Getting Better Gigs

      This has been a little bit of a weird week. Everything got cancelled. Well, not everything, but it can still feel that way. I’m not sure where to begin, and my phone just started getting blown up, so I’m a little distracted. I’ll try to focus. It’s good news! The Calvins got offered a gig at the Holding Company in OB. It’s a newer venue, I haven’t been yet, but everyone seems very excited about it, and I’ve heard lots of good reviews. It’s set for Sunday May 19^th. An afternoon show in OB! It should be epic. However, we had already accepted a show at a different venue for May 24^th. Generally, it is not a good idea to have shows close together. Why would people come see you at venue A if they can see you at venue B on Friday? I guess it depends where you are. The people near OB probably won’t travel out to see us in Spring Valley. However, people from Spring Valley may come see us at OB because it’s a cool new venue, and OB is cool. So, we really only want to play about once a month. I’ve heard other people say every 6 weeks, but if you don’t play often enough, people will forget they heard of you, so it’s a delicate balance. We’ve been telling ourselves that we don’t want to play more often, unless of course, it’s a cool gig. Well, it just so happens that these are both good gigs, with people who draw. One of our goals is to get to play in front of other people’s fans. That’s really one of the only ways to get new fans. I was going to be bummed if we had to turn down the show for the 24^th. That’ll be at the Bancroft in Spring Valley. The line-up is killer, with some of our friends, and I was the one who booked the show, so I didn’t want to cancel. We would not have cancelled the OB show.

     The Holding Company is becoming a huge draw, so we would not have turned down a chance to get in there. Well, I guess that’s not necessarily true, we did turn down a chance to play there before, but since then, it has grown in status, and we’ve changed our mind on the importance of getting in there. I think the problem before was that we had to use other people’s gear. I don’t care. I’m glad to not have to lug my stuff around, and a lot of times they have better stuff than I do, so it’s a gift. Our guitar player, and drummer, do not agree. However, I think they’re coming around, we don’t want to be “Prima Donnas,” and we don’t want to exclude ourselves from cool gigs. It seems like once you’re in, you’re in! But now we’re stuck in this situation where we’re not suppose to advertise about the Bancroft show until after the Holding Company show. As mentioned before, the Holding Company would prefer people come see us there, that’s how they make money. And it kind of makes me feel bad about the Bancroft, because that’s how they make money too. Plus, the owner of the Bancroft is a friend, so it’s kind of jacked up. But you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m going to think of it as a Sunday show for our beach friends, and a Friday show for our East County friends. Another band we know, called War Fever, just played the Holding Company on Friday, and then the Tower Bar on Saturday, so I know it happens. The venues know it happens too. The trick is to be cool about it, and it seems like we already have a plan, so as mentioned, I think we’ll be fine. Hopefully both venues have a great night. I just think it’s awesome to have two killer gigs the same week! Especially after having to cancel a gig this weekend. We were supposed to play this Sunday but, no.

     About 6-8 weeks ago, our guitarists’ son, who is recently 21, decided to go fight in Ukraine. He has no military training, and does not speak Ukrainian. He just decided to go help. I guess his life is not going the way he wants, so he’s trying something new. He feels called to do so, and so he just left. Needless to say, although I still will, his father is a wreck! How could you not be? War is not a place anyone should find themself. It’s hard to believe this is still an answer for people. But, we’ll get to that at another time. Our guitar player, Kevin, decided to go try to see him. He left on Saturday, and is supposedly going to be gone 10 days, so he couldn’t make the gig this weekend. It sucked to have to cancel, but this was the only flight he could get. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to get to see him. Ballsy move! I think Kevin feels that he might be able to talk his son out of staying there, and bring him home. But, his son told him not to come. So the entire trip may be for naught. I feel so bad for him. It’s fucking scary! Now 2 people I care about are over where bombs are getting dropped. This sucks. He’s not keeping in touch with us, so we don’t even know what’s going on, I just hope they’re both safe. I hope they get to see each other. It really makes all the other stuff that goes on seem not that important. But, since I have a few more words to go, I’ll finish what I started: Eruption practice also got cancelled this week because our guitar player got stuck in a layover in Denver. We made plans to have dinner with my parents on Friday, but they had to cancel, due to some medical procedure for my dad. So, what was going to be another packed weekend has just opened up. Ahhh.

Now We're Dog Sitters?

      I’m pretty excited today. Tonight, we’re going to see Primus, Puscifer, and A Perfect Circle. I’ve seen Primus several times, but I’ve never seen the other two. I like Tool a great deal, but I’ve never really gotten into Maynard’s other projects. I did buy the first A Perfect Circle album, but I only listened a hand full of times. I had heard of Puscifer but never really heard any of it. Last night while I was finishing off the night I decided to give them a listen. It was pretty good. I had a moment when I was so enthralled, I forgot what I was listening to, and when I looked it up, and realized I was going to see them today, I was stoked. That stoked-ness has carried on to today. We weren’t even going to go to see the show. As I mentioned, I’ve seen Primus, and wasn’t really into the other two, but our friend had already bought tickets, and wanted us to go with him. We decided to oblige, especially since it’s at a new venue called the Rady Children’s Shell. We’ve never been there, and we hear it’s pretty cool, so what the heck: New Experience! Now it’s turning into this whole thing where we’re having dinner and what not. I guess it’ll be cool. But we just hung out with him last weekend, and now tonight!? This’ll be the most time I’ve ever hung out with him in a single week. Plus, he’s bringing a lady he’s no longer dating, so I’m not sure how weird it could get. They’re “friends” still, so it shouldn’t be a problem. I’ve met her a couple of times, and she seems cool enough. Quieter than me, so that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s also cool because my wife has tomorrow off. So, this is the start of our 3-day weekend!  A weekend that we’ll be spending with my parents. We’ve been trying to make sure we see them at least once a month, and this was the only weekend we had free this month, so it’s on!

     Last weekend was a bit odd. We were house/dog sitting for some friends. They have two dogs, one of which is getting old. They say he’s 13. Apparently, he does not do well at the kennel. We’ve met the dogs several times, but have never really spent any “quality” time with them. I thought it was a little weird that they asked, we’ve never “talked dog” with them before. I was glad to be asked. It’s nice to be trusted, especially when it comes to things that people care a lot about. The older dog’s name is Junior, and the other one’s name is Willy, in case it matters. They are not the same breed. Junior is a Collie type mutt, and Willy is a Basset Hound type mutt. Sorry if that seemed “out of nowhere,” but I often feel like I might not be giving you enough detail, so I’m trying to get better at that. Now perhaps you can picture them in your head. They wanted us to stay at their house while they were gone. They went to Mexico for a music festival. Junior usually needs to go out around 3:30 am, so it was important that someone be there. It was odd living in someone else’s house. We’d been there for several parties, but had never really spent any extended amount of time there. They have a pool. I wish the weather had been better. The dogs are very sweet. We did not have a bit of trouble with them. But they are used to sleeping with people, and we are not used to sleeping with dogs. They really wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. When we were getting the run-down from our friends, they said that my wife and I may need to sleep in separate rooms, if it got too uncomfortable. I thought they were joking. They were not. I found it very difficult to sleep with the extra bodies on the bed. Luckily, they had another room. Apparently, the dogs prefer to sleep on the largest bed. Figures!

     It was also weird because we cook a lot of our own food. So, it was strange to try and decide how many groceries to take. Getting used to someone else’s kitchen was odd. But we made the most of it. It was kind of fun. It made us hyper aware that we don’t really want dogs. We talk about dogs a lot. We are animal lovers. But after having that trial run, it kind of cemented the idea that we just like to talk about it, we are not getting any. Although, I will say, after we got home Tuesday, I kind of missed them. Especially Willy! That guy was pretty funny. It was also strange because the Calvins had a huge show on Sunday. Man, it was one of the coolest gigs I’ve ever played! It was a skate contest at the OB pier parking lot. Our backs were to the surf, so everyone watching us got to see the waves crashing behind us, while we got to see a bunch of people watching us while a skateboard competition was going on behind them. It was so cool! There were so many people, it was out of control. It was a little hard to hear ourselves on stage, but it was the best show ever. I heard some video recordings, and we sounded fine to the audience, we just didn’t take enough time to get ourselves situated. By the time we were about to hit the stage, the event was already over an hour behind. And, what’s worse, just as we were setting up, the rain clouds came. It started raining! They were about to pull the plug, and we thought we weren’t going to get to play. But it looked like just one big rain cloud, so we kept setting up, hoping it would stop. And it did! Seriously, there was like 7 minutes of rain and then it was a beautiful day again. But, all day, I felt guilty about abandoning the dogs.

Information Day

      Happy Information Day! I still think it’s funny, even though I don’t think anyone dials 411 for information anymore. I know we should try to learn every day, but I think it might be nice to have a specific day set aside to learn something. The more information the better. Although now it’s so easy to learn things, I doubt it would be appreciated as much as it should be. Especially now that there is so much conflicting information out there. It’s almost impossible to know if what you’re reading is correct. Just like some of the images that pop up on my feed, it’s hard to tell whether they’re real or not. It’s an interesting time to be alive. I try to keep up on current events, even though I try not to let them bother me. It’s hard not to. So many things that are happening really tick me off. Impartiality is by no means easy. People often say: “You have to choose your battles.” But I feel, unfortunately, that everything is becoming a battle. It feels like people are just going around looking for things to be offended by. I can’t quite comprehend it. To be in conflict a lot of the time seems so exhausting. And I do know that for some it dissipates. I used to think that keeping my fire burning was important. By that, I mean that I would try to keep a certain amount of anger in me, to make sure I stayed passionate. I thought being upset, and having things I care about, helped me keep my edge. But, as I got older, it became clear that I don’t wish to spend my time thinking about things that upset me. It still happens sometimes, and I have to remind myself that I prefer to think happy thoughts. That’s not always easy when you’re “keeping up on current events.” The guitar player for the Eruption often takes long breaks from “current events,” because he gets so upset, and doesn’t want to feel that way.

     I suppose that’s part of the maturation process, stop being pissed off all the time. If you can identify what’s causing your current emotion, and there’s something you can do, or keep from doing, to stop it, then you usually will. And, I feel unfortunate for a lot of people that at this current state of our union there is no lack of available excuses for people’s current emotional state. It feels like at times people are literally coming out of the woodwork with new ways for you to be triggered. People inventing new reasons for you to be uneased. It’s as if somehow the world will work better if we’re all in a constant state of unease. They want us to be triggered. If we’re triggered, we’ll fall in line. If we’re triggered, maybe they’ll put us on meds to “help.” Maybe if we’re on those meds we’ll feel “better.” And maybe, just maybe, if we feel “better,” we’ll just stay in line doing as we’re supposed to do. How fantastic for them. If we weren’t so afraid of each other, what would we pay them to do? If we didn’t need them to protect us from each other, what would they do? It’s okay to be upset by an upsetting situation. And being made to feel that every choice is an upsetting situation is not helping anyone. Better emotional intelligence is needed. Not more drugs. If we were taught to be more mindful of our emotions, then we’d recognize our current emotion sooner. Then we’d be better able to handle the situation with the tools that we’ve learned. But it doesn’t seem that people are interested. People seem to like hearing that they have a problem. It’s starting to feel that if you don’t have some letters attributed to your personality then you’re not normal. I know some people are actually ill, but for a lot of other people it’s becoming this mass excuse. People just don’t want it to be their fault.

     Credit and blame have an interesting relationship to me. Both are considered points of view of “Fault.” People love to be at “fault” for something “good,” and will pretend not to know what you’re talking about if they’re at “fault” for something “bad.” I think that seems to be another aspect of the maturation process, accepting fault. Being gracious with accolades, instead of expecting them, and owning errors, instead of denying them. I’ve never met anyone in a leadership position that would hope someone would hide and deny their errors. We all know several who have done that, but none that would hope someone else would. Most intelligent people want to know the problem right away so it can become “fixed” before growing out of control. Most intelligent people would want to know that you are unsure, or unable, so you can get the proper training, before, or after, an error is made. But people seem terrified of being honest. People seem to have taken “fake it ‘til you make it” as truth. They don’t speak up, they don’t ask questions, fearful that you’ll find out they “don’t know.” However, at the same time, will have no problem whatsoever saying “I don’t know,” when confronted about the error! It makes no sense. Which is another reason it might be a good idea to have an Information Day. Wow, that really came around full circle! I had no idea I was going there. A day where it’s okay to admit we don’t know something. A day where we give people the information that it is okay to not know. All intelligence is moving from a state of not knowing to a state of knowing. We always start off ignorant, and then we grow. The inability to admit lack of knowledge doesn’t make you smart, it makes you a liar, and dangerous. Curiosity is one of our greatest gifts. And some people may need told that it’s okay not to know, but it’s not okay to recognize that, and do nothing about it.

Feeling Aligned

      Finally, another Eruption practice tonight! I’m stoked! 2 practices in 6 months. I guess that’s something to be happy about. I often get caught up in thoughts about how often we’re not practicing, but today, I’m thinking about how cool it is that we get to. I can’t believe it’s April already. I must be having fun, because a third of the year is over, and I feel like it just begun. I’m also stoked because I get my car back tomorrow! I got the call a little bit ago. Yay! I find it interesting that they quoted me between $2,800 and $4,800, and the total is $3,800, right between the other 2. Coincidence? When they gave me the original quote, I was going to try to talk them down, see if I could get out of it cheaper than what they recommended. But after thinking about it, my wife and I were like: “We want it to work good for a while longer.” So, we went with the recommendations. I’m not getting a car for 4k! Plus, I like my car. Hopefully it’ll pass smog, and we’ll be well on our way towards a better driving future. The really cool thing is: We are going to have to put it on a credit card. We’ve only been using 1 card for a while now. Its limit is not that high, so it wouldn’t have worked. But we just recently got an offer for a credit card through our mortgage company. We got approved, and received the card about a month ago. It has a pretty high limit, and a pretty low interest rate. So, we are stoked! Then, about a week or so ago, we got a pretty big check. My father-in-law was part of a class action suit involved with the Paradise Fire a few years ago. The pay out is ready, and since he passed, his daughters are getting his share. So, we just got enough money to be able to pay for the car! Life is often amazing!

     On a similar note: I’d like to revisit something I was writing to you about on Pi Day. I had mentioned a “friend” who posted about Pi Day, and received some nerd backlash. I had some curiosity about why he was often posting math problems, along with their solutions. Only a few days after I wrote that, he posted some message about being in school, and finding interest in this particular class. I got the answers to my questions! It really felt like the Universe was listening. I know some people think their devices are listening to them, and they don’t get a warm fuzzy feeling. But, when it feels like the Universe is listening to you, it’s a very warm and fuzzy feeling! Even if it’s something as trivial as that, I still get just as much validation. Well maybe not “as much.” There are times when I feel listened to so much that tears pour out of my eyes. This did not provoke tears, but was validating none the less. I often wonder how many times people feel this way, or have these types of feelings, but don’t allow themselves to acknowledge them. I promise you, our world would be quite a different place if more people felt the Universe was listening to them. And I have concern that people are talking themselves out of the feeling that they get. I hope you know what I mean. And, to make it even more “whatever,” after I wrote the piece I’m talking about, his band got added to the festival we played last Saturday! What are the chances!? We got to the festival early, to see them, they were first. They were awesome! I had listened to a couple of their songs online, to see what to expect, and it wasn’t even close. They were much better live. We got to talk a little bit, and he stayed to watch us. It was such a weird little bit of synchronicity, I had this curiosity, and then answers.

     I have to keep my mind from going crazy. I start thinking: “Are we supposed to be friends?” “Why would this happen?” And, I have to remind myself that it’s probably more along the lines of just getting that feeling. It doesn’t have to “mean” anything. I had questions, answers were provided, isn’t life cool sometimes?! Probably more often than we care to recognize, but when we do, man, it is awesome, and I am grateful to be paying attention. Anyway: the festival went well. We got to play with one of my favorite bands, so that made it extra cool. There were 9 bands, and I thought it became obvious who people were there to see. Luckily, we were one of them. I had never been filmed so much in my life. The place was packed! I felt like I was playing to the paparazzi! I looked out into a sea of cameras, it was nuts! The band before us had a lot of people too, that may have helped. But it was so strange because, I don’t know where people were going. There was a good crowd for the first band, then people vanished for the next 2. The venue is not in an area with other establishments around, so it’s not like they could just go next door. Maybe they were sitting in their cars, I don’t know. All of a sudden, when a good band came on, the people all showed back up. It was bizarre! And I am very glad to have been in one of the bands that people were there to see. It felt awkward when one of the “less practiced” bands was playing to an empty house, which was full minutes ago. There were about 3 bands where I was like: “What the fuck is this?” I try not to judge, but when I actually want a band to stop playing, there’s a problem. Especially when I’m not the only one. It feels good to be over that stage.