Working The Juggle

      Last Thursday of the month! Which means the summer is almost over. Although, here where I live, near San Diego, September is one of our hottest months. So, the calendar may look like summer is ending, but the heat will still be here for a while. It seems odd too, because when I was younger, I went to a lot of schools, and with the exception of the one time that I went to a year-round school, class always began the Tuesday after Labor Day. Now it seems like a lot of the schools have different start times, most of which seem to have already begun. I’m not sure where that idea came from. I think having a definitive marker, such as Labor Day, is a good thing. It’s a line in the sand. It’s the unofficial end of summer anyway, it seems fitting. Then people don’t have to try to remember when school starts again, it starts after Labor Day. The past few weeks, every time I’ve been around friends with school age children, they’re all asking about when the kids are going back to school. I’m like “wow,” I had no idea there was so much difference. I guess it doesn’t affect me much, I just thought it was weird. I guess it does help to know. There’s kind of a short cut that my wife and I take through the backstreets of a neighborhood. You have to drive slower, but there are a lot less lights, and it feels like a more direct route. However, it goes past a school. When the children aren’t there, it is a nice hack. When the children are there, it is a nightmare! The other day my wife found out the hard way that school was back in session. Had she known, she would’ve taken a different route. We were together in the car last week, and I was about to take the short cut, and she let me know it wasn’t safe anymore. I changed my mind. I guess while they’re in class is fine, but drop-off and pick-up? No Way!

     Speaking of Labor Day, this one’s got a little weirdness draped over it. We actually had the weekend open. Our friends, the Bessones, invited us over for Labor Day. That’s where we usually go for 3-day weekends. They have a pool, and a lot of cool friends. Originally it was for Labor Day, which we took to mean Monday. So, as mentioned, we were otherwise open. I texted my parents last week, to see if they wanted to get together, that’s when I found out that my mother was having her Atrial Valve repaired on Monday, and she was not sure how she would feel by the weekend. I have heard from her, the procedure went well, and she got home Tuesday evening. When we originally texted, she asked if we could wait to decide about getting together until Wednesday, so she could have time to see how she feels. I said “absolutely.” But now it’s Thursday, and I don’t feel like bothering her. It’s kind of weird because, Monday, I was a bit nervous. You never know what’s going to happen when they start messing around in there. I had to stop myself from thinking about what might go wrong. Wondering if I had already seen her for the last time. And now that she’s out, and alive, I’m like: “Oh, I don’t want to bother her.” I should go over. At least just to say “hi,” and “I love you,” in person. But, back to my point, I’m not sure what’s going on. I bought some stuff to make a kick-ass dinner on Saturday, assuming she wouldn’t be up for a total blow-out. I’ve got no problem with a quiet night at home. Next thing I know, Hustlers want to practice on Sunday. At 4! Geesh! I want to practice, I like practice, but now that it’s getting close to Football Season, I’m starting to wonder if this is a good fit. I like the songs, and the people, I like getting to play, but I’m not sure how I’ll like missing Football.

     Oh well, it is just a TV show, I can get the highlights later. But it’s kind of my wife and I’s thing. Watching Football! I’m not sure how she’s going to like it either. I think not too well. Anyway, I just found out this afternoon that the Bessone’s party got switched to Sunday! At 1! So now it’s like a repeat of 4^th of July, where I get to go for a little bit, then have to leave, then come back! It’s hard to acclimatize yourself to certain situations, when you have to keep changing locations. I’m secretly hoping someone changes their minds about practice. A couple of weeks ago it happened. The morning of too! Which rubbed me wrong. I set my alarm to get to practice on time only to find out, when I woke up, that people were ill! I woke up early for no reason! Well, this time I have a reason, a refreshing pool of a reason. It’d be different if there weren’t already so many questions. But there are. I’m willing to stick it out a little bit more, but I’m still not committed yet. I’m starting to understand the term “creative differences” a lot more now. Some people are just not going to see things the same way. That’s not “good” or “bad,” they’re just different. And I’m starting to wonder if that’s what’s going on here. I guess we’ll see. We just accepted a show on November 2, so that’s good. I’ve got JoZ tonight, so that’s good. I thought we were having full practice, but the drummer forgot it was back to school night. He said he’s volunteering for the theater department, so he has to go. I understand, I was a theater dad too. But now, unfortunately, my mind starts to wander to what that actually means, and how much time of his that’s going to take up. I want my friends to be “good,” engaged fathers, but I also want a drummer who wants to play, and is willing to work the juggle to keep things afloat.

Helping Hands

      Things are weird right now. Exciting, but weird. I guess I’ll start with last week. The party we played was pretty cool. The guy and his neighbor have an awesome set up. The host actually built a concert stage in his back yard! It was cool. I thought there’d be more people there, but it was still fun. The host was very gracious. I’ve known him for a while, but that was the most I ever hung out with him. He’s a very nice guy. We have many friends in common, and I was glad to be included. It was technically the 1^st of this event, so I imagine the next one will be better attended. The weather was great, and a lot of his friends were very polite. We felt welcomed right in. I thought it was weird that my bandmates were hanging around the backstage area. They could be seen by everybody, it felt odd. But, they are kind of odd, so I guess it fits. I thought it was also odd that one of our guitar players, we’ll call him George, showed up without his cow-punk attire on. He is always the one talking about being professional, and not wanting to play shows that aren’t in our genre. I didn’t bring it up, but I did take notice. I thought we agreed, as a band, to look a certain way, and it led me to wonder if he was lazy, or doing it out of spite. I only question it because, at our last gathering, we had to have “the talk.” I don’t like feeling this way about people, but sometimes I can’t help it. We played well, and all of the videos I’ve seen seem to agree. People said they couldn’t hear the background vocals, and the videos agreed with that too. It was their first time, so we’ll attribute that to the learning curve. We were supposed to record the next day, but, after I woke up early, some were “sick,” and decided not to.

     I was kind of bummed, because I do like to sleep in. My wife had made other plans, since I was going to be busy, so I spent the day alone, like usual. She went to help her mother clean out our daughter’s car. I’m not quite sure why our daughter never did it. She was in an accident back in January! I know her hand needed time to heal, but she healed in like a month and a half. The crumpled mess of a car has been sitting in the driveway for 7 months! And, it was full of crap! I guess she had been sneaking stuff out of her apartment, trying not to let her roommates know she was leaving. So, it was almost like someone had been living out of the car. I don’t know why our daughter has been lagging. Maybe she has some kind of mental block about it. Too afraid to deal with the reality. But something had to be done, so, my wife to the rescue. She was glad to help her mother out. Too bad she didn’t pass on that trait. Apparently, it was very emotional. Not only did it bring the whole thing back up, but there was a lot of broken glass, and blood everywhere, not fun knowing someone you love was in there. But it also sounded as if it was emotional, because there were some feelings of inadequate parenting, and how could we have raised her this way. And then also some emotion because this person we love was in a situation she really didn’t want to be in, and was in a way, keeping it to herself. We didn’t find out that she was staying at her grandmother’s house until this happened. So, all kinds of things were just ruffled up. But the car is cleaned out now, and they’re just waiting for an appointment with the scrap yard to come pick it up, I’m sure my mother-in-law is relieved. It was an eyesore, and she’s trying to get a new garage door, this was appreciated.

     I’m having Calvin’s practice tonight. Both my guitar players, Eruption and Calvins, have been out of town. The weeks really blend together when I don’t have practice. But, the Calvins have a show on Tuesday, so we need to practice. We’re playing the Casbah again, but on the mainstage this time! It should be cool. And now we’re at the weirdness: the Eruption is turning 20 this November. I was planning on throwing a good size shindig. It was looking like it might not be as grandiose as it could be, but we were still going to have an event. Then my wife got a text: “Did you see Josie’s post on FB.” I looked it up. And there it was in black and white: she has been in the hospital for 2 weeks and just got diagnosed with Leukemia. I’ve known Josie since she was 1. Her dad was my best friend, and basically the reason for my entire current friend groups. He passed in 2016. He made sure our daughter got to go to college. So, when I read this post, I was devastated. As I was reading it, her mom reached out to me. She said Josie has no health insurance, she needs a bone marrow transplant, and this will be devastating to her. She asked if we could get some bands to put on a fundraiser to help with some of the expenses. I told her I’d see what I could do. I messaged a few people, and it just so happens that the day that worked for everyone was the same weekend I was already planning to book! So now there is a huge fundraiser on November 15^th with all of the bands that I thought I wanted to play! This is turning into a huge event. We just got some good news about Josie’s status. I was asked to set up a Go Fund Me and it’s raised $2,700 in 3 days! Unbelievable! I set the modest goal at $3,000, ‘cause I wasn’t sure what to do, and we’ve already almost got it!

More Summer Fun

      I feel bad because I almost passed on this today. I don’t even have anything else going on, I just was going to push it. I don’t have practice tonight, so I won’t be busy tomorrow, so I thought I’d do this then. But then I’m like: What am I going to do then? Ridiculous! I might not have a tomorrow! I know that may sound grim, but it helps me realize I have to get things done when I can. There is a lot going on right now, so I have to take the moments when I can get them. I don’t like being disappointed in myself. And, I’m doing it, I didn’t push it, I should be glad, instead of being upset that I almost didn’t. It’s weird how we can trick ourselves. I like commas more than Word thinks I should, and I’m okay with that. I don’t know where to start because there seems to be so much to cover. I guess I’ll start with today. Wagz, the guitar player for the Eruption, is on a road trip with one of his childhood friends. He told us last week, so we knew ahead of time. I appreciate that. So, strangely enough, Susan, my wife, got a text from a friend that it’s her birthday today, she’s meeting a bunch of people at the La Mesa Car Show, and would like us to come. It will include pizza. I like pizza. So, now my wife sees this as some kind of cosmic coincidence, and we can go be social since we “haven’t been to the car show yet this year.” However, she has been several times, it’s just that “we” haven’t. Old cars are cool, but we almost never check them out. We see them while walking to the bar, and then watch them drive past the bar, but it’s not about old cars, it’s about being social. I find it interesting that “social” usually equates to “drunk.” But, I haven’t seen them in a while, and it’s free pizza! Chang!

     The show on Sunday was awesome! The place was packed. Although, I thought more could fit. I thought more would fit. We were playing with big name bands, and I thought it would be better attended. However, the same night there was a Jane’s Addiction concert, and a lot of people went to see that instead. I get it. They can see us every month. You can’t do that with Jane’s. But, even when we were trying to get people to buy pre-sale tickets, it seemed like interest was low. It was a daytime show on a Sunday afternoon, at the coolest new venue, but still, not much interest. I looked the headliner up. T.S.O.L maybe you’ve heard of them. They were big in the late ‘80s, early ‘90s. I had heard their name a lot, but never got turned on to them. I always thought I would look into them when I got a chance. A couple of years ago my friend, who owns Grand Ole Barbeque, had a private party with the original singer of T.S.O.L. I looked them up to see what to expect. I was surprised that it never made its way to my collection. When I went to the party, I was impressed by what I heard, and it was a fun night. I had no idea there was a new singer, or an old singer, until that night. Apparently, people really like the original singer. And that’s why there wasn’t much interest. I looked up their recent show before ours and I was like: Oh, no wonder. They don’t suck, it’s just not that good. I was expecting something a little more grandiose. Multiple people told me that we were the best band of the show. Multiple people! I’m not complaining, we had a ton of people there, and we sounded awesome. T.S.O.L only had a few more people than us. I probably won’t go see them again. And, the whole thing where we need to sell tickets ahead of time was a royal pain in the ass, that’s over!

     This Saturday the Hustlers are playing a huge backyard party. The owner of the house is the singer from Beta 7. They’re a local ska band that book a lot of shows. They’re cool guys, and good people to know. This is going to be epic! I’m very excited. It’s going to be like our own little festival. He and his neighbor have a huge piece of property, there’s going to be 5 bands, a pool, barbeque, everything you want in a summer party. I’m glad we’re doing it. The Calvins got asked, but turned it down. It would have been our third show in two weeks. We thought that was a bit much. Plus, it turns out that our guitar player, Kevin, went back to Ukraine on Monday, so he’s not even in town. Apparently, his son terminated his military contract but still doesn’t want to come home. Now he wants to join up with the Red Cross, or something like that. Kevin just wants to see his son. He’s been a nervous wreck since he left. Who can blame him? He’s stopped drinking and everything! I’m a little worried about him, but at the same time, this concerned, sober, Kevin is a lot less volatile. I hope he gets what he wants. Last time was a bust. It’s hard not to be concerned. Speaking of “concerned,” although not to the same level, tensions erupted last night at Hustlers practice! I knew things were getting tense. One of the guys is kind of acting like he’s in charge, and knows it all. It’s rubbing people the wrong way. I had heard a few grumblings, and there had been a few flare-ups, but it happened last night. We didn’t even really practice. Which kind of started the whole thing. We have a show in two days, and haven’t practiced! We don’t have it like that yet. I know I’ll be ready, but I hope others find time to practice on their own. 1 person wants new material, 5 people want a good show, you do the math.

All In The Name Of Progress

      I know it’s only been a week, but it feels like a really long time since I did this. Especially since, all things considered, I haven’t really done that much in the past week. Practice last week was awesome! It felt really good to get back to the Eruption. It was almost like no time had passed. Almost. There were a few rusty spots. Not so much on the new songs, which are almost not new at this point. But we dusted off some oldies, and they felt, well, old. We sounded good, and it felt good, but I have to say: It felt a little different. Last week was the first time all three of my bands practiced in the same week. The Calvins and the Heartbreak Hustlers both have short, upbeat songs. I’ve been pretty much only practicing those songs for a month now. So, much to my chagrin, the Eruption songs seemed a little… drawn out. Not that we’ll change anything, it was just a feeling I had. Some of the Eruption songs are the length of 2 of the other band’s songs. Not that it’s good or bad, just different. We’ve been playing these songs a long time, and I know some people like the longer jam vibe that we have. I’m excited to get it back out to people. I’ve been playing in front of so many people recently, and yet no one really knows what I do. I’m kind of becoming this enigma bass player, yet most people don’t know what I really do. It’s a little strange. I hope it changes soon. The Eruption are turning 20 in November, I hope to show people what we’ve been up to. I’m trying to put a show together. I reached out to the place we used to play often, Pete’s Place in La Mesa. They don’t have bands anymore, but we used to play there often. It’s kind of where people started to know us from. I hope we can get in.

     My wife and I are pretty tight with the owners. We used to live right across the street. So, we spent a lot more time in there than we should have. But, we made a lot of cool connections, so it is what it is. I was a little nervous to ask, since they don’t have bands anymore, and we don’t hang out there that much anymore. They haven’t responded yet. I’m taking that as a good sign. I half expected an immediate response saying “no.” But that hasn’t happened. That leads me to believe that they’re actually considering it, which makes me happy! I hope I’m not fooling myself. They could just not check their messages that often. But I like to think they’re considering it. We would get to play early. A lot of our friends will come. And, if we’re going to make someone a bunch of money, I’d rather it be friends of ours. I think it’ll be mutually beneficial. I hope they see it that way too. If not, I plan on reaching out to hopeful venue number 2 next week. I tried talking to the band about their druthers last week, but they all just kind of shrug and nod. I know they don’t want to play late. I don’t think our people want to be out late. So, it kind of limits our options. I thought if we played at a local brewery, it would be cool to have the Hustlers open. It would get exposure for my new band, but also expose people to my old band. I thought it felt like a win-win. However, last week at Hustlers practice our electric guitar player, George, said he doesn’t want us to play any mixed genre shows. I thought that was a little odd. Cow-punk is not that exclusive of a genre that we can only play with others like us. Sometimes, when he says things, I’m not so sure if he really thinks about what he’s saying.

     Oh well, I guess that’s part of the fun in being in different creative environments. A band that he fronts, that I used to be the bass player in, is playing tomorrow night. I’m interested in seeing how it goes. It may be a determining factor in the Hustlers. If he’s awesome, I’ll be a little more confident in his “opinion.” If he stinks, some of my suspicions may be confirmed. I don’t like that I feel that way, but it is a consideration. Lots of times actions speak louder than words, and I have a lot more respect for people who walk the walk. I used the Bolt Brewery show as a determining factor as well. We pulled it off! We did what we said we’d do. That’s good! But now things seem to be changing a little. So, I’m still in a holding pattern. I don’t like feeling that way, but we have to have a way to determine whether something’s a “right” fit or not, and too often, judgement can not be made by what people “say.” Anyway, I didn’t plan on spending the whole time on that. This past weekend I spent a lot of time alone. My sister-in-law left on Tuesday. So, my wife was with her the whole weekend. I get it, they want to spend time together while she’s in town. It makes me feel a little weird because my sister lives less than 10 minutes from me, and I don’t even run into her at the store. Actually, I’m not even sure that she goes to the store. She did come see the Hustlers though, that was cool. I think my water just came back on. It’s been off all day, they’re repairing some kind of leak. Nothing like having no water to make you realize how nice it is to have some. And how much you actually use. My dishes have been piling up since breakfast. I don’t like that. Oh well, all in the name of progress!

Hot, August Days

      Happy August! It’s so rare that I get to do one of these at the beginning of a month, I thought I’d take advantage. It’s really starting to feel like August, hot and humid. I really don’t know how the people in the southern states do it. I’m sure there’s some level of “getting used to it,” but when I see them being interviewed on the news, they don’t look like they’re “used” to it. I guess in that situation, you know that everyone is going to be sweaty, so you just roll with it. I’m glad it doesn’t get that bad here. That’d be worth a move! It’s hard to imagine before air conditioning. I know we keep hearing about climate change, and the hottest years on record, so maybe it wasn’t all that bad back in the day, but I have to imagine it was. There are still a lot of homes around here that don’t have air conditioning. Mostly old homes, but still, it’s strange to think that now, all new homes probably have it. It’s expensive! We keep our house barely tolerable, so we don’t rack up a huge bill, just enough to take the misery away. I hope the studio has A/C tonight. We had practice a month or so ago, and there wasn’t, it was nasty! I’m glad I get to jam with the Eruption again tonight! It’s been over a month! I feel like it’s been forever. 6 weeks can feel like forever these days. I have so much going on it’s hard to keep it all straight. I’m glad the Olympics are on. I enjoy watching the events that usually don’t get much airtime here. I heard someone on the radio once say that he finds it “stupid” that every four years people get all excited about watching things that they would never normally watch. And to that I say: That is the excitement! Things we normally don’t get to see, is what makes it worth watching!

     We were over at my mother-in-law’s house the other day.  My sister-in-law is in town with her daughter, so we’ve been spending time over there. They don’t have cable, and have not subscribed to Peacock, so getting to watch any of the Olympics over there is a challenge. A friend of the family was over too. She’s best friends with my mother-in-law. She’s a nice person. When we were trying to find something to watch, she remarked: “Oh, those aren’t even Americans playing, so it doesn’t matter.” I found that idea strange. That some people only want to see “Americans.” As mentioned earlier, I like watching the sports I don’t know that well. I want to soak in as much as I can. I can’t imagine just wanting to see if the USA does well. I can get that on the news. I find Rugby Sevens terribly interesting. I’d watch every match. I might want to go see it when the Olympics are in LA next time. I think that would be fun! A couple of years ago they had the Rugby Sevens tournament here, but I didn’t know too much about it, so I didn’t go. I wanted to, but things were really tight back then. When I tried to find out when it was going to happen again, I learned that it moves around, and is not scheduled to come back here. I wish I had known. Oh well, you live and you learn. Hopefully! I wasn’t as into it back then as I am now. I can’t imagine squandering the possibility now. I’m glad we have cable for it. Being able to see all the different stuff is fun. I’m trying not to watch too much, but I get caught up sometimes. The other night I stayed up way too late enthralled in doubles badminton! That’s when you know you might have a problem! Just, kind of, kidding. I was fascinated by it, but I’m not willing to admit I have a problem. Yet. There is nothing wrong with watching badminton!

     The gig last Saturday was awesome! It had its hiccups. We were supposed to start at 2. We got there at 1 to set up. I heard the sound team was getting there at 12:30, thinking when we got there, we would just set up and soundcheck. That wasn’t the case. I got to help set up some pop-ups, while I waited. We started soundcheck around 2:20. And, just as we were about to start the performance, the soundboard died! There was a lot of tension. Luckily, the promoter lived close and had another board at home, so they ran home and got it. We started playing at 3, just a little late. There was a good amount of people there to see us. I felt bad for them hanging around, waiting. The weather was nice, we got lucky. One of the bands made hand powered fans with their logo. I thought that was good marketing, and a good idea passing them out for free. As for the query I posed last week, I’d have to say that more of “my” friends showed up for the Calvins. There were quite a few people there for the Hustlers, but as “my’ friends go, they all started showing up close to six, when the Calvins were supposed to start. I couldn’t believe how many people were there. It really felt like we were the draw. So many people dancing, and singing along! Monday, when I checked social media, there were so many videos of us floating around, I couldn’t see them all. Plus, it was all basically the same thing, no real need to watch the same performance from 10 vantage points. Also, after the Hustlers were done, people were saying they couldn’t really hear the singing. People liked it, and said they couldn’t wait to hear us at a real venue, to see what we really sound like. But, when I watched the Hustlers videos, I thought we sounded good. I don’t know what all the complaining was about. Oh well!