worked out. I'm busy tomorrow, and today has worked out great, so I'm in. I love it when things like that happen. I know that people often make comments about “doors closing, and windows opening,” but when you get to see it, and feel it, in action, it truly is remarkable. I do feel a little guilty though. Today is my Daughter's Birthday. She's turning 22. Her 21st kind of got screwed last year because of Covid, so this is supposed to be a big one. However I will not be going. I have band practice. Under normal circumstances, I would have definitely taken the night off. But, we have a show coming up in 3 weeks. And, we have only played together twice in a year and a half. So, we need the practice. Plus, it being summer and all. Newly reopened and all. Other people have vacations scheduled. So we have to practice when we can. And, unfortunately, tonight is when we can. It feels weird. My wife's family and my family are going to be there. I am the only one not making it. It will be obvious. But, that's the life. Everyone knows. And she understands. Which is why I'm busy tomorrow. I'll get to see her then. It'll be a much smaller group, and a much more fun establishment, so she isn't really missing out. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, she's making out. She gets 2 Birthdays! That should hopefully make up for it. Not that there's really anything to make up for, but somehow I feel like you get my drift. And, also, on a side note, in a selfish way, I hope my bandmates realize the sacrifice I'm making to accommodate their schedules.
Not that any of them would ever actually question my priorities, but it's nice to show them that it's still the same. Everyone I know knows, so it's not like a mystery. Once I cancelled practice because my foot hurt so bad I couldn't walk very well. I never got so many phone calls before in my life! Everyone wanting to make sure I was okay. Figuring since I cancelled, it must be pretty bad. Well, it is good to know that the way I feel about things comes off in my behavior, and the people close to me get it. I wouldn't want, and couldn't have, it any other way. I'm always suspicious of people who think they are different than they are. But that sounds like the beginning of another story for another day. Today I'd like to finish the idea that I've been trying to tell you about for a couple of weeks now. I keep getting distracted! Which is fine. It's part of the process. But today, one of the parts of the process, is completed! Once again, I will say, it is a trip how things work out. I love this journey called Life. Even though at times it can be frustrating and confusing. A couple of weeks ago I started off by telling you that I was working on a new game. I was telling you that it was such a magical experience, that the idea just “popped” into my head. I was attempting to tell you that it was so much different than before, because this one practically “popped” in complete. I was about to tell you how it was so amazing, because I never had one come to me with so little effort involved. Well, that was a couple of weeks ago.
It's now been 3 weeks. And, it did come in pretty easy. But by no means complete. I was close, and it probably would've been fine. At least for now. My wife and I had fun playing it. But there seemed to me to be just a couple of things that could go better. Granted, we're just getting the basics down, I know there's still a lot of development to do. But I like to make sure I have a “working model” before I move on. And I could not get over this feeling that things could be a little bit better. And I do realize I mean a “little” bit. But I was agonizing over it. Agony might be too strong a word, but I'm leaving it in! I spent no less than 6 full days trying to get the math to work right. I knew there had to be a way to get the results I wanted, but it seemed like it might be an impossibility. I couldn't accept that. I knew there had to be a way. It invaded my dreams a couple of nights. I don't know if you've ever had anything like that happen, but it's hard to feel rested when you wake up feeling that you've already spent a whole day working on something. I could not let it go. It has consumed me. I had to force myself to stop. Several times. Then I finally realized something had to give. I wanted 2 different things to be able to happen. But I had to decide which I actually wanted more. Then, after days of effort, I finally noticed what was actually important, and what I was “trying” to fit in. As soon as I decided to stop “trying” to put my idea into “the” idea, I saw it. And it's turned out wonderful. I figured it out just before lunch. I feel lighter. And now I can go into the Holiday Weekend with a light heart, clean mind, and new game.
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