Making Things More Interesting

      Wow, I almost missed this week. I totally spaced yesterday. I’ve been a little under the weather, so I’m not thinking straight. I’ve been sleeping a lot, and I just forgot. Luckily today I remembered, and found a little bit of time. I can’t believe tomorrow’s April! I must be having fun because this year seems to be flying. A third of the year gone. Wow! Anyway, back to the task at hand. The show I went to last week was pretty cool. There were a lot of people there. I got to shake lots of hands. That may be why I have the sniffles, but oh well. There’s another show tonight that I’m thinking of going to, although I’m not sure if I should. I’m mostly better today, I didn’t even take any meds today, so I think I’m over it. I wouldn’t want to spread anything, or catch anything else, but I’m not going to live my life in fear. The band playing tonight is a band that’s been playing around for a while. I’ve known them for a good amount of time. The bass player is the same guy that I went to see last weekend. I guess this is how it goes. Just keep showing up, shaking hands, and getting noticed. Supposedly the band I want to see tonight goes on at 7. That’s more like it. I can still get home at a reasonable hour. Getting old feels weird. Now I care about what time I get home, how long I’m out, and making sure I get home safely. I can’t really go for it the way I used to, or want to for that matter, because I want to be safe behind the wheel. Not very punk rock, but it’s important. I’m just glad I’m at a place in my life where I’m mature enough to control myself. I’m still having fun, and enjoy having things to do. I’m still myself, just a more subdued version.

     I’m kind of stoked because I have another comedy gig coming up. Next Thursday I’ll be performing again. I was glad I got the notice. The invitation was a bit more formal than they’ve been in the past. I guess they’re getting their stuff together. I thought it was cool that today I finally got confirmation. The confirmation came from a person that I’m familiar with, so I was glad to see it’s the same people. When I got the formal notification, I thought the group had changed leaders. Plus, all of the recent shows have been, and according to the website are going to continue to be, in the North County. Driving 45 minutes to perform for 5! Oh well, it’s not really about the 5 I guess. I almost didn’t sign up. Not only is Thursday usually prog band night, but I got a little butthurt by them. I’m pretty sure I told you that they had a showcase, at a real comedy club, for the graduation of one of their comedy writing workshops, and they didn’t ask me if I would perform. I felt left out. That was the second time. Then a month or so ago, it kind of happened again. I saw online that they were having a show, but it was the same Sunday that my punk band had a show, so I couldn't make it. But, I was still bothered that they hadn’t invited me. Then, come to find out, the director emailed me at 10pm on Friday night, to see if I wanted to perform at the show on Sunday. I felt like they were only reaching out because they didn’t have enough performers. But they did reach out, and that’s one of the only reasons I even considered performing with them again. I wasn’t even 100% sure I’d do it, because of band practice. But my bandmates have cancelled for the past 2 weeks, so I figured: screw it, I’m doing it. I want to perform comedy too.

     I strongly dislike when I feel like I’m acting petty. But I do sometimes, and hopefully, acknowledging it will help it on its way to coming to an end. That’s one of the reasons why I try not to use anyone’s names while I’m writing these. I wouldn’t want it to come up on some internet search and have someone reading it, getting offended by it, and causing some kind of unintended drama. But I do honestly feel like I’m not being offensive. And I honestly do feel like I’m not writing anything that can’t, or shouldn’t, be read. My bandmates shouldn’t have any problem with reading that I was bummed that practice got cancelled 2 weeks in a row. I’m not going to send it to them, but if they found it, it shouldn’t be a problem. But, for whatever reason, this thought keeps coming up. Usually only when it pertains to my feelings about a situation. This is about my feelings though, so why should it be avoided? I think I’m being delicate about it. I’m not overly concerned with offending anyone else. On paper I would tell you that I wouldn’t want to live my life in fear of offending people, yet here I sit, often concerned that I’ve said too much, or wrote the wrong thing. I suppose it’s good that I question whether or not I’m being a dick. I doubt actual dickheads are sitting around wondering whether or not they’re a dickhead. So I’ll probably keep questioning myself, all the while trying not to let it stop me from being me. Who am I to know what someone else will be offended by? That’s not on me, that’s on them, I’m just being honest. I think it’s coming up more now because I’m starting to sometimes feel that my vagueness may be making some of my posts hard to follow. I started writing that way to not spotlight anything, so I’m not writing a commercial. But I’m doing some cool stuff now, and perhaps adding some details would make the writing more interesting.