Dream A Dream Of Days Coming Up

      Happy Comic Book Day! It’s also One-Hit Wonder Day, World Maritime Day, Cooking Day, and Lobster Day. My laptop told me that it was also Dream Day, but that didn’t readily come up on the site that I regularly use, so I tagged it. I looked it up, it is on the site, they just didn’t offer it up front like the other 5. But, I included it, since I think it’s important. I didn’t look it all the way up, so I don’t know if they mean “sleeping” dream, or “goal-oriented” dream. That’s another one where I think the words should be different. I mentioned a little bit ago that “love” between a person and a thing, or another person should be different words. I feel the same with “dream.” Without context, someone might think Martin Luther King Jr. was talking about something his mind concocted while he was sleeping, as opposed to his “goal-oriented” desire for change to occur. I think both are important. I celebrate both. I am often saddened by the idea that some people don’t have “GO” dreams. Making it until Friday shouldn’t be a “dream.” I suppose most of the time when we’re talking about “dreams,” the listener would have the context to know whether you’re talking about when you were sleeping or not. Sayings like “teamwork makes the dream work,” steals a little of the importance of both those things. People rarely say that with a smile, as if they mean it. And, I’ve also noticed, that people don’t seem to talk about either type of dream very much. Sometimes it seems like it’s almost taboo to talk about your “dreams,” especially with people that you don’t know that well. Obviously, some people share too much, and talking about their fucked-up dreams fills one of their narratives about how weird they are. But, I do think it’s important to know what your mind is “thinking” about, when you’re subdued. I think being given the gift of remembrance should be cherished.

     I know it can be awkward to talk about, given that most of the time they don’t even make sense to the dreamer initially. But, I also understand that talking things out, especially with another person, can often offer insight to the dreamer, that wouldn’t have been picked up, had they not taken the time to verbalize the images they remember. And, just as importantly, as I have read several times, is stating your other types of “dreams.” Say it out loud! Tell another person. I’ve even heard: Write it down! If not even just for yourself, and to lay claim to your intention for the Universe to experience. So, as I drastically wish to switch from “thinker” to “doer,” I’ll try it. As of this moment: It is my dream that my wife and I find adequate employment. Something we enjoy doing, without too much sacrifice. It is my dream that I start auditioning for voice acting jobs, and learn to make a business of it. It is my dream that as I figure that out, I’ll gain enough money, and experience, to understand how to get my games published, or sold. Then, having achieved those, it is my dream that I’ll gain enough resources, experience, and wisdom, to be able to publish the book I’ve been working on for 26 years! Then, after having followed my heart, and the resources I’ve gained, be able to travel, giving talks, playing games, and helping like-minded people realize that this is all possible, if we get out of our heads, put our feet on the ground, and “do” the things that we “dream” of doing, because I will have a real time example of what it’s like to go from “thinker” to “doer,” “agnostic” to “knower,” and “closed-off cynic” to “loving, open-minded optimist.” Well, there it is. That is my intention. And, hopefully, you’ll stay with me on this journey to see what happens. I start this Autumn with a new sense of urgency, sobriety, and dedication to the cause: My Life!

     Wow, that was sure a mouthful about something I hadn’t even planned on saying. Not that I ever really “plan” on saying anything. I was a sailor, so Maritime Day holds a special place. Most people have no idea what it’s like to be on a vessel in the middle of nowhere, and the closest ground is a mile beneath the water. Let that sink in for a sec… I never really was into comic books. I read Popular Mechanics. My mom always gave me crap about that. My wife and I are trying to get up to speed on the MCU, and we’re enjoying the journey, but it’s almost too much to keep up with. Cooking Day! If I had started with that one, I’d probably still be typing about it. I love cooking. I just finished the lunch I cooked! I rarely take a break from cooking. It’s nice to go out, but I’m getting so good, most of the time I wish we did stay at home. I love lobster. If we were in a different situation right now, I would probably definitely used this as an excuse to get some. But, alas, I’ll pass. However, we are going to dinner with our daughter tonight. I’m excited! I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. We usually get together around the Equinoxes, as I believe I told you before. And, today happens to be the day we can do it. Nothing really all that special, but getting to spend time together is all that really matters. Lastly, One-Hit Wonders! Our lives have been shaped by one-hit wonders. And, I often wondered, as I’m sure many a musician/songwriter has, would that be cool? Playing the same song for the rest of your life? It’s often looked down on, as if you could only write that one good song. Insinuating that the rest of your discography is crap. And, a lot of times, it does seem that way. How many times have you got an album because you like “that” song, and have the rest of it disappoint you? Maybe that’s why albums don’t do so well anymore. But, if you’re able to tap into a point in time, and your creation is something people think about in their memories, you’ve won!

For The Love Of Firsts

      Happy Ceiling Fan Day! It’s also Cheeseburger Day, Equal Pay Day, Bamboo Day, First Love Day, and, on a personal note, my mother-in-law’s birthday. Last year, she turned 70, and we had a huge party at Sycuan with a cabana at the lazy river. It was nice. All her daughters surprised her, and we had a great day. Tonight, she’s having a poker party for her aged friends. We may have been invited, but we’re not going. Susan went and floated the lazy river with her last week, so apparently, we’re good. I’m sure we’ll see her soon. I texted her today. It seemed like she appreciated it. It was the first text I’ve ever sent her. In my defense, I only started texting about 6 years ago, and I’m still not that prolific at it. I don’t even actually text, I use voice-to-text. There’s no way I’m trying to type it all out with those little letters. If I enlarged them enough to see them clearly, I’d only get one letter per screen. That’s a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point. We used to know this lady, who we think was classified as legally blind. She did only have one letter per screen. It took her 10 minutes to read a few sentences, because she literally had to read one letter at a time. Hopefully technology has caught up to her needs. We haven’t seen her in a long time. I hope she’s doing well. Wow, that was a lot more than I thought I was going to get into at the beginning of this. But, here we are. Seemingly running out of room for anything pertinent in the first paragraph. I will say that I know several people who love ceiling fans in their bedroom. I slept in a room with one a couple of times, it was too noisy for me. And, in general, unless they are way up in the air, ceiling fans make me nervous. You know it’s dangerous when other people tell you to watch your head.

     Cheeseburger Day! Are you kidding me!? Didn’t we just do this!? I thought so, and looked it up. A couple of weeks ago it was Hamburger Day! Come on now! This is getting ridiculous. I think those should be the same thing. Trickery! I had a very boring cheeseburger last week when I went out for Chocolate Milkshake Day. Plus, the milkshake was boring! It didn’t even taste like chocolate! Since we are both out of work right now, I thought I’d go cheap, and treated us to Carl’s Jr. Something we occasionally enjoy. As mentioned last week, I don’t normally go for a shake. I would rather have had a Frosty from Wendy’s! I don’t even consider that a shake, and I still would have liked it more than what I got. Bummer! I guess if I wanted to be dazzled, I should have upped my shake game, but I went cheap. However, later that night, after freezing it, thawing it, re-freezing it, adding chocolate syrup, and thawing it again, it turned out to be awesome! (In your best announcer’s voice: Chocolate Milkshake, some assembly required.) It was worth every audible disappointment. Although, from this point forward, if I want a Milkshake, I’m going to a specialty establishment. Bamboo Day! I heard it really is incredible material, and fast growing, but how many of us are going to actually celebrate? How would you? There are tips on the website I use, that I won’t share. You have to want it! Equal Pay and First Loves could take up the rest of this post all by themselves! I suppose I can try to keep it short. Equal pay is something I think we should all strive for. The only people who don’t seem to want equal pay are the ones making way too much. How can I preserve my status as better, and more important than you, if we’re paid the same? Especially since the rich getting more, doesn’t fuel the economy. If poor people were paid more, all that money would go right back into the system!

     First Loves! Wow, no matter who you are, that probably evokes fond memories in anyone who sees, hears, reads, or thinks about it. I’m assuming they meant between people, but you can imagine, with the way we throw around the word “love” today, first loves could encompass everything from Cheeseburgers, to Songs, to the little Redheaded Girl. Or Boy! Whatever you’re into. For a while now, I’ve wished there was a different word for “interpersonal love,” as opposed to liking something very much. I’ve heard other languages do, but since I don’t know anyone who speaks those languages, even if I knew the word, no one else I talk to would. It also makes me think, even though I’m running out of time/space, aren’t most First Loves wrong? For most of us, especially interpersonally, that feeling is associated with that love not lasting. Does that mean we were wrong? I don’t know. I think it helps us define it better for the future. But by the time we’re in an actual loving relationship, we no longer think of it as a First Love. Even though it’s the first one we decided to make official. Other than on FB. I imagine most of us think about First Love as something to reminisce about, as opposed to something that may actually be happening to you right now. But, because you have learned to think of it as something long ago, that did not turn out well, it may seem silly to consider that you, hopefully, are still continuing to experience First Love. Unfortunately though, a lot of people, especially in my age group, aren’t usually trying new things, robbing themselves of the feeling of a new “first.” It's kind of sad. I also think people like the newness of relationships, and it tends to keep people from feeling “new,” with the familiar, or never letting the relationship grow, to keep it’s “newness,” something akin to “puppy syndrome.” Well, here we are. Last sentence. I suppose the only thing left to say is: Last Saturday the Burning Beard show kicked ass! We packed that place!

Too Close For Comfort

      Happy Video Games Day! It’s also Stand Up To Cancer Day, Chocolate Milkshake Day, Bravehearts Day, and Gym Day. I didn’t know what Bravehearts was, apparently it has to do with child sexual abuse. Not necessarily something I wish we had to draw attention to, but, since it does exist, maybe making people aware could help stop it. Standing up to cancer seems to be something that could go without saying. I’m sure every single one of us has had cancer impact us in some way. Either through direct contact, or through a personal connection. No one is immune from its grasp, and it seems overwhelming to me, sometimes, that we still haven’t been able to eradicate this festering problem. It’s sad. Another thing that doesn’t care with whom you’re affiliated, it attacks us all equally. The saddest part, is that only a few of us have the means to combat it, if faced with the need to. Gym Day! That is probably necessary. I’m sure most of us need reminded from time to time, that we should be more active. I know I should. However, knowing it’s Gym Day, will not have the same effect on me, as say, Chocolate Milkshake Day will. There is probably a chocolate milkshake in my immediate future. Whereas, if the gym is in my future, it is not immediate. And, a chocolate milkshake wouldn’t be in my future if I hadn’t looked it up today. Especially since, as mentioned several times before, I’m not really a huge sweets fan. Occasionally, I enjoy a little, and a chocolate shake is definitely on the list. Now, I have an excuse to get one! And that’s how this little project can work. I find it mildly amusing that Gym Day, and Chocolate Milkshake Day, are on the same day. As if they go together. Which they kind of should. Lastly, Video Games Day! I had no idea. To think of how they’ve changed is worth mention! I don’t play as much as I used to, but they have been a major part of my life.

     Now to get into the scrambled mess that has been the last two weeks. Where do I start? I guess I have to go back to Labor Day, to have it make any sense, to me. Something else I would have told you last week. (Imagine the wavy lines you see in a movie when they’re reflecting, with some dreamy music) The Friday of Labor Day weekend, the Calvins discussed practicing on Saturday, as I believe I already told you. I was told it would be a Saturday decision. Saturday morning, I was informed that our guitar player “wasn’t feeling it,” and we would not be practicing. Later that day I inquired as to what time we should be there on Sunday, and if I still needed to bring my gear. I was told that we weren’t playing, so whenever we got there would be fine. Not playing! That’s two cancelled shows in a row! Not good. I was bummed. Sunday, we had two parties to attend. I wouldn’t even have gone to the Calvins’ party if I wasn’t in the band with them. We were having so much fun at the first party that we didn’t really want to leave, and everyone was bummed that we were. It was kind of sad. However, we did end up having fun at both. Initially, we thought we’d just be “stopping by” the Calvins’ party, and returning to the other. But, more people were there than we expected, we got to see a lot of friends, and stayed a lot longer than we originally thought. It was fun, but it was also weird how many people were bummed that we weren’t playing. At least 15 people were there to see us, and probably wouldn’t have come if they knew we weren’t playing. I felt bad. Especially since, at that point, I still had no idea why! Plus, we were all there! How confusing, and complicated, trying to navigate the strangeness. Monday, we just chilled. I thought we’d see my parents, but strangely enough, they were busy.

     In my last post, I pretty much went over Labor Day Week, uneventful. The Eruption’s drummer didn’t practice, nor this week either. We’re running out of time to get our set together for the 4^th. I’m sure we’ll be okay, but still, it’s disheartening. One week it’s his back, the next week it’s a runny nose. Granted, I don’t want to get sick, but it seems like it’s always something. I know, at this point I must sound like some kind of broken record. However, the JoZ crew will be ready! Saturday, of last weekend, was a little weird. Our friend wanted to take Susan out for her birthday. Her birthday was in January! He’s been bugging her this entire time. She finally agreed, and he invited a bunch of other people! Some of which, we were not all that happy to see. It turned into a shit show, and the whole time, we’re sitting there wondering: “Why Jeff? Why?” Nothing really happened, it was just a cluster fuck, and not at all what we thought we’d signed on for. Two of the people are ideologically different than us, and it was weird to hold my tongue all night. Not a fan! Especially since, like the weekend before, we were already at a very cool day-long show! We were in OB at the Holding Company, at a badass concert with a bunch of very cool bands! We left that to go be uncomfortable. How fun! In two weekends, we saw everyone we know. It was kind of surreal. Parts felt good, parts I just mentioned. Sunday, we recovered. Then Monday happened. I’ll try to be succinct. I was going grocery shopping, as I usually do on Monday afternoon. As I pulled out of the car port, I saw a large plume of smoke, seemingly at the construction site, near the main road. As I approached the main road, I could see it was a little farther away, but not very. I could not get to the grocery store. The fire was huge, and close. I turned around, went home, and we packed a bag waiting to be told if we should evacuate. We were spared, but it was one of the scariest times of our life. It got within a block of my drummer’s house. We are all glad to be safe today.

Should've Been The 4th, But Oh Well

      Happy Swap Ideas Day! It’s also TV Dinner Day, Port Wine Day, Anti-Junk Light Day, Quiet Day, and it also happens to be my anniversary. We were married 6 years ago today, in a small ceremony at the courthouse in El Cajon. It was a Tuesday. I remember because I thought how strange it was to get married on a Tuesday. However, we wanted the date 9-10-2019, which was a Tuesday, and that’s how that happened. I’ve told you I’m a numbers nerd, and so is she. We love a good palindrome. We thought it was especially cool because it works whichever way you write the date: 9-10-2019 or 9-10-19. We had the reception on the 14^th, with a more traditional style party. It was packed! It was one of the only large parties I’ve ever been to where I knew everyone there. We had fun! My wife still brings it up like it was yesterday. Ah, the good ol’ days! When we were both working for a growing company, thought we had a plan for the future, and were ready to get serious about our life together. It seems like 100 years ago to me. I wasn’t going to get into this stuff until paragraph 2, but since we’re here already, I just went with it. A lot has happened in these 6 years. Some of it kind of scary. We were together almost 18 years before we got married. And, almost as soon as we did, a plague infected the planet. Coincidence?! We did nothing but grow and get “better” before that. Ever since then, it has been a roller coaster! I like roller coasters. But at least those are controlled. I’m not complaining, but some stuff has happened. Not all of it our fault. And I know we’ll grow because of it. However, and I know I joke about it sometimes, things did change right after we got married. Now 6 years later, and unfortunately, too often, I wonder if we did the “right” thing.

     Alright, now onto more pertinent topics: Obviously, for any of you paying attention, this should have been done last week. However, it was Labor Day weekend, which leads to a shortened week, along with different band practices, and another person with me at home, things got a little discombobulated. Wow! I spelled that right the first time! Anyway: It’s amazing to me how little things, being just a little different from what they’re “used to” being, can cause so many other little things, to go awry. Groceries get pushed to Tuesday, which makes it “feel” like Monday. JoZ practice on Wednesday, makes it “feel” like Thursday. We had leftovers in the fridge that needed eaten, so on Thursday, I decided to make us a nice lunch, since we wouldn’t be having dinner together. Next thing I knew, I didn’t have time to write. It feels so long ago, I can’t even remember what excuse I gave myself for Friday. It was a good one, I’m sure. I knew I’d eventually have time. And due to circumstances, I’ll more than likely disclose with you tomorrow, today is the eventuality of last week’s post. As usual, I will try my best to keep it in order, but alas, as mentioned, so much has already happened, it may strain my psyche to do so! I struggled with the idea of doing what would’ve been last week’s “Days.” But, when I looked them up, they were good, but it felt like “cheating.” I write on today’s topics, not last Thursday’s. I was also going to do this yesterday, so I looked them up, but again, due to circumstances to be named, and my feeling that I should “stick with what I’ve been doing,” I decided to go with the ones that are for today, the day I’m actually writing this, as is the norm, set forth by me. And, after hearing what I just heard, before I shut the TV off, it seems as though perhaps, today’s topics are more pertinent than expected, and a little freaky to boot.

     An hour or so before I began this, I heard that Charlie Kirk had been killed. You can look him up if you’re interested. I had seen some of his stuff online, and thought he was kind of annoying. Because of the kind of stuff I follow, I’d only ever seen him made to look stupid, but I didn’t really “know” who he was. Any loss of life is abhorrent. Except for those who have lived long and well, and are “ready.” So, when I read today’s topic, after hearing that, I thought: “Wow! How relevant.” Swap Ideas Day. The only thing I know about Kirk is that he would set up these debates for people with opposing ideas to talk to him about it. As mentioned earlier, I only ever saw footage of him being made a fool of, but, to each their own, and he was an example of the kind of idea swapping I think should be more abundant. No one seems to want to “talk” with the “other” side, and it seems now, more than ever, we need to swap ideas, not dictate. Sorry to Kirk’s family. TV dinners, all the rage back in the day, now are getting a little fancier. My wife had never had one. I got her one to try when we moved in. That was the first, and only, one she’s ever had. I cook a lot, so there’s no need. Most of the time. Port wine, I haven’t tried it, but it sounds interesting, and I plan on trying it, but not today. Anti-Junk Light sounds like something I’d be for. I’m not exactly sure what it stands for, but I like to look at the stars, and if “Junk Light” keeps me from seeing them better, then I’m definitely Anti-Junk Light! And then there’s Quiet Day. In a weird way it seems strange to be so vocal on Quiet Day. But seriously, some people need to shut the fuck up! However, I’m sure it’s there to remind us that we don’t need to talk, or be around noisiness, all the time. We need time to recover! Silence is a gift that far too few people appreciate. If you can’t sit with your own thoughts, then you need new thoughts.