A Week's Worth Of Gigs

      Happy Thursday! I’m excited. I have practice tonight. We had a gig last weekend, we’re having practice tonight, and we have a gig this weekend! That is rare. Usually, for some reason, some people don’t want to practice after we’ve had a gig. But we are this week! Also, last week’s gig we only played for an hour, this weekend we’re playing for 2 hours, so we have to get the other hour ready. I hope it goes smooth. I think it will. They’re all songs we’ve played relatively recently, it’s not like we’re knocking the dust off any oldies. I’m glad my bandmates are willing. Sometimes, as I may have mentioned in the past, I feel resistance to playing out. But not this time! When everyone said yes, I was so happy. Plus, it’s kind of not just a gig, but a goodbye. This is a special occasion. Our friends opened 13 Point Brewing Co. 4 years ago, and unfortunately, do to circumstances I’m not fully aware of, they now have to close. It’s kind of a bummer. It was a cool place to hang out with friends, see bands, play games, drink beer, you know, whatever. But sadly, it all comes to an end this Saturday. They’re planning a big going out of business party. There were going to be several bands, but I guess the holiday weekend has a bunch of people out of town. So, it’s just us. It’s a little last minute, but I’m glad we can accommodate. Supposedly there’s a DJ from 2-4, then we’ll play from 5-7, with a little time left over for some kind of all-star jam, depending on who’s there. Those are usually fun, we have a lot of musician friends, and it’s always good to jam with those who are not afraid. Some people get kind of uptight about playing music they don’t know in front of a bunch of people. But luckily, we know quite a few that have no problem doing so.

      Last week’s gigs were awesome. Friday night the Eruption played Helix Brewing. There were a lot of people present. At first there was some kind of party, perhaps birthday, and we weren’t sure how long they’d stay. They had a bunch of little kids, and were sitting right by the “stage.” I say “stage” because there really isn’t a stage, more like a staging area, on the ground, in the back of the courtyard. Regardless, there were people sitting very close to where we were going to be making noise. That does not always go well. The reservation cards on their table said: “@ 3pm,” which made us think they had been there a while. We got there at 5 with intentions of going on at 6, and figured they’d clear out one way or another. They did. But they didn’t leave-leave, they just moved. We had that place packed! Probably half with people we know, and half we didn’t. it was awesome. There was a little funny business with the PA, but it all worked out well. We rocked. There were little kids dancing, it was all very “cute.” I say “cute,” because I don’t normally use that word, and can’t really think of how else to describe it at this moment. It was like they were infected, they couldn’t keep from grooving. That’s when you know you got it, people can’t help but move to it! It was slightly awkward, since we use obscenities occasionally, and don’t usually perform in front of children. But we pivoted well, to make ourselves feel better, and not offend. It was obvious that people were leaving when we were done. It could have been the time, but it sure didn’t feel like it. I kind of felt bad for the next band. There were still people present, but it was not the same. Now I’m curious whether that was there normal Friday, happy hour crew, or if we brought it. One bartender said that regulars told her we were the best band they’ve seen there. Nice!

     Saturday’s gig was awesome too. The Calvins played Belching Beaver Brewing up in Oceanside. It was at what’s becoming an annual festival known as O’side Fest. There were 9 punk bands. A band started every hour from 1-9. It was awesome. I attended last year, which was the first one, and I was stoked we got asked to play this year. It was so fun! My wife and I got up there early so we could see everybody. The sound was a lot better than last year. All the transitions were smooth. Everyone was on time. It was great. It was also packed! They weren’t really our fans though. Unfortunately, our fans would never drive an hour to see us. But that’s cool, we’re trying to get new fans. And there’s only one way to do that: play in front of new people. I think it worked, even if only slightly. We gained 8 new followers after that show. That’s something. We got a great time slot, right between the organizers and the regional favorite. We started at 7. After having been there all day, I do feel there were more people there for the 4-5 slots, but still, there were a lot of people. Again, it made me wonder if that’s just what their usual rush time is, or if those bands had a better draw. We had no draw, but plenty of people were stoked to see us. We actually ended up signing 2 CDs for people! That was a bit awkward, but still, it felt exciting. The last band was awesome! We had seen them a couple of times. They are next level. They were very excited to see us, and wanted to make sure to reach out to us so we could play some shows together in the future. That felt good! Seeing a band who is at the next level, and they recognize something in us!? That’s awesome! I hope we can work something out. Gigging with established acts? Okay!

Becoming A Better Doer

      I almost passed again today. There’s an interesting documentary on about UFOs that I was watching, but I figure, I have such a busy weekend that I might as well knock it out, just in case. I decided to turn the TV off. It seemed to work well last week, and there’s no way I could stay focused while they’re talking about what they’re talking about. I do watch, and read, quite a bit about the UFO phenomenon. Now they’re even calling it Unknown Aerial Phenomenon. Like maybe if they use a different word, or letters, we’ll stop considering them to be little green men. Although I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to assume their gender. I would not call myself a believer. I’m definitely open minded about the whole thing. There are a lot of videos coming out that make it seem like something is happening. Being science minded, I have to believe that it would take such a monumentous effort for any beings to traverse the Universe, that it doesn’t seem possible that “they” keep coming here. However, if it is found to be true, I wouldn’t be completely blindsided. I do have absolutely no problem saying that I feel there has to be other life out there. The Universe is larger than our imagination, and to think that we are the only place where this miracle has occurred seems ludicrous. I only question whether or not they can get here, and then come and go as they please. At this point, I’m still in the: “I don’t think so” phase. Like many other intelligent people, I’m willing to change my mindset when given new data, and right now, it still seems questionable. Although, I will say, in sticking with full disclosure, it does feel like we might be on the verge of knowing. It seems like something’s about to happen. It also feels that a lot of people might see it the same way as I do: Finding out that there are aliens making the long trip would not make me hysterical.

     See what I mean? A whole paragraph, and that was with the TV off! Minimizing my distractions is good. Especially since I seem to have so much going on these days. I’m really having to keep myself focused on my time. Recently I have so many things to get to, that it’s becoming almost like a job to keep my creativity moving. It’s becoming abundantly clear that if you want to spend an hour on several different things, it’s going to take several hours to complete. I’ve got to pick and choose. And today, for this hour, I choose this. And I’m glad I did. We’re halfway through the year, and I haven’t missed a week yet! That makes me happy. Plus, yesterday being the Solstice has me thinking about things. We do personal updates on the Solstices, so I’ve been reflecting, and trying to manifest over the past couple of days. Hence, it only seems appropriate to reflect while I’m here. I used to write an hour a day. Now I write an hour a week. Not really trending in the right direction. Although, when I was writing an hour a day, I didn’t have a lot of other things going on at the time, so that was my time. I got a lot of work done then. I’m getting a lot of work done now too, it’s just not as space consuming. I like it though. It seems as though the path is becoming clearer. I can almost see the way. And hopefully by the time I see the way, I will have gotten myself significantly entrenched in the act of doing, and thus be able to step right up and step right in. At least that’s the way it seems. I have a difficult time telling people what I do. It seems to be a regular question: “What do you do?” I always wonder whether they’re just asking how, or if, I make money, or if they really do just want to get to know me. I’m never sure how to answer.

     I usually say: “It depends what day it is.” Which is true. Two weeks ago, I told you about going to shoot the TV show. I still can’t wait to see it! The day after that, the Calvins played an afternoon gig at a local brewery called Bolt in La Mesa. It was awesome! The event started at 2, we went on 3^rd, at 4. It was packed! I could not believe how many people were there. The bands were good, and the people seemed to really enjoy themselves. However, it did seem like the brewery was not ready for what was happening. They only had 1 bartender, and it was taking half an hour to get a beer. Semi-sober punks don’t appreciate having to wait that long. Tonight my wife and I are going with my dad to the La Mesa car show. It’s kind of cool, lots of old cars, obviously. But we’re also going to try to spread the word that the Eruption is playing tomorrow night at Helix Brewing. We’re excited about the show. We go on at 6, which is perfect, no one can complain about it starting too late. It’s also good because on Saturday, the Calvins are playing an all-day festival in Oceanside! On Saturday, the bands start at 1. We don’t go on until 7, so I’m going to have to do my best to stay functional. But, since the Eruption show is early, it means I probably won’t be out late, so I can wake up early, since it takes about an hour to get to Oceanside. So here it is Thursday afternoon, and it feels like next thing I know it’ll be Sunday. I’m glad I had a weekend in-between. Last weekend all I did was have dinner with my parents, and sister. I like being busy, but sometimes, I wonder why I say yes to everything. Well, I’m trying to be a better doer, I’ve already told you that. And I won’t say yes to something unless I really want to, and think I can, do.

Being Coached To Argue

      TV off today, no distractions. I figure I don’t need anything competing with my thoughts or attention. Especially since I’m not watching anything good. It’s weird to choose something you know you’re going to mostly be ignoring. I never pick a movie or something I’d actually be interested in watching, so I’m basically picking something to ignore. Then why pick? I thought about it after I wrote to you about it a couple of weeks ago. This deserves my attention. My complete attention. Although, now I’m noticing the nice breeze coming through the house, and the chirping of birds, and I’m thinking how calming it is. It goes to show that there are all kinds of ways to be distracted, and that we probably don’t need to be adding to them. Now I sit staring at the screen, wondering if sometimes the idle chatter from the TV provides some kind of launching point for ideas. And that’s how quickly it can change. I’m sticking with it. Afterall, I have a lot to say, I was just wondering if I was too far into the first paragraph to begin. It may seem a bit abrupt. Should I complete the thought I’m on? Have I already done that? This is what it’s like when I feel that I’m thinking too much about it, instead of just doing it. Part of switching from thinker to doer is “doing.” That’s the major part actually. I’ve been reading a lot of stuff online about “seizing the day,” and “living for the moment.” They all basically sound about the same. Do. There’s no amount of planning that can prepare you for doing. It might not ever feel like the “right” time to do something. You just have to do something. I read one today that was an illustration of how you may have to start, re-start, and continue making improvements to get things “right,” but if you never begin, you’ll have no idea what it will take to get your ideas in motion. All I’ve read points in the same direction, do things.

     Alright, now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to last week. What a doozy! I got home from band practice last Thursday around 10:30pm. I had to wake up at 4am! I needed to leave by 5 to get to LA by 8. I made it. I got to where I needed to be before 7:30. They said I could wait in my car or just stand around until 8. I opted for waiting in my car. I would always rather have to kill time than rush. I’m glad I had extra time. It gave me time to think more about my character. I’m happy to tell you that my Covid test was negative. When I first got there, we had to fill out HR-type paperwork, so we could get paid. It was all done on our phones, which was kind of cool. I had not had an experience like that. It was relatively easy. We waited for a while until everyone was ready. We were case #2 out of I don’t know how many. After we got our makeup done, we went to wait in a different room, the green room. Makeup was no big deal, they just wanted to try to make my redness a little less noticeable. I think it worked. They had producers that helped us with our story while we were in the green room. It was good that they did. You may think you’re good at improvising, but you won’t know until you try. The guy I was in the scene with had never acted before! I guess he was a “walk through” extra before, but never any lines. He was a nice guy, but didn’t seem to really get the idea. And who can blame him!? It was actually kind of difficult. Once I got there, and realized what was about to happen, I thought it would be extremely hard for someone with no prior experience to step right up. Not everyone can fake it easy.

     The thing that they coached us most on was bantering back and forth. They let us know that the judge may ask us all kinds of questions, and that we needed to be ready to respond as if the story was true. So we went over it, and over it. It seemed like they had watched the show a lot, because they were coming from all different directions. It was very helpful. My counterpart was not adapting as easy as I was. They kept making it abundantly clear that they expected us to banter back and forth. We are both nice guys, so it was out of our nature to be rude, and interrupt, but they made it clear that they wanted us to argue. They said we could relax after the judge had told us to stop, but they expected us to quarrel. He was not getting it. After about an hour, they told us that I was doing great, but that if he didn’t get his energy up, they would have to skip us. That seemed to make him nervous, and he apologized to me. I told him there was no need, and I tried to work with him a little bit, to see if I could get him to do what they wanted. Then, all of a sudden, it was go time! They brought us to the set. It was so exciting. We did a few still-type shots, and they gave us the run down on what was going to happen. The judge did not seem to like me right away. I was getting into my spiel, and it seemed to be going well. Then she asked him some questions. I interrupted, like I was coached to. I got a warning. Then there was some more back and forth. Finally, she slams her fist, and says she’s heard enough. She didn’t believe me, court was over, and she walked out the room. I thought I had messed up. Then the next thing I know, our coaches are overjoyed. Apparently, upsetting the judge is like striking gold, and we killed it!

Improvising On Television

      Well, here I go again, on the precipice of a whole other adventure. This one started approximately 3 weeks ago. At that time, a friend of mine sent me a link on Facebook to become an actor on a court television show. I thought it was interesting that she thought of me. I wasn’t sure why I came to mind, but it was nice to be thought of. I told her that it sounded like fun, she even said that she’d go with me. I thought it’d be hilarious. I didn’t follow up though. However, I kept thinking about it. I was on the verge of trying to look up her post. But sometimes I think about looking things up, then when I’m sitting in front of the computer, I can’t remember what I was going to look up. So, on Tuesday, the link came onto my feed. Not sent by anyone, just somewhat random. Sorry if it’s naïve of me, but I took it as a sign. What could it hurt? I might have fun. So I signed up, and got a Zoom audition for 3 pm on Wednesday. The audition was a little weird. There were quite a few people auditioning. I’m not even sure how many people there were, I couldn’t see everybody. I got to see a few people go first. The casting director just asked our name, where we’re from, what we do, those kinds of things. He asked some people about their hobbies and background, but it was all very informal. There were a couple of people who once they gave their answers, the producer would come on and say: “Okay I’ll call you in a couple of minutes.” Most people were just told: “We might have something for you, check your email.” When it got to my turn, after about 10 people, I barely got my name out, and where I’m from, when they asked if I’d have a problem getting to LA. I told them “No,” and the producer came on and said that she’d call me in 10.

     I never even got to tell them about my experience. There was no acting involved. It seemed so odd that whatever they’re looking for, they are able to tell right away. It’s an improv role, no real script, we’re just given a scenario, and are supposed to fill in the gaps. It sounds exciting! But it also seems weird that they’d hire someone to improv on screen, and not have any idea if they’re actually able to do so. I guess they might feel I must be serious if I’m willing to drive 2 hours for this gig. And that’s another little thing. Well, maybe not that little. It’s in LA! I have to be in LA by 8 am tomorrow! I’m guaranteed $100, but could get as much as $140, depending on how long filming takes. That’s barely going to pay for my gas. A minimum of 4 hours in the car, waking up at 4 am, for about $50. I guess there’s no need to say that I’m not really doing it for the money. I know that spending $50 to make $50 is not a good business decision. I’m doing it for the experience. I’m going to get to be on TV! It’s pretty exciting. Improvising on national television! I know it’s not SNL, but it’s something, and I’m happy to give it a try. It’s a little out of my comfort zone, so I am appreciating the challenge. I wish I had more than a couple of hours to think about my character. They just emailed me the general profile, and told me I have to fill in all of the character’s backstory incase the Judge asks me about the character’s life. Whoa! I got that information right before I started doing this. But I decided I still needed to get this done. Halfway through the year, and I haven’t missed yet! Plus, I have band practice tonight, so I won’t get time this evening to come up with the necessary information. I’m really in a crunch here, hoping for a miracle.

     I’ve always thought I could do something like this, and now I’m going to find out if I was right. Love it! Although now that the reality is hitting me, I’ve got a bit of work to do, and not much time to do it. Oh well, this is what’s happening. 2 hours in the car should give me some time. However, I do like focusing on the road while I’m driving, so we’ll see how that goes. I can’t believe I said yes. This all seems to be happening so fast. I kind of got caught up in the whole thing, it was so exciting. They said it could lead to more gigs, but I don’t want to keep going to LA for a couple of bucks. If I started getting real money, that may be different, but like I said, I’m doing this just for the experience. I’ve wanted to be on TV for a long time, and now it’s finally going to happen! Tomorrow! Last year I finally got to perform a comedy set at a comedy club, now a TV show. Things getting checked off the list! I’m buzzing! If you can’t tell. Filming a TV show tomorrow, then the Calvins have a day-time gig on Saturday. Busy busy. Oh well, I’d rather be busy than bored. And it leaves me thinking about 2 things: 1) I find it interesting that at around the time I’ve tried to decide to be a “Go for it person,” I get something to go for. I’m not sure that it matters what you’re actually “Going for,” I think the Universe just needs to know that you will indeed “Go for it.” The timing, and the feeling I got from this whole thing is indescribable. I know it’s not a major role, or show, but it’s something, and I’m doing it. 2) I wanted to be an EMT, I became an EMT, and then didn’t care for it. I’m not sure if that counts as a negative thought or not.

Pondering Perplexing Predicaments

      The first of June! It doesn’t seem possible that we can be almost halfway through the year already. I’ve made the potential error of turning on a documentary about Christ’s tomb for background noise. I’m getting distracted. I’m not a Christian, but the story is something I think about a lot. I do like thinking about it, and it holds a lot of interest for me. It’s on National Geographic, so I figured it would be kind of monotonous, and just blend into the white noise, but no, it’s piqued my interest. It’s about something I’ve never heard of before, so naturally, I want to know more. I should probably change the channel. Or perhaps turn it off completely. I know when I read, I can’t have the TV on. It’s too distracting for me to get the information I want, when the TV is competing for my attention. I don’t know what makes me think that my words shouldn’t deserve just as much attention. Although, I really am just kind of streaming, and I apologize to you for not selecting each word intentionally, as to paint a prettier picture in your head. I promise I will one day. I hope by that time you’ll still be interested. It’s getting tougher for me to nail down my somedays. I have so many competing interests, it’s starting to seem that it may be impossible to get to them. Especially when I spend all of my time doing things that don’t necessarily point me in the right direction. Well, that’s not true. In my mind, somehow, everything I do is pointing in the right direction. I know I need to start making money. That is the only thing that gets me down on my efforts. Everything I want to do will take a while to accomplish. Not only that, but they all take money, with a long amount of turn around. It’s coming up on 4 years since I’ve had a job. That’s a little spooky.

     When I first lost my job, we thought it was a sign from the Universe that it was time to go for my dreams. We had just saved up a bunch of money, we were getting married, and things felt motivating. I lost my job the same week of our wedding. Isn’t it ironic? I’m not sure. Ever since Alanis wrote that song, I’m not sure what irony is anymore. However, nothing was going to slow us down, we had some money, a fertile idea, and now some time to pursue it. That was September 2019. Our world was turned upside down, we were happier than we had ever been, yet the company we were working for collapsed, and was taken over by government regulators. Our future was uncertain, just at the time we thought we were starting to put down roots. Our heads were spinning, but still, we thought this must be a sign: Go for it! My wife was kept on, to help the regulators decipher the books, so at least we still had one income. Things still felt good, we felt in sync with the Universe, and things were getting done. I was able to spend a good amount of time getting my notebooks into the computer, and the game ideas were finally getting solid. I was just about ready to start play-testing some of my games when Covid hit. All of a sudden, we weren’t supposed to go anywhere, or see anyone. Not only that, but we only had one computer at home, and that needed to be used by the person making money. I got to spend more time on my games, and actually came up with a few new ones, but Covid was weird. We decided to buy a house. That took a large chunk of our savings. A little while after that, we needed to get a vehicle. We paid cash, that took a huge chunk of our savings. We thought we’d be fine, since we weren’t doing much else.

     The regulators were about done with their case, and my wife was able to find another job, closer to our home. We were stoked, feeling that we were still in sync with the Universe. That job turned out to be a nightmare, and then we were both not working. 3 months no income, that took a huge chunk of our savings. Once that period was over things started to pick up again. It was difficult to navigate 2 people being/working at home. Especially when some of the things we need to do our in the same space, on the same device. As soon as things started opening up, our daughter’s situation changed, and she needed to come stay with us. Another body in our space, using our vehicle, complicating the home dynamic. With opening up, came more socialization. During Covid, we were barely spending any money, because we weren’t doing anything. Things suddenly became different. And now, I notice week by week, our little nest egg diminishing. Diminishing to the point where I now sit here typing to you that I am stuck in a bit of a pickle. I now have the space, time, ideas, and availability to get some things done. But I’m not sure we have the cash to do anything about it. So now, I’m perplexed whether I should get a job, just for some extra cash, or find a way to make cash with what I’ve been spending the last several years working on. The downside being that I’m fairly certain that making money with what I’ve been working on is going to take a while. That may not help us next month.  Getting a job will take away my time, but offer more cash. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. It feels weird to get a job that I know I’m not going to want to stay at. It would feel weird to answer their question with: “Because I want money.” I know the path will reveal itself, but it’s becoming clear that I can’t just sit around and wait for it.