Feast On The Horizon

      2 in a week again! It almost leaves nothing left to say. Almost. I recently read that Stephen King writes 2-3 thousand words a day, even on vacation. Wow, talk about running out of things to say. Although, I imagine with the celebrity life, there’s probably always something going on to write about. Now that I think about it, he may be writing fiction, which is sometimes a little easier I think, especially if you’ve already got the characters in your mind. I recently saw some short story writing competitions online. I checked them out, but it made me realize that I’m not into fiction that much. Not at all, really. I like movies and such, but when I read, I want information. I have no desire to try to get lost in someone else’s head, I’ve got plenty in my own going on. But, it is still writing. Which I should probably do more of. They say practice makes perfect, but the other day I had the thought that all I’m doing is practicing. Falling back to what I wrote earlier, it’s clear in my head what I’m practicing for, but from an outside perspective, you would have no real idea. At least with playing music, I eventually have a show, and that is like “game time.” Well, I guess “show time” would be more appropriate. It is the accumulation of practices to perform. Whereas this task I practice is a lot less obvious. There is no “show time” for this. At least not yet anyway. Well, at least when I get there, I’ll be ready. I kind of beat myself up sometimes because I have enough free time to get done a lot of the things I wish to do. For some reason I’m just not putting enough effort into it. Which may sound crazy, because I am working on something every day. But it’s really starting to remind me of that old saying: “Shit or get off the pot.” Which I have recently come to a truer understanding of since there’s a game on my phone.

     That’s more along the lines of things I’d like to tell you. As tough as it is to admit it. When I started this whole project, I think that was basically the theme: What’s it like when you’re starting. It seems like a lot of the books I’ve read, and people I’ve heard of, have all been after they knew. Once they finished the thing. I’ve always been more curious about how they began. What’s it like to start with an idea that potentially no one’s heard of yet. Hearing of someone who’s already accomplished, doesn’t really have the same feel as describing the learning curve. Maybe other people aren’t interested, I don’t know. All I do know is that, I always thought this would be more of a tutorial for navigating the fluxing world of awareness, trying to maintain creative integrity, while figuring out how to discipline one’s self. Instead, it often seems like I’m just recounting the more exciting moments of my otherwise mundane life. But it does help. And I know this is a recurring theme, the mundane often helps me go places I may not have gone. Also, often, looking back at some of the post titles, I’m reminded of the events I’ve participated in, and people I’ve shared them with. In those situations, I’m glad that I’m taking the time to document what I’m going through, and the things I think while I go through them. So, it’s a bit of a conundrum. In order for me to share my thoughts on life with you, the life needs described, does it not? Okay, okay, I’ll stop myself there. I felt I was getting overly dramatic. Plus, I’m still dealing with the need to make corrections, instead of fixing it at the end. When Word tells me it thinks I’ve errored, I usually lose my train of thought. Which isn’t always that friendly. But, sometimes, like now, it makes me feel that maybe I did complete the thought, which is why there isn’t any “more.”

     Then, I go on about my life. It helps fill the void until the next epiphany. I’ve been noticing a lot of birthdays in October. We went to a party last Saturday. We had 2 the week before that. The Calvin’s drummer’s daughter just turned 18 on Tuesday, which is why we practiced yesterday. It was awesome by the way. This weekend we’re going over to hang out with my parents. It’s been a while, and this is the last free weekend for a while. After this I’m booked every weekend until Thanksgiving. And, technically, that’s already booked too. Then it’s my birthday, my mom’s, she’s taking us on a small cruise to Catalina and Ensenada. So, basically, I’ll have a free weekend in the middle of December. Which means shopping, so it’s not really free. Basically, I’ll see you next year! Well, that’s how it feels sometimes. I know that’s a recurring theme, and I never want to sound like I’m complaining. I truly am grateful that I have such a wide group of people who want to be around me. Maybe I should say “us,” I’m not sure how often I’d get invited if it weren’t for my outgoing wife. I don’t find that self-deprecating, it’s probably true. However, I’ll be busy with gigs, and I know I got those off my own merit. It’s exciting! I wanted to play more, and now I am. I certainly can’t complain about getting what I wished for. I have a general “fear,” that if I don’t accept what I’ve been asking for, “it” may stop granting them. I don’t want that to happen. I am grateful everyday for the journey towards awareness, and the magic that seems to come when you acknowledge it. I often feel like a monk, spending most of my time, even through mundane tasks, thinking about the Universe and how different things would be if we all were actually taking this journey together, instead of being complacent. Sorry, I got a little deep on you there, but “deep” is where I like to go.