Number 52!

      Last one of the year! I’m quite happy about that. It’s so easy to just kind of pass on things, but I didn’t, I made it the whole year. I’m stoked! And I hope this is a trend that continues. I hope to have more exciting things to tell you about. On my social media feed, it reminded me that I was in Mexico for the holidays last year. It seems like a lot longer than a year ago. I know they say that time flies when you’re having fun, I don’t want to think about the reasons why this past year seemed to last a long time. But of course, as soon as I type it, I start to think about it. It’s not that we weren’t having fun, but some serious stuff went down. My wife lost her father in February. That’ll put a drag on things. Dealing with family drama, and trauma, will put a drag on things. Organizing a funeral will put a drag on things. Asking our daughter to step up or step out put a drag on things. My wife not being able to drive put a drag on things. Even at my most recent comedy show, when they asked when I took the class, I was blown away at the idea that it was only last year that I started this new journey. A lot has happened. And I guess we’re all the better for it. Perhaps it has something to do with coming out of lock down. Stuck inside for nearly 2 years, time seemed to fly. Now with the world getting back to a more “normal” state, perhaps all of the activity is making it seem like a lot of time has passed. That’s what I’m going with. As soon as I typed it, and re-read it, I had the feeling of it making sense. Nothing for 2 years, and then all of a sudden, something to do almost every weekend. That’ll make 52 weeks feel more like 104.

     Christmas was pretty good. My wife’s sister was in town with her children. They came in Friday, and left on Tuesday. My wife was very excited to see her sister, and her nephews. She wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. I accommodated. They stayed with my mother-in-law. It’s only a 20-minute trip, so we shuffled back and forth quite a bit. It was a bit of a madhouse over there. The 2 boys, 1 about to be 5, and the other about to be 3, are both on the spectrum. I don’t know how my sister-in-law does it. They’re sweet boys, for the most part, but it is still a lot to handle. And she does it all with a smile on her face. For the most part. It’s a lot of work. 2 little balls of energy without the ability to communicate or self-edit. They have to constantly be watched. I was glad to be able to help. She also has 2 stepchildren, a boy 14, and a female 17. They are “regular” children, mostly well behaved, and able to help their stepmother. They do seem to bear the brunt of their stepmother’s frustration, but they’re teenagers, and probably don’t even notice it. I hugged them for the first time as we left after Christmas dinner. I’ve known them for about 7 years. I’ve probably seen them 6 times. I’m not a big hugger anyway. This trip I kind of felt sorry for them. They didn’t seem to mind all the chaos, but I felt they might get ignored. I don’t know how everyone can get their needs met, when 2 of the 4 require a lot more attention. My wife made the teenagers stand up and hug her. I was right there. I said: “You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to.” They kind of shrugged, like it was no big deal. So, I hugged them. What the heck.  

     My parents, and sister, came over to my mother-in-law’s for Christmas dinner also. Let them enjoy a little bit of the chaos. It was good to see them. We went over to their house for Christmas Eve. It was a little strange though, because we usually stay the night, but this year my mom said we couldn’t. She even offered to pay for our Uber, but I said I can take it easy. That was strange. Plus cancelling on us for her birthday, I’m not sure what’s going on. I know she’s having some kind of back trouble, but that doesn’t explain everything. Now we’re invited over for a New Year’s staycation. So, hopefully we’ll get some more info. It’s mostly fun hanging with them. Plus, they only live 7 minutes from us, and we still barely see them. So, when we get the chance, we make it last. Especially since, and I know it’s scary to mention, we don’t know how many more of these opportunities we’ll get. Sometimes I feel guilty for not seeing them more, but we were so apart for so long, we never really got in the habit of seeing each other regularly. Plus, none of us live very exciting lives, so there’s not much to catch up on. Retired people who rarely leave the house, and whatever it is you’d call me, don’t really have a lot to say. But I still like to spend time with them, and am excited about this weekend. We get to play some of my games, I love willing guinea pigs. We’re already working on the menu, which is another one of my favorite parts, cooking. It should be fun. We got invited to 2 other parties, but this just seemed to be the best fit. In lighter news: I finally got a video of my most recent comedy performance. They posted it on YouTube. I was reluctant to share it because of various reasons, but I did. I hope people like it.

The Reason For The Season

      Happy Solstice! I think it’s weird that so many people have holidays centered around this event, and yet seem to somehow think it’s a coincidence. People have been celebrating this event for thousands of years, and yet it still doesn’t really get the recognition it deserves. Honestly, I think it will someday. It is after all, the constant. Religions will come and go, philosophies will come and go, but unless something really drastic happens, there will always be the shortest day of the year. Or the longest night, however you want to look at it. I find it to be a much more natural, observable, thing to celebrate. I hate to be the one to say it, but I think the Santa story is on its way out. So many split-home people, people without fireplaces, and just the amount of people, are going to make the story hard to sustain. Are kids really going to continue to believe that elves made their Play Station? It may have been fine back in the day of handmade toys, but now? It has to be dwindling. Kids are allegedly getting smarter. And it may still work on the ones too young to ask questions, but in general, the story doesn't hold up. The Santa we all recognize was a marketing gimmick in the first place. Now people don’t even want to say “Merry Christmas” anymore. I’m not sure exactly who’s the biggest detractor from it. I’m not married to the saying. I know it’s a phrase we grew up with. I know a lot of people don’t like change. And, even though they may be heathens, they still on some level think it has to do with Jesus. It’s as if they feel that removing the phrase “Christmas” from our annual greeting, pulls one of their founding blocks out from under them, causing everything to be a lie. It’s a tad ridiculous. Humans are going to continue to celebrate this time of year regardless of what the celebration might be called.

     It seems even more likely now, that we would possibly return to our natural ways. Commercialism is putting a lot of us off. And, it’s causing the lessor of us to act like fools trying to win favor with gifts. Fighting for the new toy, screaming at the cashier about something which they have no control over, and worst of all, creating a stressful environment when we’re “supposed to be” enjoying time with family and friends. I really don’t think feeling obligated is worth celebrating. Who’s actually gaining anything during the season? The retailers. I went to the mall the other day, just to do a lap, maybe get some ideas. I couldn’t believe how many storefronts were empty. Plus, there was almost nobody there. It was weird. Kind of eerie. I did not miss the crowd, but I couldn’t believe how little there was to look at. I suppose the bulk of people are doing their shopping online? Unless, like I was kind of getting to, they’re not shopping at all. People keep complaining about prices, maybe enough of us are like “never mind.” It seems to be becoming a gift card holiday anyway. After a while I imagine it will just stop all together. We may want to still send notes to each other, a reason to reach out, a reminder that we’re thinking about them, but I think the craziness will wane. Plus, since we’re such a melting pot here, and as the phrase “Happy Holidays” keeps gaining more momentum, we may find that eventually all the different “Holidays” will kind of blend into one big one, and it will be right around the solstice. At that point I feel like we will be finally getting back to our natural way of being. I feel our natural way of being was taken by the spread of Christianity. We no longer even know what we used to do, because the Christians went around destroying all of the evidence that would lead us to remember that we were not barbarians, we were of the Earth.

     Well, I certainly didn’t think I’d be writing all of that! I’m not down on “Christmas.” I think this is the most wonderful time of the year. I just wish it wasn’t all wrapped up in consumerism. I wish people would be more calm, and thankful. Be more at peace, and more loving. I think the sentiment is on point. I just wish we acted more like all the little happy sayings go. When I went to get groceries this week, the cashier asked how I was. I said “Good, how about you?” Then she goes into this whole thing about hating Mondays, and having to deal with all of the people who come in on Monday, because they wanted to avoid the weekend shoppers. I couldn’t believe she was so comfortable sharing this with me, someone she doesn’t know, doing the exact thing she’s complaining about. To my face. That didn’t seem like the holiday spirit. People don’t seem to be merrily skipping along, glad to be part of the celebration. That’s a bummer. I try to keep a good attitude all year long. I said try! If all the lights and decorations don’t make a difference, why still do it? Obligation? We only do minimal decorations at our home. It’s just the 2 of us, so we don’t have to try to keep up an image. But I do notice that it makes a little bit of a difference. New things to look at for a little while. Easing of the mood. Festive reminders of what we’re to be thankful for. I’m also a big proponent of the reminder that things are changing. We do not live in stasis. Things change. We need to be aware of those changes happening. And celebrations are a great way to remind ourselves. But we have to remind ourselves! It’s so easy to get caught up in the hoopla that for far too many of us, we actually forget what is the real reason for the season.

Incognito Looky-Loo

      Not much to report on today. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. Earlier today I had a package delivered to my house. I wasn’t expecting anything. So, I was a little caught off guard when the package was left on my porch. I also thought it was weird because my front door was open, with the screen door closed. It has been warmer outside than inside, so I’ve been letting the warm air in. It’s a lot cheaper that way. I thought I may have heard the guy say something, but I wasn’t quite sure. I just thought it was weird to not get the attention of the recipient, especially when they’re obviously home. I guess technically he did get my attention. And I suppose stopping and knocking at every door would be quite time consuming. So, I guess I’ll drop it. I went out to look at the package. Not expecting anything, I looked for the address first. It was misdelivered. We are number 32 and it was for number 34. The units are all marked, so I thought it was odd to have made a 2-home mistake. But hey, I get it, people get in a hurry. And, if you’re not familiar with the area, maybe it all looks the same, I don’t know. I was glad however, that it was only a 2-home error. Last year, we got a package that wasn’t even for our community. It was supposed to have been delivered to a place almost a mile away. That was mind boggling, because it really wasn’t our address. I drove that one to where it needed to be. The person was thankful. But, today, as I was about to take the package to my neighbor, a fire truck pulls up right in front of my house. Curiously I peeked through the window to see what was going on. And, it turns out, they had an ambulance with them, and they were taking away one of my neighbors from 31! I decided to wait a little.

     I couldn’t quite see as I was looking through the window who it was. A couple lives there. They are older. He’s the one who trimmed my bushes, that I told you about a couple of weeks ago. I’m not sure which one it was. I hope they’re okay. I think it must be, because they were gone in less than 10 minutes. I also thought it was strange that there were no lights or sirens. That also leads me to believe that it may have not been that serious. Although I know that you normally don’t get taken away by ambulance, there are times when it’s less severe, or at least not an “emergency.” That’s one of the reasons I decided to stay inside and let them do there thing. I know we’re all curious when we see something like that, but I don’t want to be one of the looky-loos, standing around trying to get details. I also don’t want to be part of the rumor mill, or God forbid, have one of my neighbors try to talk to me about what happened. I don’t like getting in the middle. I don’t want to get in the middle. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be around if something goes awry. Also, I thought it might look a little strange if “all of a sudden” I decide to deliver this package. “Oh, don’t mind me, I just decided to try to deliver this package in the middle of what could be an emergency situation.” I didn’t even need to go that way, but still, the truck was right in front of my house, I would have had to walk around it. I think it would look to much like I was trying to be an incognito looky-loo. “Oh, I don’t care what’s going on over there, I just thought right now would be an excellent time to deliver this misdelivered package.” I waited a few minutes after they left to take the package. I wasn’t sure if they were home or not, so I just left it near their door in an obvious place.

     There’s no practice this week. Well, no official practice. I still have to practice to keep my fingers calloused. If I go too long without playing, my fingers get soft, and I have to re-callous them. That sucks! Not many things hurt worse than playing your bass with brand new, fresh skin. My wrist was hurt last year, and I basically had to relearn how to play. I feel like I’ve been trying to get my fingers back into shape since then. I’m not going to let that happen again. Plus, we’re learning a new cover song, so I have something to dig into. It’s a Minor Threat song. It’s right up my alley. But I find myself wondering how I have lived my whole life without hearing it. I’ve heard the name Minor Threat often, but I never really got exposed to it. Now I’m like wow! It’s something I probably should have heard a long time ago. But there was no internet back then, and I had no friends, so it’s not likely that I would have gotten introduced. The Calvin’s drummer got Covid, which is why no practice this week. We scheduled it for today since I didn’t have Eruption practice, but he’s still not well. Good! Keep that shit away from me. It seems like a lot of people are still getting it. Our daughter got it the week after Thanksgiving! Plus, this seems to be knocking people down. The last time I heard of people getting Covid, it was like: “Eh, it wasn’t that bad.” This time people are down for a week. And I know it has been a big deal, and I know people were dying, but I’m talking about local, personal, accounts. Anyway, I’m all about not getting sick, so if that means no practice, then I’m all good. On another note, I was correct about the Eruption drummer as well. My other bandmates are busy the last 3 Thursdays of the year, so he has time to heal.

Am I Supposed To?

     So happy it’s Thursday! A guy my wife used to work with would say that every Thursday. He would usually preface it with the initials: S.H.I.T. It’s one of those old-man type jokes that just get annoying after a while. Come on, every Thursday?! He thought he was clever. Now, neither of us can hear, nor type, that phrase without thinking about him. He was an okay guy, but we’d never really be “friends.” Now the phrase usually gets met with an eyeroll, a bit of an exasperated “ugh,” and the word: “Julius.” Wow, I was about to go into a lot more information than you needed to know. Good thing I caught myself. This is not about him. But that’s what you get sometimes when you don’t have an agenda. It’s funny how words like “agenda” can be both good and bad, depending on how it affects you. It makes me think that the people who started the anti-agenda movement probably weren’t big planners, and thus thinking those who have a plan must be evil. It’s weird to think that people different than us must have something wrong with them. I’m a naturally curious person. When I encounter something unfamiliar, I usually become interested. Having never really been part of a “group,” I don’t really have an “us verses them” mentality. It’s also weird, since I’m here already, that the dynamic to which I was just referring to is changing a bit. It feels like, for the longest time, we did have this development happening where we’ve been programmed to think that different meant wrong. Although, now that I think about it, it seems like that has been changing. It feels like now, when people encounter a difference to themselves, they take the position that something must be wrong with themselves. Not everybody obviously, but I think a significant populace do. That could be one of the reasons that depression is running so rampant, people thinking that there’s something wrong with them because they aren’t like everyone else.

     Whoa! I did not know I was going there. I feel like I could keep going, but I’m afraid I might say something I’m not “supposed” to. “Supposed to” is another phrase I battle with. In general, I feel like “supposed to” is a bunch of rubbish. Says who? Is the supposition made by yourself or another? Yet, at the same time, I do feel like there are some certain things that should be done, and sometimes in a particular way. But, whenever I catch myself using “supposed to,” I am reminded that I don’t particularly subscribe to that sentiment. And now you know. Back to the beginning, I really am glad it’s Thursday. Tonight might very well be the last Eruption practice of the year. Although, it’s not really “Eruption” practice. Our drummer was in a car accident a couple of months ago, and so when he’s not around we have JoZ practice. We basically make stuff up to a drum machine. Or we use the drum machine to help us practice our parts for the Eruption. In the beginning, we didn’t have a drum machine, and we would just improvise anything we wanted to. It sounded a little bit like new-jazz, hence the word JoZ. (Imagine saying jazz in a pretentious voice) We have a lot of fun. It’s one thing when you’ve got work to get done, but it’s a whole other thing when you’re just having fun. There are no “supposed to’s” in JoZ. Anyway, I’m excited. Today is also the day that our drummer meets with his doctor to find out how much longer he’ll be out of commission. I hope he’s getting better. I’m sure he is, but whiplash can take a long time to heal from. And, since we already know we’re not practicing the next 2 weeks, that’ll only give us one chance before the end of the year. I don’t take pride in being a pessimist, but I have to say, this has got all the workings of: “Let’s just wait and see how I feel at the beginning of the year.” Which is fine. Heal!

     My birthday was on Sunday. It was pretty cool. My wife and I went out to dinner with my parents and sister. We went to a place called Café Sevilla. It’s a Spanish tapas restaurant. It was delicious. Some of the best ceviche I’ve ever had. We like being able to try a bunch of different things, and that place knocks it out of the park. I thought my parents had never had paella before, which was kind of the reason I picked it, for the experience. It turns out they had, but we had never had it together, so there you go. I thought it was weird because initially, they seemed very hesitant to the idea. It caught me off guard. My memory starts in Japan. Most of my life, I’ve lived with this idea of “try it.” I did not get that on my own! These people made me, and my sister, try everything. If you didn’t like it, you didn’t need to eat it all, but you had to try it. This has led me to be a very adventurous eater. I’ll try just about anything, and gravitate towards things I don’t know. I want to try new things! My sister, not quite so much. She’s getting better. Somehow my wife got her to try sushi about ten years ago, and now she seems to finally be coming around to the idea that we don’t like garbage. So far, I bet she’d be willing to say that she like’s everything we’ve exposed her to. And hopefully her life experience is becoming more broad. But the fact that my parents are apprehensive of trying new things now has got me flummoxed. Who are these people? We were “supposed to” have dinner with them yesterday for my mom’s birthday, which was actually on the 5^th. We’d been texting about it. All of a sudden, my dad calls yesterday to cancel. I know my mom is not always well, but it seemed so sudden. I decided not to ask what was wrong.