Doing Things Considerately

I'm drawing a serious blank today. I felt like I should nap, but I wanted to accomplish something today. So, I've decided to finally finish my old Topic List. Some of these are so old, I don't even remember what I was going to comment on. None the less, it has been weighing on me that I never finished it, and since I was keeping it for just such an occasion as this, it is time. Who knows, maybe it'll jar something loose. I must also admit, that I'm listening to a band called Bad Brains, and it's so good, I'm a bit distracted. Item #1: Door Slammers / Elephant Walkers. This is not so much of a problem for me anymore, since I'm no longer at an office building, and my new upstairs neighbors are both smaller women. But, it is still a concern of mine. If you are not familiar with this phenomenon, I will try my best to elaborate. I consider this to be two symptoms of the same problem, of which I have not yet been able to identify. I can assure you, that to address this problem with one of the afflicted, will lead you nowhere. They seem to be totally ignorant of the fact that it's occurring, or at least to the fact that it's a problem for others. The first part of this has to do with people being totally oblivious, I think, to the fact that they're closing the door too f*cking hard. Doors do not need slammed, they can simply be shut. It seems to me, that living in an apartment complex, or working in an office building full of suites, people should be extra aware that there are other people around. No one wants to be bothered.

I, myself, have been guilty of slamming a door or two. But only when I really meant it. I'm talking about the unconscious door slamming that arises through a lack of attention, consistently. I think it shows how upset they are in their life, and they may not even know it. I t makes me feel bad for them. But then, I get so annoyed at the loud noise, that I want to make them feel like the door. Inconsiderate! Another symptom, along the same vein, is what I call “Elephant Walkers.” This is when a person walks really, really, heavy. In the office building I used to work in, you could hear them coming the whole way down the hall. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, practically shaking the entire building, just as they're walking. I'm 6'8”, and about 250, I can glide through the halls why not these people? I would often see smaller women just pounding the sh*t out of the ground as they walk. It seems so unnecessary. And, again, I feel it's some type of built-up hostility. It can't be good for their body to constantly be absorbing that much shock. It has to be some kind of passive aggressive bullsh*t. “I'm just going to take it out on the floor!” (Imagine that with a high whiny voice.) I think people taking no care in how they walk, or how they close the door, is a small example of how they probably view other aspects of their life, not important. If we can't give a little attention to the things we do on a daily basis, what are the chances that we're paying enough attention to the things that we have no control over?

I think paying attention is very important. I am aware we are only designed to perceive a small amount of data. We cannot, obviously, pay attention to everything. We'd surely go crazy. But, I am also aware of the fact that our outward behavior is a reflection of our inner thoughts. If people aren't thinking about how they walk down the hall, there is a greater chance that there are other things in their life that they are also not considering. If they are not aware of how they always close the door so hard, there are probably other things in their life, that they do habitually, which they are not aware of. Before all else, we, as adults, must know ourselves. And, you'd be surprised how many of life's little irritations kind of fade away when you're truly focusing on what you're doing. Even if it's just closing a door politely. We have so little influence over the rest of the world, it seems a shame to not take care of what we can. We all live here together. If we don't take that into consideration, then we're missing a huge part of the picture. We have to be able to see how our behaviors affect those around us. If we've never taken a moment to ask ourselves “How do I walk down a hall?” Then how are we going to be able to comprehend how our actions might affect those around us? I can imagine some people might think “So what?! F*ck other people!” And that is precisely my point. Far too many of us don't even consider how we're affecting others. But, if we did, I assure you, a lot of our problems would dissolve.  

Daughn

The Dessert Show

I'm finally getting over my hangover. I'm still a little bit shaky, so I don't know how much sense this will make. Hungover on a Wednesday, not one of my finer admissions. Why is it that when you plan on having “just one,” that's when you seriously tie one on? If I had planned on getting wasted, I would have just gotten tired and bored. I'm just glad I remember everything, that is a step in the right direction. The night started off honorably enough. Last night was a performance by the Grossmont High School Choir known as The Dessert Show. Basically they pick an artist, last night was Andrew Lloyd Webber, and they perform a collage of his famous songs, while the audience gets coffee and cheesecake. Before the show, Stella Mae asked if her friend could come get ready over at our house. She almost never has guests over. Not only do we not have much room, but I really don't like children. Thus, spending extra time, with extra children, doesn't appeal to me very much. However, since it was only one child, and such a rare occasion, I decided to let it happen. Plus, her friend is 15 today, and Stella Mae will be soon, so it's not like they're actually “children.” They're more like little adults, so it's much more tolerable. Not only that, but the girl is going through a bit of an awkward time at home, hence, my helpful side engaged. I do not, however, want this to become some kind of charity case! People should take care of their own business. I'm sure I'll be discussing that business in the future.

At first I wasn't sure what the whole deal with getting ready together was. But, then, as I thought about it, the only real reference I have to such an event is getting ready for a show with my bandmates. My old band used to have pre-show rituals all of the time. That was almost as fun as the gig. It was definitely a huge part of the experience. Even with my current band, we still kind of have a type of ceremony, although it has seriously tapered, now that they both have “children.” So, I guess, in retrospect, I can see why it's a big deal. And, I am glad that I let it occur. However, it was a bit strange that I had to cook for someone again. Twice in a month! What it is going on here?! The especially weird thing was, without having any idea, I just so happened to fix two of her favorite things. She was so happy. Which, in turn, made us all happy. She comes from a “well to do” family. And, to see her so happy to have “real” food, and eat with a “family,” made me kind of sad. But, as I said, I'll be discussing that in the future. I was just happy to have made someone else happy. After dinner we dropped them off at the show, since they had to be there quite a bit earlier than us. We found a questionably legal way to kill a few minutes until we had to meet our guests. There were 50 tables of 8 people for the performance. We filled up 3 tables! It was kind of cool, because we actually bought our tables early, so we got to pick them all together. Instead of, you know, sitting with “strangers.”

Although, I do have to say, that we probably wouldn't have been sitting with “strangers.” Looking around, I could not believe how many people we knew. I was a bit overwhelmed at realizing how long we've known some of these “kids.” Stella Mae has been performing, in the theater group, with a lot these people for at least 6 years. I just didn't realize how many of them were also in the choir until last night. The show went well. There were some pretty good kids, and there were some kids who looked as if they were “phoning it in.” I am probably a little biased, but Stella Mae really stood out among her “peers.” She was in 4 of the 6 group numbers, and had 2 of the 5 solo spots. She really seemed like a pro up there. Even though I'm with her a lot, it's still amazing to see her up there doing her thing. She really is talented. You can even ask people not related to her, and they'll tell you the same thing. She had the whole room quiet, for the only time. 400 people in silent awe. It gives me the goose bumps just thinking about it! After the show, her grandmother wanted to take her home, so we conceded. My parents couldn't make it, last minute, so we found some friends willing to come. They were so stoked, they took us out for drinks afterwards, since we had no kid. We should have left when they did, but we saw another friend, and decided to stay, since she looked lonely, and the music wasn't very annoying at all. Well, one thing lead to another, and we ended up drinking whiskey at our house until 3 am.

Daughn

And, Yet Again

Well, Mother's Day has come and gone. It went off without a hitch. And, I have to say, it was a huge success. I had the leftovers last night, and it was just as delicious as it was originally. Everyone seemed to be truly impressed. It felt nice to be appreciated. Susan's Mom said that it was the first Mother's Day, since she's been one, that she didn't have to cook. I was really happy to give her the break. Her boyfriend didn't show up, which was fine with me. I really liked putting everything together. It was so strange, because usually I make things that are pretty spicy. I like a little spice in everything. I put crushed red pepper in my oatmeal. I use jalapeno cream cheese. I am a spice fiend! However, in this instance, I knew I was not cooking for myself, so I had to curtail it. To make it even more interesting, I was doing a Southwest theme, which could have been very easy to get carried away with the spices on. It put me in a situation where I really had to watch myself. Doing so, created an unusual sensation inside me. Constantly watching myself, so I didn't get carried away with the spices, caused me to be reminded that I was doing this for others. I really believe the fact that I was constantly thinking about the people I was making the meal for, made it somehow better. I had seen a movie once, about the idea of infusing your thoughts into the meal that you were cooking. It is something I had come to consider possibly true. But, after this Sunday, I'd have to say, I think it's probably true.

I look forward to more dinner parties. I really enjoyed the experience. Switching directions, it is hot! I didn't have time to explain last week, but I did mention a “Truck Run.” A Truck Run is when the company I work for takes a truck full of boots to a company's parking lot, and sets up shop. Basically we bring the boot store to the people. I think it's a great idea, especially for people out in the boonies. I have not been on a Truck Run yet, but I have been to help load the truck, so I basically know how it goes. Apparently it goes much faster than the store, since people are coming on their break. I have looked forward to this experience. Plus, I get a percentage of the take, so it'll be beneficial financially as well. However, we're going out to the desert. It's over 100 in town this week, I can't imagine what it's going to be like in a parking lot out in the desert! I don't usually do well with extreme heat while working. I get bothered when it's 78 in the store, I don't know how I'm going to handle the 100's! Being a bald red-head, I also have an aversion to the sun. So I'm really interested to see how these next two days play out. I bought an oversize straw hat to protect my scalp, since it'll be almost impossible to keep sunscreen on in that heat. I sweat a lot anyway. I hope they let me wear the hat. I bought it without knowing whether it's “allowed” or not. I've gotten very little information about this whole process, and now they've changed the time and location of my pick up twice. So, I'm a little nervous.

Switching directions, yet again, I wanted to tell you about the Renaissance Faire. I wanted to do it while it was still fresh in my head. But, as I sit here, I can tell the memories are already waning. I can't quite remember what I thought was important to tell you, but here it goes: The Renaissance Faire is not something we would normally go to. We have a really close friend who is part of a Belly Dancing Troupe, and they perform at the Ren Faire twice a year, every year. They invite us twice a year, every year. And, we say “Maybe”twice a year, every year. But we decided to go this year, finally. It was a little more expensive than I thought. The park was beautiful. I really didn't know what to expect. Ironically, I wore a shirt that has the word “Drama” with a line through it, signifying “No Drama.” I didn't realize it was going to be such a big deal. I wear that shirt all the time, and have never had as much response as I did that day. I was practically an attraction! I kind of thought the whole thing was kind of sad. These people spend a lot of time and money on trying to entertain a bunch of people who just want to look at them. Apparently they were all told that back in the day everyone wanted to be a part of the action, whereas today most people just want to watch. The people watching was great, but watching them try to engage people who didn't want to be engaged made my heart break for them a little. And, yet again, I have run out of time, and room, to tell you about my boring Ren Faire adventure.

Daughn

Give And Take

What a week. My hours have picked up, for which I am very grateful. But, finally having a day “off,” I now realize all that I'm not getting to while working. Give and take, give and take. I know, I know. But knowing it, somehow, doesn't make it any easier. Although, I guess it should. Like, for example, next week, I was moved back down to three days a week. A number I can handle. A number I'm starting to think I might prefer, if only the paycheck wasn't so...modest. However, I was called today and asked if I would like to work on a “Truck Run” for a day and a half. I jumped at the chance for two extra days of work! Plus, I want to be versatile, and I want them to know that I'm versatile, so I try not to turn down work. I really don't want to turn down “extra” work, especially when it's “extra” work that I was specifically asked for, by the powers that be. This could/should be a really good thing. Although in two weeks, when I've worked for 7 of 9 days, I may feel differently. But then, two weeks after that, when I get the paycheck, and have forgotten all the work that was done, I will probably feel differently still. Give and take, give and take. But that is kind of my point, all that I just described, takes me to the end of the month! I have already been informed that my June is booked solid with weddings, birthdays, and Stella Mae's play. Then, we get to July, with a few other birthdays, all within the first week, which is a good thing, because a few weeks after all of that, we leave for Alaska!

I sit here May the 7^th, but in reality, I can already see the middle of August! Kind of. It's bizarre. I am a planner, so it's a good thing I can see it. I really dislike things being sprung on me, unless, of course, they are fortunate. For example, Mother's Day is coming up. My Mom had this great idea that we'd all go out to brunch, then I could make her dinner. I like cooking. I really like cooking. But, I rarely, if ever, get to cook for people who are not Susan and Stella Mae. I used to cook for my family often when I was younger, so I was looking forward to the chance. I was geeking out on it. But, at the same time, I was having a little bit of trouble narrowing down what to make, and how it would happen. Then my Mom invited Susan's Mom, and Aunt. Then, in turn, Susan's Mom invited her boyfriend, who happens to be a chef. So, my quaint little dinner, for the 6 of my immediate family, whom I love more than anyone else in the world, turned into an actual dinner party for 9. I care for the three other people coming, so it's not that big of a deal. But, it put some kind of additional pressure on me. Cooking for 9, for some reason, feels like cooking for so much more than 6. However, in some way, it helped solidify everything. At first, as I said, I was having trouble narrowing down my options. I started stressing out when more people got added. But then, as if by some miracle, all of the dishes started falling into place. Now, by today, I'm all set, and am just excited about sharing it with everyone.

I guess sometimes a little extra pressure is needed for the flow to hit you. I can appreciate that. But when I have events planned on my days “off” it feels like I don't have any down time. Like this past Sunday. I had a meeting from 8-10 am. I had to wake up and be there, so it's not really “off.” Then we went to the Renaissance Fair all afternoon. I didn't feel like it was a day “off.” Apparently I'm going to have to tell you about that on another day. Now, I'm going to be busy all next Sunday as well. Even today, being my day “off,” I have been busy since I got up. Granted, it was doing stuff I wanted to do, but there is still no down time. Not on Wednesdays. I have it set up so that I don't have to go to “work,” but I have plenty to do. Give and take, give and take. And, as I write this, it seems clear that without the “busy-ness,” the down time would not be appreciated. After all, even on my days “off,” I fill it with things to do. I'm not even done with everything I wanted to do yet. I keep thinking about this line from a Tool song that goes: “Boredom's not a burden, anyone should bear.” I tend to disagree, but at the same time, hope he's being ironic, since I like him. I like being bored sometimes. I think it's important. It's a tough balance to be socially active, melding the hopes and plans of your own with the others' in your life. All the while trying to find time for yourself. Ironically, band practice just got cancelled for the second time in a row. And now I'm bummed that I have nothing to do. Give and take!

Daughn