The Scare Of Uncertainty

      Happy Red Wine Day! It’s also Bow Tie Day, Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day, Radio Commercials Day, and Cherry Turnover Day. Well, I won’t be having any red wine today. I don’t really care for it. I only had 1 ever that I thought tasted good. But, it turned my teeth, and all of the teeth of the people I was with, red. What’s worse is, for some reason, none of us knew, and all went out for after dinner drinks, looking like we had just eaten a sacrifice! It was embarrassing, and haven’t revisited the product. Bow ties, not a fan. Some people can rock them, but I’m not into things around my neck. I wouldn’t have any idea how to tie it, and, am not interested in learning. I had to look up Rainbow Bridge. Apparently, it has to do with pets who have “crossed over.” I have never thought about, or heard about it. I never once thought that my deceased pets were waiting for me somewhere. Plus, my pets have been gone so long, if there was a place to “wait,” it’s more natural for me to think that they’ve come back in by now. Not to say I “believe” in “reincarnation,” but it’s easier for me to believe that, than Shadow waiting for me to come to some celestial home. I know people love their pets, but I’ve lost every pet I’ve ever had, so it seems like it’s just part of the natural order of things. Radio Commercial Day! I spend a lot of my driving time trying to avoid them! Yes, I still listen to terrestrial radio. It seems weird to reminisce of a nuisance. Even as a voice actor, I still can’t stand commercials. Most of the time now, if I can’t avoid the commercial, I try to focus on the actor’s delivery, hence I feel I’m doing something. Akin to research. I’m not exactly sure what a Turnover is, and maybe some people would like a treat like that. But, I don’t like many sweets, and put it in that category.

     No practice again. For anyone. The Calvins’ singer is still in Greece. He gets back tonight. We’re playing our drummer’s 50^th birthday party on Sunday, at the drummer’s house, and we haven’t been in the same room as each other in over a month! We scheduled a practice for Saturday afternoon, just to shake some of the dust off. That’s probably a good thing. I was proud of us for having the balls to play it, even if we didn’t practice. They were willing to play it without rehearsal! Over a month! I was proud of them. I say “them,” because I stay ready. Singing, and drumming, are hard to practice on your own. I have to practice, or my callouses will heal, and that’s not good. Playing at 100 miles per hour, with your bare skin, on metal strings, can be a painful thing to “get used to.” On the Eruption side of things, Wagz sent a message out last week that his son’s football games are Thursdays, and wants to change practice days until the end of football season! Wow!? Furthermore, we have a gig! We just got asked to play a show in the beginning of October. Asked by a band that we hooked up 2 years ago! They’re finally reciprocating! I guess I can take them off the “list.” Much to my surprise, all of my bandmates said “yes.” I couldn’t believe it, that’s like a miracle. I had already booked all of our rehearsal times. I have to do it about 6 weeks out, to make sure we can get a room. I was also surprised that we all made ourselves very flexible with a new schedule. I was able to secure our new spots without much trouble, and now we’re all set to get ready for October 4^th! I’m stoked! This is almost exactly what I was hoping for, and they all said “yes!” It feels like we might be turning some kind of corner. It may seem pathetic to still want to be in a band at 52, but I like it.

     On the home front, things are a little weird. My wife was fired last Friday. We knew there was something going on. She had already been demoted, and they were asking her to fill out these really strange medical forms, which we questioned the legality of. Even her doctor wouldn’t fill it out! It was bizarre. And, they kept pushing this seemingly imaginary deadline to have it done. When she tried to go to the doctor, she found out her doctor wasn’t even in the system anymore, so she had to find a new doctor. There were a ton of extenuating circumstances, that I don’t really feel like going into right now, since she is home, and looking right at me as I type this. I keep smiling, as if nothing is going on, but she has to know I’d tell you, but I think she’s wondering “how much.” I just grinned again. Nothing to see here. Maybe I’ve said too much already. Let’s just say we are turning a new page of our own. So, like a lot of times, at least in my life, my bands, and my marriage, are starting new chapters at about the very same time. It’s freaky! I may have to get a job! She took this week as a “restructuring period,” which I get. We all need downtime. And, I do think it is important to have breaks between jobs. So, this week was a mini-vacation, a mini-staycay! We’re letting ourselves switch modes, reset, regroup, and rev-up for the major life changes about to occur. It’s a little scary, but we’ve been through this before, and lived. Even thrived, for a little bit. Things have to change, and change is scary. Well, I think uncertainty is the actual scary part. We make “changing” part of our life, so it’s not that menacing. However, anyone who’s ever tried to change anything, knows it comes with its own set of challenges. And, most of those challenges are there because of our old behaviors, and our resistance to making the new way, the way.

Still No Practice

      Happy Poet’s Day! It’s also Burger Day, Fentanyl Prevention Day, Spumoni Day, and Brazilian Blowout Day. Well, that’s a lot, and I’ve got a lot to get to, so let’s jump right in. Burger Day!? I just had an amazing burger on Monday, so I’ll count it. Homemade Patty Melts, with pepperoncini and grilled onions on Rye. It was one of the most delicious things I ever made. But do people really need reminded about burgers? Is there someone who would hear this and say: “Wow, it has been a while since I had a burger.”? I think you either eat them, or you don’t. I don’t think anyone is like: What’s that? Much like I am about the Brazilian Blowout. I think it’s a hair thing, but I don’t know. And, I care too much about my search history to look it up. If you feel like cluing me in, that’s fine. I am curious, just not curious enough. That could probably use an awareness day. Fentanyl prevention is obvious of huge concern. I often find myself wondering whether or not people know that they’re taking it. It’s one thing to know it’s bad, it’s another thing to know if you’re taking it. I know there are test kits, and I suppose if you’re going to use certain types of drugs, awareness is pivotal. People living with these types of people, should probably also be aware, so they can help if necessary. It’s a sad situation when people die trying to get “high.” Spumoni!? That’s a word I don’t hear very often. It may need a day. I remember enjoying it, but I’ve only ever had it probably twice in my life. This doesn’t make me want any, but I can see how, a curious person, may wish to know what it is, on a day such as this. Especially if you like sweet frozen desserts. I’ve had a gallon of ice cream in my freezer for 2 months! I’m not sure Spumoni counts as “ice cream,” but that’s how much I care about sweet frozen treats.

     I wouldn’t normally do this to you, but, since it’s Poet’s Day: I care too much to be silent, I dare not make a sound, when what you say, can make you pay, you must know who you’re around. It’s not so much the volume, nor the images it makes you see, but the closely held context, that’s meant to keep our speech free. If truth is made subjective, as if it has multiple sides, how can we discern what’s what, with the ebbing and flowing of tides? There, I kept it brief. As mentioned, I have a lot to get through. And, since we’re already this far into paragraph 2, I might as well start with today. No practice. Again! Wagz, the guitar player for the Eruption, broke his Xiphoid Process! I’ll let you look it up if you want, to save me a few words. The really weird thing is, that 5 years ago, when JoZ was having practice, we actually wrote a song about the Xiphoid Process. We do everything on the fly, so we didn’t really “write” it, as much as perform it. Back then, he said his was swollen, and mine was too. Mine still is. His too probably. But we joked about it, and then made a song about it, and 5 years later, he broke his! I played them the song while we were camping. New style camping, with Bluetooth speakers and cell phones. It was the rage! Does that count as coincidence? More on camping later. However, I received an invitation from Tom Griesgraber to see a new documentary, up in Encinitas. He plays the Chapman Stick. Look it up, it’s awesome! We saw him at the Fair a few years ago, and have pseudo-followed him since. He’s done the soundtrack for a new documentary called Prairie Prophecy, it’s premiering tonight, and we get to go! He’s playing a solo set before the film. We are excited! If I can’t play, I’m glad to experience something musical, and cultural.

     Now, camping: I don’t know where to start. I thought this could make a mini-series, but I’ve got one paragraph. It almost seemed hexed, but we had a great time. We were the first to arrive at the campsite. That was a first. Some people rent trailers, and have them dropped off ahead of time. When we got there, 1 trailer was already there. That was problem 1. There should have been 2 trailers. 1 guy had a map showing how we wanted them staged, and the other guy wouldn’t hear it, and left, with the trailer, so our drummer, and his family, had no place to stay. 1 of the usual families was taking their child to college, and couldn’t make it. Wagz, and his family, wouldn’t be there until Saturday morning, because of High School Football. And, another one of the family’s RV broke down halfway there, and couldn’t make it. So, night one there were only 4 families, and by “families,” I mean couples. All of our children have “aged out.” We are only close with one of those other couples. However, that kind of changed, because we got to spend some time together. It was a totally different vibe than usual. Some may say boring, but others of us, I think, felt more calm and connected. It was nice! Spending time with people we usually don’t. Friday, a few more people showed up. It still felt smaller, but was getting more familiar. By Saturday, we were almost up to full status. It felt more like years past, chaotic, but reassuring. No music got played, except through the Bluetooth. I found that odd, but we were working on cylinders, and not everyone was well. Then, to top it off, our drummer E, brought his daughter’s friend’s. They were sweet, theater kids, if that means anything to you. At night, near the fire, the only dog that was “allowed” to come, bit one of the little girls. The littlest of the girls. No blood, just a snap, but still! People were freaking out. Rightly so! I can’t imagine having to face the child’s parents. I want to call and see what happened, but don’t want to stir the pot.

Vacation Eve

      Happy Prosecco Day! It’s also Calligraphy Day, Lefthanders Day, Filet Mignon Day, and Ekka People’s Day. Good, it shouldn’t take too long to get past those. I will concede that last week, my wife asked, on her way home, if I “needed” anything. I told her it was IPA Day, and would like one. I think it was called Cosmic Mind Haze, I can’t remember. But it was the best IPA I’ve ever had. She picked a winner, and I hope to recognize it again in the future. Today’s are kind of lame. I don’t like Prosecco, it’s like drinking battery acid to me. I like Calligraphy. I’ve taken several classes, and used to enjoy it, but haven’t touched my pens in a long time. I heard they aren’t even teaching cursive anymore! Calligraphy probably has it even worse. Maybe it does need a day. Lefthanders? We already know they exist. I don’t think anyone’s like: “Why’s that guy using the wrong hand?” (Said in accent of your choice) (Mine was hillbilly) Filet Mignon Day! I wish I had known when I went shopping on Monday! And, since my wife is working from home today, I won’t be getting any special deliveries. Although, the pork chop we’re having for dinner looks like it could be related to a filet! I smoked it at my parent’s house on Sunday. I know it might seem weird, and Word won’t let me forget, that 2 people having a pork chop, doesn’t sound right. But, this is a massive pork chop! We are sharing it. I wrote correctly. I can’t wait! I had no idea what Ekka People’s Day was. I looked it up. Apparently, Ekka is a region in Australia, and they have a huge festival today. I looked no further. You can look it up if you so desire. The fact that something I never heard of, made their Top 5, leads me more towards the feeling that the site I look at for these things, may not be based right here in America. And, I’m fine with that.

     Yep, I went to my parent’s house on Sunday. This was a busy weekend. Friday was the peak of our heat spell. The news said to “make sure you check on your seniors.” They always recommend that. It hit me as kind of funny, so I texted my parents, that I was “checking in with my seniors.” They’re fine. But then, my mom said she’d like to have us over for dinner some Sunday, when we’re free. I wrote back: Is this Sunday too soon? She said it wasn’t, that it was perfect! So, I thought up a menu really quick, let her know, and she loved it. I was glad that we were invited. I usually invite ourselves over. We only stayed for a few hours. It was nice. Time to catch up, play with their dog, and smoke some pork chops! They were delicious! Which is why I’m so excited to get to have it again tonight. Saturday was crazy! Having our show cancelled helped we relax a little. There was a show at the Tower Bar that I wanted to go to at 3, and we were supposed to play the Bancroft at 6. So, I was going to try to see the 2 bands I wanted to see at the Tower, and then hurry over to the Bancroft, for our show at 6. However, since our show wasn’t happening, it took the urgency out of my day. Ah! I was also happy because one of my favorite local bands, Grahzny, got added to the Tower show! I feel like the stars aligned for me! We still wanted to get to the Bancroft around the same time, so we could represent, and support that show also. It was the weirdest thing: About half of the people at the Tower, which was decent, left at the same time as us, to go to the same place as us! When we got to the Bancroft, it was the same crowd that was with us at the Tower! It’s nice to be part of a community.

     Now we’re at today! A Wednesday. One day earlier than usual. Maybe that’s why the Official Days were so strange. That’s also why my wife is home today, she works from home on Wednesdays. Why a day early? Because, it is time for our annual camping trip! We leave tomorrow for San Clemente. I’ve been prepping all week. It’s finally tomorrow, I can’t wait! I’ve been making Pea Soup this afternoon. My house smells awesome! Let’s hope it actually makes it to the camp! We’re doing Souplantation theme again. Three years in a row! I guess that’s what we do now. For years, we never repeated. Although, it did seem like we picked “Mexican” a lot. Maybe people got tired of it. Which is also weird, because only 4 of the 50 of us are Mexican. Funny side note: My phone just alerted that it’s camping tomorrow! As I’m writing about it! Little things like that keep me going! Alright, I’m back. Last year, we broke a little part of our tent. One of 4 “hinges.” We were able to jimmy rig it with some duct tape, but I wanted to “fix” it before our trip this year. True to my fashion, I waited until the last minute. I was able to fix it. It was not easy. Way out of my pay grade, and the pay grade of the tools at my disposal. But, miraculously, it is fixed! I’ve pickled eggs, I have my whiskey portioned out, it’s on! Tomorrow, roll out of bed when we want, pack the car, and hit the road! She probably needs it more than I do. But, it’s always fun. Kids are all getting older. A bunch of them had kids at the same time, and now they’re all going off to college. We started this when they were like 5! It’s unbelievable to see how they’ve all grown up. Stella Mae used to babysit them, now they can legally drink! It’s weird! So, I did this today, to keep from having to cram it all in tomorrow, when I’m officially on vacation!

You Never Know What's Looming

      Happy Cycle To Work Day! It’s also Lighthouse Day, Handloom Day, Raspberries n’ Cream Day, and, my favorite: IPA, or India Pale Ale Day. I accidentally left the news on as I started, and they mentioned it’s also Purple Heart Day. I didn’t see that on the site I usually look at. I went and checked, I had to click on a few things, but it’s on there. It’s strange to me that it wouldn’t make the list of “headliners.” It’s odd to think that people who’ve received the Purple Heart, for being wounded in battle, wouldn’t rank as high as say, I don’t know, a handloom! Maybe if you’re in another part of the world, the handloom is all the rage. It may even be a godsend to have one. But here? I don’t know. Here’s a weird thing though: Last night/early this morning, I was having trouble sleeping. I’m still a little sick, and my throat was killing me. It was very hard to swallow, and with the post-nasal drip, I was not having fun. Only sleeping in short bursts. But, I kept having this recurring “dream” of the word “Loom” or “Loomis.” I wasn’t sure what it meant, or why it was sticking out so much. For some reason, I kept having this feeling it had to do with dentistry. When I woke up, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, after I finished my morning routine, I looked it up, to see if it could show some deeper meaning. It did not. I figured it was just some weird “dream” type thing, that had no meaning. But, I ended up looking at a whole bunch of “Looms” in the process. It meant nothing to me, until a few minutes ago, when I looked up the day of the year, before I began this, and lo and behold, what do I see? I see another picture of a loom, staring right back at me. Freaky! I got the chills. Weird shit!

     I’m not going to start making my own textiles, or anything, I just got a blast of curious energy. I’m sorry if you don’t have moments like that. I find them amazing. And, here we are, once again, starting the second paragraph, and I’m still trying to wrap up the first! Oh well, I had to tell you about the loom story, that was too freaky, especially on an item that I would have had nothing to say about, in pretty much any other situation. Cycle To Work Day seems to be trying to be something, more than it actually is. I don’t know where you are, but here, in San Diego, a lot of places are getting rid of parking, to make room for all of these cyclists, that are supposedly going to be taking to the streets. It’s been years now, people are fed up, and you know what one of the biggest concerns is? None of us are seeing more cyclists! They’re building these massive bike lanes, making parking nearly impossible, and none of us are seeing these cyclists. Spooky! Maybe it’s for the Future! (Imagine “Future” said in a spooky, echoey voice) I’m sure we’d all be healthier, but we’d have to live awfully close to where we work. And, side note, I don’t see them adding any extra “Bike Parking.” Where are all of these cyclists going to put their ride? Will that be in the future too!? I say this as a long-time cyclist. I am not anti-cyclist. I love riding. I’m just not sure there’s going to be a mass amount of people choosing that as their primary mode of transportation, any time soon. Who knows with gas prices!? No, I’m not going there. I’m already running out of room, and I haven’t even gotten to IPAs yet. I do like some, but not all, IPAs. It actually took me a while to realize that it is supposed to taste that way. I don’t like them enough to have one today, but it’s nice for people who might be curious.

     Now I’m not sure how to cram in all the stuff I was going to tell you today. 1) It’s hot! I wasn’t going to include that, but it deserves mention. 2) No practice again this week. I cancelled Eruption tonight because, as mentioned earlier, I’m still not 100%. Plus, I was supposed to have a gig this weekend with the Calvins. I wanted to save what’s left of my voice for the show. I am, after all, a semi-professional! However, Tuesday, right after I had my early “dinner,” I got a text from the Calvin’s singer, his girlfriend’s sister was just found dead in the tub. Not only was he cancelling practice, but he cancelled the gig as well. I was stunned. We hadn’t practiced in a month, so this show was going to be iffy anyway. He’s very close with his girlfriend, so I get it. She must be a wreck! I feel bad that I don’t even know the deceased’s name. I met her once, a few years ago. She came to one of our shows down in Chula Vista. I remember her being kind of cute, but not much else. I had trouble believing they were sisters. Gina, the singer’s girlfriend, used to live with her sister, and nanny for her nephew. Now, that nephew is motherless. I think she was barely 30! What a shame. They said she “fell asleep” in the tub. I haven’t gotten much information. I don’t need much information. I am a naturally curious person, so, I have questions, but I’m sure they’ll get answered in time. When I found out, Tuesday, the girl’s father hadn’t even been told yet. Fucked up! The girls used to live together, but had some kind of falling out about a year ago. Now, I’m remembering a conversation had at band practice about a month ago, where we were told that the sister was not doing good. Wasting away. You never know how serious it is when people are talking about things you don’t really know about. So, now I’m thinking about death again. Yay!