Hoping For A Busted Bracket

      Last Thursday of March! Something seems kind of fitting having Easter finish off the month. I’m trying to make sure I get this done before the basketball game comes on. SDSU made it to the Sweet 16! Again! I did not think they were going to make it this year, so my bracket does not reflect how I wish it would go. Hence, I’m in a bit of a mind pickle, because I have UCONN winning the whole tournament, but now that SDSU is in, I hope they win. I don’t think my bracket will win anyway. It’s all about the amount of points you get throughout the tournament, and the guy with the most amount of points picked UCONN too. So, if UCONN does win it all, I’ll still lose. Therefore, I say GO STATE! And let my bracket be damned. Wow, that was pretty dramatic, especially for something I generally say I’m not even interested in. Obviously, the hometown team is different. It’s routing for San Diego, not just basketball. It’s exciting. Today is also the Padres’ home opener, and I am not even the slightest bit excited about that. I was surprised how many people I know who went. All kinds of people posting pictures with their new gear on, heading to opening day. I was shocked. Good for them. It just doesn’t excite me that much. I find baseball to be extremely boring. It feels like 90% of the game is just standing around. It was a bit of a different story when we were in the playoffs, that was exciting. I like to watch football. But, with basketball, and baseball, I’m more interested in how the season plays out, as opposed to individual games. It’s fine for background noise, and I like hearing about some of the stats, I like getting information from the “scroll,” but, in general, I don’t care. There are some people I know, that would give me a horrible look if they knew I felt that way.

     The sister-in-law’s visit went well. I only saw her for 2 meals, so it didn’t really affect me that much. My wife got to spend the day with her sister, so she was stoked. It really was just a quick little trip to practice traveling for her friend. Her friend was nice. But, sheesh, she spent a lot of time on her phone. I wasn’t really expecting all that much interaction anyway, I just find it interesting how some people rarely look up. I’d be cross-eyed if I looked at my phone that much. I can’t imagine how many times they must have to charge their phone. I don’t even charge mine every day. These people must have to charge several times a day. Oh well, not my problem.  I just got a call from my mom, confirming Easter plans, so I forget where I was going. Probably nowhere good. Complaining about phone over-users, wow, how exciting. Anyway: This weekend is a little more full. Friday we’re having game night at a friend’s house.  It’s the guitar player from the Eruption. It should be fun. I’m going to take over a couple of my games, and hope maybe to show some people what I’ve got going on. Now that I finally have playable versions, I take them with me whenever there might even seem like a chance to get played. I know I’m not as aggressive as I maybe should be, but I don’t want to seem like that guy who’s always trying to push his agenda. They know I’m working on these things, and I imagine they’d be happy to see. Saturday is the Punk Rock Princess’ 12^th anniversary show. She hosts a web-based radio show featuring punk rock from around the world. She claims we are one of her favorites, and plays us regularly. “Us” being the Calvins. So she asked us to play her “festival.” 12 years is a long time. I only heard of her about 2 years ago, I hope there’ll be people there.

     Easter’s seeming a little strange this year. My mother-in-law, who loves to host, has decided on brunch for this year’s festivities. Brunch, at her house. She wants to be eating by 11:30. That’s usually the time I’m waking up! I suppose I can set my alarm for the special occasion. It’s just weird. And, if past situations have taught us anything, there’s no way the food will be ready by 11:30! Maybe it will. I know my wife is going to want to get there early to help. So, we may be getting there around 10! With a show the night before!? This has got “eww” written all over it. I’m going to be positive, I just think it’s weird. But I get it, she doesn’t want to have to do the clean-up late at night. Plus, I don’t even really think she likes “holiday food.” I know she likes having all the people over. And I think she likes the cooking. But she never really seems to enjoy the food. She takes almost nothing, and eats almost nothing. I’ll be interested to see if she prefers “brunch food.” I’m actually interested to see what her version of “brunch food” is. I thought perhaps I wasn’t getting to have ham this Easter. That’s our custom, so I wasn’t sure if I was making a ham for 2 or not. I would have! But after having talked to my mom a few minutes ago, we’ll have ham at her house that evening. Yay! My parents, and sister, just got back from a cruise to Hawaii, so it’ll be good to catch up with them. Although, I was trying not to have her tell me too much over the phone, but it sounded as if it may have been a little boring. I’m sure they had “fun,” but there may not be much to tell. How many stories about food can you hear, before they all start sounding alike? I guess I’m going to see.

Hoping For Better Than The Best

      March Madness once again! My bracket is already not looking very good. I like keeping an eye on it. It’s something to do. People are talking about it. It helps me relate, and have something to talk about. I had to turn it off. I was attempting to write this while it was on, but it was too distracting. I’ve been doing this in silence for so long now, that it was too much stimulation. It’s weird to think I used to “have to” have something on in the background, and now I can’t. I thought, since it was “just” sports, that it wouldn’t be a big deal. It was. I’m not even sure why I tried, because, like I said, I’m not really that into it. I like seeing how the tournament works out, but the individual games are not that important to me. My wife likes watching, but to me it’s just a competition, and I’ll watch competition. But apparently, I don’t need to have it on in the background as I write. And now I know that. And knowledge is what I seek. I also feel a little weird doing this on a Friday. I meant to do it yesterday, as usual, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I had to drop my car off at the service station yesterday. My “check engine light” came on. I took it to my mechanic, he said all the codes he received were about the transmission, and recommended a local transmission shop that he trusts. If he trusts them, I trust them. My registration renewal came with a Certified Smog Check requirement. So I have to pass smog, which means the car needs fixed. It drives fine, so I hope it’s not too bad. The lady at the shop said the best-case scenario is $2,800! Yikes! Worst case is $4,800. I hope it’s better than the best. I just had it redone about 6 years ago. This feels jacked up. And they won’t know for a couple of weeks! Hence, I was in a weird mood yesterday. I just want it fixed.

     Last weekend was a bit of a blur. Saturday, we went to another friend’s 50^th. They had a block party. It was pretty cool. They live on a little side street, and got the permits to block off the street, so we could all just wander around the neighborhood. There were 3 or 4 people turning 50, so they had a blowout. There were bands, kegs, a food truck, and lots of people we knew. This was a very similar group of friends that we were with at the 50^th party 2 weeks ago. It was nice to see them all again. It’s funny because until now I never really knew how old any of them were. I’ve known them all for over 20 years, so I knew we were close, but I didn’t know how close. Turns out they’re all the same age as my little sister! It’s been weird spending 2 weekends celebrating people born in 1974, and my sister not being there. She doesn’t know any of the people anyway. I just think she would’ve gotten a kick out of it. She seems like an old lady compared to my friends. It’s weird. I could’ve definitely brought her to the party last Saturday. However, she is on a cruise with my parents. That’s what she wanted to do for her 50^th. A cruise to Hawaii. The same cruise they did about 2 years ago. Except this time, they got to leave from San Francisco. I thought it was weird. The same cruise! Cruising to Hawaii seems lame to me. It’s all ocean! No fun ports, just ocean. I know everyone has their thing, but it seems odd to do the same thing for your 50^th. And with our parents! Those are like her friends. It’s a little sad. And she thinks it’s weird that I don’t get it. I’m a little afraid to see what happens to her when they pass. She is going to be devastated! I hope she’s able to cut the cord.

     St. Patrick’s Day was pretty fun. A little too fun. My wife did not make it to work on Monday. Woops! Luckily she woke up on time to call in and let them know, so she’s not in any trouble, but still, calling in sick on the 18^th of March?! Come on. People must’ve known. She didn’t get any backlash, so that’s good. We went over to our friends Trish and Lincoln. We don’t get to see them very often, even though they only live a mile from us. They’re both in the hospitality industry, and are usually both working weekends, so you know how that goes. St. Patrick’s Day is the one day we usually get to hang out. We’ve been doing it for years. Although, this was the first time since 2019. So, we had a little back up going on. Lincoln is a chef, and so having him cook is pretty awesome. He always does up the corned beef and cabbage. It was a delight. They had it at his stepmom’s house. We had been there before, so we knew people, I just thought it was weird to have it at someone else’s house. When she was done, she drove the four of us back to their house, where things get a little fuzzy. Hence, this week started off weird. And you know how that goes. I did all my Monday stuff on Tuesday, and so on. Now my wife’s sister is in town! Yay! So that’s what we’re doing for the next 2 days. In about an hour, we’re going to visit. Yay! Her sister’s alright. She came down with a friend who wants to scout colleges for her daughter. They didn’t bring the daughter, which I find odd. But apparently, this woman has never left the county she grew up in. She’s never been on a plane, never been in an Uber, nothing! So, she wants to do those things before her daughter has to. I guess it makes sense. This might be another weird weekend. And then next weekend’s a gig, and Easter!

The March Of The Party Goers

      Happy Pi Day! I don’t really celebrate it, it’s not really a holiday. Like May the 4^th, it’s cute, but not really a holiday. I will be having pizza tomorrow, but that’s to celebrate Friday, not Pi Day. I am a bit of a numbers nerd so I can appreciate it. I think I’ve mentioned, more than a few times, how I geek out when the date has special number significance, so I get it. Had I thought about it, and had I known I wasn’t having practice today when I was doing the shopping for the week, I may have picked something pie-like. It’s fun. But I noticed the people I know who posted about it, got a lot of serious nerd backlash. I’m often surprised that people can’t just ignore something they don’t care about, why do they have to tease people about it? It doesn’t make any sense. This one guy I know from the music scene, and I’m starting to kind of become online friends with, often posts these elaborate math problems that he’s working on. I’m not sure if it’s part of his job, if he’s in a class, or if he just does complicated math for a hobby. I imagine if it’s for work, he might not be posting it. I just assumed he does it for fun. There was a time in my life when I did math for fun. I was trying to figure something out, but it was still of my own doing, for pleasure. When I saw that movie A Beautiful Mind, I got freaked out a little bit, because it reminded me of the time I spent doing math. Anyway: The guy I’m referring to, posted about Pi Day today. Anyone who knows him, knows he’s some form of mathlete, so why call him names? If that’s friendship, I think I’ll pass. I don’t often read the comments on people’s posts. Maybe this is a little game they play. If so, I’m glad that I’m not “in.”

     I think you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Perhaps that’s why they say: “Guilty by association.” Although, I think that may apply in person, more so than online. I’m not sure you can judge a person by their online relationships, because so many people are different online than they are in person. However, there’s still something there. People who regularly get into arguments with people online are kind of showing their hand. People constantly making nasty posts probably aren’t much fun in person either. I guess you can kind of tell. I know if someone was regularly being negative about my posts, I would delete them. If you want to be a troll, or a basher, you can fuck off. Most of the people I “know” usually have nice things to say. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been thinking about “friends” a lot over the past few days. I didn’t end up going to my “friend’s” Retirement Party. The 50^th party we were at was rolling along, until it was too late to try to squeeze the other one in. There was a moment, about an hour and a half in, where we kind of looked at each other as if to say: “You want to go hit the other party?” But we never said the words, and there were still many conversations to be had. It kind of solidified for me what our preference is. When I talked to the Eruption last Thursday, which was awesome by the way! 5 months, and it was like we lost no time at all. It felt great to have our drummer back, better than ever. Although now he’s too sore to play again this week. Weird. But anyway: They had all said they were not staying at the Retirement Party that long. So, if they weren’t going to be there, there wasn’t really any point in us going. In reality, if I wasn’t in the Eruption, I wouldn’t even be friends with this group of people.

     Then, Sunday’s barbeque took it to a different level. That crew has a whole different vibe. A lot more our style. It was hard not to draw comparisons, because just the night before, we’d been hanging out with our “friends,” but this other group is so much more inviting. A lot of hugging going on. I’m not much of a hugger myself, but they are. And that’s okay. Most of our friend groups can seem kind of cliquish. A lot of them have been friends since grade school, so you’re not really going to break into that. I’m surprised how many of these groups we have slipped into. All 3 of our friend groups have been friends since at least high school, and we didn’t meet any of them until we were in our twenties. We are one of the only new additions to any of these groups. But still, there are groups within the group, and you can kind of tell. However, the Sunday group is a little different. People tend to hangout as a group. The cliquish thing doesn’t really happen. We are more of a unit, than a bunch of units. It felt a lot better. A lot less pretentious. I’m not sure I would’ve noticed had it not happened so close together. The Saturday group has a few hipsters, and some people a little more fashion forward. Sunday’s group was not like that. A little more relaxed. I’m not sure if I can nail down “the” difference, but Sunday was a lot more my style. But still, that was a lot of standing! I felt like I was standing for 2 straight days. That’s not my favorite part. I try to sit and stand in equal amounts, but sometimes the only seat is off in the corner by yourself. And I’ve noticed, through years of trial and error, nobody looks good sitting in the corner by themselves. And now, this weekend, we do it all again, with 2 different friend groups. Another 50^th on Saturday, then St. Patty’s!

A Jungle With No Lion?

      I sit here distracted today. I feel I have a lot to say, and yet, at the same time, not sure how much is “okay” to say. I suppose as usual, I’ll start off with the mundane, and see if we get to some place of reverence. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word, but I’m leaving it in because it feels “right.” In one instance, I am excited. The drummer for the Eruption is coming to practice tonight. We haven’t seen him since this time in October! 5 months! That is a long time. Well, compared to how little we saw him during the “2 years” of Covid, 5 months isn’t really that long. It feels long though. It is going to feel good to rock out again. I know it’ll take a while to get back to full strength. You can’t take 5 months off of a physically demanding skill and expect to come back just as you left. Not to mention the fact that his absence was due to injury. That has its own set of skills to recover from. But it feels good that he’s ready to try again. We hope for the best. Although, I will say, JoZ was really hitting a stride. The more we got into it, the more some very interesting things were happening. I’ve actually revived the JoZ SoundCloud page just to be able to have a place for it. More often, over the past few months, I’ve been staying up late listening to JoZ. When I revived our SoundCloud page, someone actually shared one of the songs to their own page. I was stunned. I know it’s only one person, but still, something we made up on the spot, recorded with a single mic in a room, sounded good enough to someone to share with other people. I think that’s pretty cool. Most of the tracks on SoundCloud are professionally produced. I’m just using it as a way to have something up there in case we want to direct people to it.

     Last weeks Prom party was fun. We got dressed up. I think we were one of the only couples that went the extra mile to get the corsage and boutonniere. Everybody was commenting on it. It felt really good to get to see everybody. Especially all dressed up. There does seem to be a special energy when everyone is all dressed up. We did get our picture taken. It looks pretty good. They did not have a photographer, but the owner was making sure to get good photos of everyone in front of a backdrop, so it was like a “Prom Photo.” The backdrop was balloons writing out “1974.” I’m not sure the significance of “1974.” I never got a clear answer. Well, maybe I never asked anyone other than myself. Doing the math, I think that may have been the year of his Prom. Perhaps. I don’t know. We got A good photo, and lots of other fun ones. The place was packed. I knew the guy knew a lot of people, but I was surprised. On a Thursday!? We eventually got a seat. We saw people we hadn’t seen in a while. It was a good night. We took it easy, and got home safely, it was a success. We’ve got more parties this weekend. Geesh! I’m not sure how we’re going to get to it all. Saturday, we have one of our really good friend’s 50^th birthday party. But, close to the same time, we have a really good friend’s Retirement party. The Retirement party is for one of our camping friends, while the other is for one of our La Mesa friends. I’m not sure how we’re going to fit them both in. We’re definitely doing the 50^th, those are our actual “friends.” It feels weird to type that, but it’s true. Then Sunday, our other friend group is having a barbeque! All three friend groups having parties the same weekend!? This is like a perfect storm. I’m not sure how we’re going to pull this off, but it feels like we should be able to.

     On a sadder note, and the reason I’m so distracted, and the reason I’m not sure what to, or how much to say, I found out disturbing news last Saturday. I feel like such an idiot. Here I am writing about all the plans that “we” have for the upcoming weekend, and I’m not 100 that there is much of a “we” anymore. I’m not sure how much to say, mostly because I’m not sure if this will ever be read. I don’t like airing laundry, but I feel I have no one to talk to about it. Usually, once I get it “out,” it tends to go away, or at least subsides enough that I can relax in the feeling that I vented. I keep wanting to tell my friends, to get their opinion. But I don’t want to air our laundry. Realistically, things will probably keep going for us, but I’m uncertain right now, and don’t want to ruin her reputation. I know I’ve done some things I don’t want her telling her friends about. But, I’m really confused, and am not sure what to do, or if I can “get over it.” It’s difficult to write about without telling any details. I’m not sure I’m willing to give any yet. Hopefully never. I hope we finally reach a point of honesty where I’m no longer constantly second guessing if she’s being honest. But it’s hard. How can I be fully committed to someone who thinks sneaking around, and lying, is “okay?” I keep thinking about that Depeche Mode song: “Never again is what you swore, the time before.” How many times can I be slapped in the face, and continue to think that it has ran its course? I know I’m supposed to “turn the other cheek,” I know I’m supposed to “forgive those, like I would like to be forgiven,” But at what point is it a lost cause? I’ve devoted my life to honesty, and it feels like some people have a very hard time being honest.