Wondering About The Truth

      Getting an early start today. It’s not even noon yet. I’m not exactly sure what’s going to happen this afternoon, so I figure, get this out of the way now. I had to reflect on why I had chosen Thursday for this, since Friday seems like such a better day. The end of the week. The beginning of the weekend. Friday seems like a more appropriate time. Then I remembered: I used to have band practice on Thursday. When I have band practice, I make a recording, so we can hear how we did. It usually takes a couple of hours for me to make it sound good. Well, better than the raw copy. Anyway, that’s why I didn’t choose Friday because I was usually busy. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been so long since I had practice that I had to “remember.” It’s sad. My punk band is doing great, but my prog band, not so much. I know people get busy, but this is getting ridiculous. I was very excited because on Monday I got confirmation that we were all good to practice. I couldn’t believe it! Then on Wednesday afternoon, I got the text that the guitar player couldn’t do it. I was bummed. What made it a little worse was that the guitar player texted the group, and I’m the only one who responded. Not a word from anyone else. Making it a little worse, last week, when I sent out my weekly “are we going to practice text,” (yes, I have to send one) the drummer said he couldn’t, and it was the same thing, silence. The other 3 of us usually get together, even if the drummer doesn’t want to. But they didn’t say a word. I canceled the studio, and no one ever said anything. Not even on Thursday. What the hell is going on?

     I know in the guitar player’s case it’s football season. This is his child’s first year playing full contact football. One of the parents need to be present at practice, just in case. He told us ahead of time, so there’s not much we could do. Apparently, his wife keeps getting scheduled for work on Thursdays, so it’s understandable. The drummer is a whole other issue. He often blames it on his wife’s schedule, but some of us have our doubts. Their wives have been friends since they were little, and have girl getaways often. Last one they had the drummer’s wife said something to the guitar player’s wife that made her think that it’s the drummer’s issue, not the wife’s. It’s not really anything that can be confirmed, there was drinking involved, and everyone has their own story, but something got said, and passed on, at least in part, that has made some of us wonder what the truth is. I spend a lot of time searching out the truth. I don’t like spending any time wondering about the truth. In my experience the truth is usually fairly obvious, and if you have to wonder if something is true, you probably already know the answer. He says “no” to pretty much every gig. Over the past month, we’ve been offered at least 3 gigs, and it has been “no” every time. That by itself is one thing, but he doesn’t even seem to want to practice. Actions speak louder than words, and right now it seems that his actions, and his words, are not saying the same thing. It’s frustrating. I often feel like moving on, but it’s been a long time. I know no other drummer will be the same, but something needs to happen. The guitar player thinks we should wait. But I feel we have been. He thinks the drummer should quit instead of being let go. I’m not so sure.

     In happier news, last week’s gig with the punk band was awesome! We played with a band called Daikaiju. They are a heavy surf rock band from Alabama that wear Kabuki masks. It sounds weird, but they were awesome! I don’t want to get too much into it, YouTube doesn’t do them very well, but live, my mind was blown. If you like live loud music, I’d go see them. I doubt you’d be disappointed. The place was packed. We got to play just before them, people as far as the eye could see. We killed it! Although, I will say, our guitar player was out of tune for an entire song. I tried not to draw any attention to it, but I was a little embarrassed. People seemed to really like what we were doing. We had a lot of people asking about our merchandise, and of course, wouldn’t you know it, this was the one time we didn’t bring any. Oh well, hopefully they’ll remember the good times we had. There’s a punk rock festival tomorrow up in the North County. Out of the 9 bands playing I would like to see 4. I suggested we all go, you know, to be part of the community. No one wanted to. What a bunch of winners! I’m going anyway. I guess I’ll be the sole representative, again. Funny thing, one of the bands I was going to see, actually had to cancel because their bass player got Covid. They reached out to us and asked if we would take their spot! Are you fucking kidding me? This would have been epic! A 7 pm spot, at one of the largest gatherings of groups we should be associated with, at one of the coolest breweries in the county, it was like a dream come true. But of course, we had to say “no,” because the guitar player is on call. I know people say, “there’ll be other ones,” but we’re not getting any younger.

Practice Makes Things Better

      It’s kind of funny how doing this regularly tends to leave me with nothing to say. After several weeks, there’s all kinds of things to say, but after only a few, there isn’t that much. I am excited about the show tomorrow. I’ve been practicing a lot. That was one of the things I kind of “learned” when I was getting ready to record for my buddy’s band, PRACTICE. I practiced an hour a day for 2 weeks. When it was time to record, I was ready. It was kind of funny though, because when I went to practice with my punk band after 2 weeks off, I made a bunch of unnecessary errors. I thought it may have been because my mind was occupied with other thoughts for 2 weeks. I had to “remember” what I was doing. We’d taken brakes longer than 2 weeks before, and there wasn’t the same issue. So, I figure it had to have been my focus. I came to the realization that perhaps practicing once a week isn’t quite enough. Especially with a show coming up! I want to be awesome. I want people to see me and think “WOW.” I want it to be second nature. I’m just about there. I’ve been practicing everyday for the past week, and it seems to be making a huge difference. I can’t wait for tomorrow! I feel weird because I look so forward to being awesome. I’m starting to really enjoy that people seem to enjoy what I’m bringing, and look forward to seeing me play. I want to be good. Having just re-read that, I realize it can sound a little “me-me.” After all, I am in a band. I like that people want to see us. But other than the band, I want to shine. I put effort in, and I like to see the reaction. I’m not sure what to think about this new desire.

     If I practiced everything I want to be good at as much as I should, I’d barely have time for anything else. Which I guess is kind of the point. While our daughter was growing up, I often used a term Practice Family, to re-install that thought that we are a family that practices things. I look at everything as though I’m practicing it. Practicing or studying. To an outside observer it may look like not much is being done, but I am constantly trying to improve, and I wanted her to get the idea. I think it’s worked for the most part. I see her doing creative projects that she has no expectation of monetary compensation for, and she puts just as much effort in as if it were for compensation. She wants to be good. And I feel that we’ve given her a few tools to understand what it takes to make that happen. She just started a new job at a place called the Corvette Diner. I’m not sure if it’s only a local place, so in case you don’t know: It is kind of a big deal. People wait for hours to get in. It is basically just a diner, but it’s 50’s style. You can sit in old cars and have an old-fashioned soda. The staff is dressed up, and sing and dance, and create an elevated environment. This is her second week. We thought they were screwing her on her schedule. We crossed our fingers that it was only while she was “training.” It turns out that they got a new Operating System, and she’s the only one who knows the program! She was just moved to full time so she can train the rest of the staff on how to use the new program! That’s what I’m talking about. I couldn’t be more proud. And she’s just going along, being herself, kicking ass. Love it!

     Sticking with the theme, my wife just got some good news. I’m sure I told you there had been some issues with the new job. It kind of made me sad, because at her old job she was very happy. She liked the job and the people. She almost didn’t take the new job because of how happy she was at her last job. The new job seemed like a flop initially. Things were misrepresented to the point that we’re not sure that the person who brought her in can be trusted anymore. I don’t think there’ll be anymore hanging out. Kind of a bummer, but, it's not like we saw him all that much anyway. It’s always a bummer when someone you trust, and respect, does something that keeps that from continuing to be the case. She only took the job because she trusted him, and he said he’d give her a ride. Well, he just told her that he’s going out of town for an undetermined amount of time, most likely months! He wasn’t even going to tell their CEO. Shady! There’s a lady at work she could ride with, but she barely knows her. 2 hours in a car everyday with a virtual stranger would be uncomfortable in any situation. You wouldn’t stay strangers long. She has ridden with her a couple of times already, it’s okay. She’s a little more right of center than we are, but, it’s okay. However, my wife feels the lady works overtime on purpose, so she works long hours, and rightly so, my wife doesn’t want to. Riding with this woman for months would not be ideal. Then, because of my wife’s attention to detail, the CEO offered to take her to lunch. And they went, today. She told him everything! We wanted to start off on the right foot with honesty, and she just let him know her situation, to see what his thoughts were. He was sympathetic, and wants her to stay so badly that he has authorized her to work from home 2 or 3 days a week! Exactly what we wanted.

Something New To Focus On

      I started to think I was running out of time, but I caught myself. I was even going to do this earlier, but I decided to wait until later. It’s later! I almost did this on Wednesday. Part of me thought: “Who says it only needs to be done once a week? If I have enough to say, and enough time to type, why not twice?” I used to spend an hour a day writing, now I’m down to once a week, if I’m lucky! That’s not exactly progress. I’m going to have to think about that for a bit. Although, when I was writing an hour a day, I was working on what will be my book, and not just writing. Well, that’s not true. Now that I think about it, I got in the habit of writing an hour a day, and then started my book. That way I was already in the habit of doing it. Wow, I hadn’t thought about that in a long time. I can’t really be a writer if I’m only writing once a week. I definitely need to think about this. However, I am busy, being creative, so that must count for something. But, I definitely need to get back into the habit of working. I did not choose this life to sit around bored. It will get better, I know it. It’s just taking a little while to adjust to our new surroundings. Between injuries, and our house guest, I am out of sorts, but I am starting to see the light, and hope to be back on track someday soon. Who knows, this could be the step in the appropriate direction that I need to get my ass back in gear. Although, as soon as I typed that, I realized what I was going to tell you today, and that I have not been sitting idly by. I’m getting stuff done.

     Let’s move on to catching up. Last I wrote you we just finished Beach Punk Fest. We had another gig the following Saturday. It was at a brewery in the North County. We had been invited by a friend of ours who is in a Ska band. They’re pretty good. They get a lot of gigs, and put together a lot of shows, so it’s good to be on their Call List. It was awesome! A lot of people don’t want to play breweries because it’s often not like a real show. There’s usually no stage, or lights, and it’s just kind of like playing your friend’s garage. Which I have no problem with! If that’s the case, we have played some pretty cool garages! But this place was like a real venue. At least for the performers. It was all ages, so we didn’t really know what to expect. It went off! There was actually a line to get in! There were a bunch of late teens in there just wanting to dance and see live music. They were so excited to have something to do. It was really fun. We hadn’t performed to a group like that. It was infectious. There was a semi-famous Pod Cast crew there to do a live feed. They wanted to interview us, but it turned out to be too loud, and couldn’t really do it. They said they’ll have us to their studio to do a real interview. That’d be awesome! Things are happening! We’re pretty excited. We’ve got another show next Saturday with a touring band. And, we just got asked to play a Halloween gig with a different touring band. So things are actually happening! I’m sorry, but after being idle for so long it feels really good for there to be things actually happening. I can’t even get my other band to practice, so it feels good to have one revving.

     As I knock things off the list, I get quite a sense of accomplishment. And, I really enjoy that recently I have had a “next” to get on to. After the North County show, I had to get ready to record. I was asked to lay down some bass tracks for my friend’s band. I had to learn 6 songs. I enjoyed the process. I recorded those last week. It went pretty well. The guys seemed happy with what I came up with. It was a little weird recording for a band I’m not in, but it was fun. Although, the songwriter did make some kind of cryptic comment about “When we play live,” so I‘m not 100 on what he thinks is happening. I try not to turn down gigs, so I’ll probably do it, even though I have serious doubts about the singer. Not my cup of tea. Oh well, not my band. Once I recorded, I felt relieved that it was over. It had been consuming my time for the past couple of weeks. I wanted to be good. While that was going on, I got asked to perform at another comedy show. So I’ve been reworking, and adding, some new material into my act. Once I recorded it was like “Ahhh, now I can focus on the new comedy stuff.” I spent the next week rehearsing for the comedy show. The show was last night. I did well, but I’m not sure if the show did well. When I got there, I was informed that there would only be 3 of us performing. My 2 teachers and me. Luckily another comic showed up, so we had 4. But it didn’t really matter, because there really wasn’t anyone there. A few randoms, some of the instructor’s friends, and the 3 people that came to see me. My instructors did the same set they’ve been doing for 2 years! I thought that was weird. Why not write new stuff? Anyway, now that’s over, and “Ahhh, I can focus on next week’s show!”

Hanging With Friends

      Three weeks!  I knew when I had to look when I posted last that it had been a while. I also had to check my calendar, what has been going on? I’ve been pretty busy, but that’s not really an excuse. I’ve got to be able to find an hour a week, or else what the hell am I doing?! I guess I’ll start in a linear fashion, starting from our last transmission. The weekend after I wrote you last was very busy! Saturday was an event that some of us look forward to every year, that we call Meatfest. It is generally a barbeque for about 30 people. For some of us that is the only time we really get to see each other. The host is a barbeque fanatic. He has certain grills he only uses for pork. Some grills only charcoal. He probably has 7, used for various things. He gets very adventurous. It’s usually amazing. People bring sides, but the general idea is, try a bunch of different meats. There is also usually a band, and usually some type of impromptu jams. It’s a lot of fun. I brought some ceviche from a local store. I had tasted the ceviche while we were camping, and knew right then that I would bring it to the party. I was going to bring the hominy that I took camping. But I wasn’t sure if any camping friends were going, and I didn’t want to be mister 1 hit wonder. None of them showed. I would have been safe. I had so much hominy left over after camping that we ended up eating it in every different way we could think of. I should have brought it to Meatfest. I’m not going to be able to eat hominy again for a while.

     One thing that was kind of disappointing was that I thought a lot of people were taking too much food. People were coming out with huge, towering plates of food. I saw plates with 3 or 4 pieces of the same thing. There were a lot of things that many of us didn’t get to try because other people were gorging instead of tasting. I just don’t understand that mentality. Especially because these people are our friends! It seemed very inconsiderate. What we did have was delicious. One of the cool things about this party is that we all have a similar taste profile, so usually all the dishes that people bring are delicious. Towards the end of the party people kept asking if I was going to jam. None of my bandmates were there. And most of the people who I could have played with had been playing all day, so I wasn’t sure how it would work. But, people insisted. So, I jammed. It was fun. I had jammed with the guitar players before, but I never played with the drummer before. He is someone I know. Afterwards people could not believe that we just made some stuff up. People were shocked, it almost felt like we had a gig. I’m glad I didn’t chicken out. I think some people saw me in a different light that night. The next day was Beach Punk Fest 6! That was a blast. Although, on my way to pick up my gear, my check engine light came on. My muffler started sounding weird, and it felt like my car was about to die. So, once I loaded up the gear, I rushed home to change cars. I did not want to risk being all the way at the beach with a questionable vehicle. It’s impossible for me to relax when I’m not sure if I can get home.

     Beach Punk Fest 6 was very cool. There were a lot of people there. A lot of people recognized me, which, I’m almost ashamed to admit, I kind of like. The part I like the most though, is that at least 3 different people told me, towards the end of the night, that they thought we were the best band of the day. I was beaming! I thought the other bands were good. Only one of them was “eh.” The last band was frickin’ awesome. I thought they were next level. I had seen them once before, and was impressed, but this time I was blown away. I don’t know how anyone could think we were better than that. But hey, to each his own. I was a little disappointed that my bandmates didn’t stay around to see any of the other bands. We’re supposed to be celebrating the community, and those guys just bail. They didn’t even stay to watch the promoter’s band! And there had been a mass email, letting us all know that we were expected to support each other. Oh well, at least we represented. But twice in 2 days, I was left wondering: “What’s up with my friends?” One really cool thing that happened was, I ran into an old friend of mine. We lost contact about 13 years ago. He’s kind of “off the grid,” so it was only going to happen this way. It was so interesting too, because the opening band yelled out his name, asking where he was. And I was like: “What? He’s supposed to be here?” He didn’t show up until the last band. I knew the second he walked in. I couldn’t believe it. Apparently, he didn’t even know about the show, he had just gotten home, heard the music, and rolled in. We hung out for a bit then he invited my wife and I to his home. It was so fun, and to think I would have missed it if I hung with my “friends.”