Doing the Right Thing

     Well, it finally got me. Actually I'm not sure it's Rona, but something got me, and I don't like it. I've felt like crap for a week. I can still taste and smell, so I'm not sure it's “the one,” but it sure as hell ain't fun. I had to cancel band practices! We haven't been able to practice in about a month because every week somebody else was sick, or was exposed to positive people. I'm not sure how people can still think this fake. I do watch the news regularly. But I feel I'm able to keep my skeptical eye on what I'm being told. I do not drink from the trough. And I regularly see stories about other parts of the world, and they're all masked up too. I don't know how some people can think this is all some kind of Democrat manufactured dilemma. It's affecting everyone! The other things is too, that I have been vaccinated and boostered. So I see why people can become so confused. Again, I'm not sure I have it, but I've got something. And I know other people are getting “it” after having been vaccinated, which leads people to think that the vaccines don't work, or matter. But if what I have is the “lessor” form, I am glad I got the vaccine. This sucks! I felt for the first few days like my head was some kind of snot factory. I wasn't able to sleep. I had a headache. And I pretty much lost my desire to do anything. Which also sucked because this was/is my wife's birthday week. I feel a little bummed that I felt like a dried turd all week, and wasn't able to provide my normal energy, or enthusiasm, for the revelry.

     Yes, you read that correctly, birthday week! It is a big deal to her. I'm fine with it. Although she'd probably prefer it to last a month, I've become accustomed to the week. Especially since she's so chill the rest of the year, I've got no problem with what I would call “a little extra celebration.” It's just weird because it fits right in with the post-holidays and the post-season! But alas, that is not the point. The point is that I haven't really felt like doing anything this week, and I'm kind of bummed. She's taking it like a champ, and thus another reason why she is Mrs. Stombaugh. It's also kind of jacked up because my car is at the shop again. All week, no car! This little battery light kept coming on, and it was making me pretty nervous. I looked it up online, and it said that it was probably my alternator. But I had just had the alternator replaced. So I was going to take it back to where I had it fixed last time. I made an appointment for Monday morning. Monday morning the car wouldn't start! Feeling like crap, and things not going my way, that would usually create quite an uncomfortable mood to be around. (I suppose.) But I didn't even feel good enough to get upset. I charged the battery, and made a new appointment for Wednesday morning. That all went well, and the car is there now, waiting for it's new alternator. Although, I guess that's not really the point. The point is that I didn't have access to a vehicle for the week, so I couldn't even sneak out for any birthday surprises! I've had to be very diplomatic.

     Wow, all of a sudden, as I was re-reading what I wrote, I realized I'm one of “them.” Not a happy thought. I'm sitting here moaning about not feeling well, and not being able to really go anywhere. And if I'm not feeling well, I shouldn't be going anywhere! But I did. And I may have gone more places, had the vehicle been available. Even though I'm not well. Even though I know that I don't want anyone going through what I'm going through. I've felt like a hypocrite about this all week. I had no intention of outing myself to you, but since I did, I'm sticking with it. My delete key only works on typos, and sentences that don't make sense. I went out. Not feeling well. I masked up, but is that enough? I have a friend (Whoa! Who just called right now as I typed that!)(And what I am about to say just got confirmed.) who thinks we should all just kind of let it run it's course. He thinks we're all going to get it anyway, which seems to be the general consensus. I said “like a pox party,” to which he said no, because the pox doesn't seem to lesson. Which is true. But it does seem like, since the beginning of all of this pandemic, that the goal has been keeping it moving slowly. I get it, the hospitals are overloaded. I used to work in health care, and I can't imagine what they're going through right now. But it seems like we can't really just let it run it's course because not everyone reacts the same way to this thing. Some people don't even know they're ill, and other people die. That is a big difference! Granted I know a lot of the people who die have other contributing factors as well. But people have contributing factors. We share air with them. I feel terrible that in this situation, I have not done the “right” thing.

Old Habits

     Man, I almost missed this again! I don't even have anyone to blame it on this time. It's just hard to keep up the habit. Taking a 4 month break is not really a good way to keep a habit. It's funny to me how easy it is to start and keep a “bad” habit, but keeping a “good” habit takes a lot more effort. It also seems funny, because as I sit here thinking about this, it appears at first thought that it should be the other way around. For example, I like writing. It gives me joy, I feel like I've created something, it's in alignment with my goals, and it gives me time to reflect. That sounds like something that would be easy to do. We generally do things that we like. It's weird that I have to remember to set aside time for something I enjoy. On the other hand, I was a nail biter. (I guess sometimes I still am if I've imbibed too much, and am up too late, and they're not even.) I didn't really necessarily like biting my nails. I didn't sit down one day and think “you know what? I'm going to start biting my nails.” It just happened. I guess it didn't bother me all that much. What bothered me was the constant negative attention it attracted. I was regularly smacked in the face and swatted in the back of the head. (With my fingers right near my teeth!) Not to mention the verbal onslaught of different versions of “Get your fingers out of your mouth.” There was even the purchase of a substance put on like nail polish that was supposed to taste so bad I would stop. I got used to the taste. Those were the reasons I disliked biting my nails.

     Sure, it was a bother that I couldn't peel off a sticker or pick up a coin off the ground until I was almost 28. (I remember when it happened too, I was like “wow, I was never able to do that before!” I felt oddly accomplished.) But, overall, the actual act didn't bother me, or I wouldn't have done it. However, as I'm sure you're aware by now, it took a long time to stop! Practically being abused for 18 years of my life didn't help. You'd think it would, but it didn't. I just kept biting them. When I got older, and decided that biting my nails wasn't really in my definition of me, it still took time. Several more years of trying after I decided that I didn't want it to be a part of my life anymore. I had to care, and I had to want it. Working in a medical lab helped. Not only because of the nastiness, but also because I was wearing gloves most of the time. But I guess that's not really the point. The point is that a habit I did not like took a long time to stop, even though I didn't like doing it. Whereas trying to start the habit of doing something I like, is not that easy. I should be chomping at the bit to get to write, not realizing at lunch on Friday that I forgot to write yesterday! It seems mixed up. But I guess, now that I got all of that out, it's actually the same thing. I was trying to create the new habit of “not biting my nails.” And, creating a new habit was the hard part. Just like writing. I sometimes get in the habit of not writing, and I want to create the new habit of writing. Wow, I'm glad that we just went through that together.

     It still seems like it should be easier to start a new habit if you actually like the habit you're trying to create. I know with “eating healthy” and “working out” it can be hard to keep with it, but I think it's because people who need to do those things don't generally like doing them. They're usually doing them for some other reason. They want to look better, or feel better, or whatever reason makes them start. So they're not necessarily trying to create the new habit of running everyday because they like running. They're trying to create a new habit for other means. In my experience that is almost assuredly not going to work. I'm sure there are people who push through and eventually find that they do like the new habit required to attain their desire. But this time of year seems to be full of people who want some new kind of life this year, and most who try are finding out that the old habits are just too ingrained in their being. Or perhaps they don't really want the thing they think they want. I don't know. All I do know is that for some reason it seems like I've heard a lot of people mentioning that they no longer make New Year's Resolutions, because they never stick to them anyway. I literally must have heard it 6 or 7 times. People seem to be getting fed up with trying something new at the beginning of the year. It seems a little bit sad. People so used to disappointing themselves that they no longer even want to try. It makes me wonder whether the things they were trying were actually for themselves, or for others. I can honestly say that I don't really know too many people that wouldn't be helped by a little change. But I do know that it certainly won't get done unless they really want to manifest it in their life.

Catching Up

      Man, it is weird how time can get away from you. Blink your eyes and 4 months have passed! That's how I feel anyway. I knew it had been a while, but 4 months! That's not really acceptable. Now I want to try and catch you up, and for some reason my word processor thinks every word I'm typing is misspelled. That is also not acceptable. However, I have spent enough time messing with it, and am ready to carry on with my entire document underlined in red. I guess I can take the function off. There, that's better. Now I'll have to check for errors the old fashioned way. That's okay, I usually do anyway. Yet some still slip through. I'm often surprised at how many things I still do the old fashioned way. But, that seems like a different topic for a different day. I guess today will have to be a catch up day. It's been so long, I had to read my last post to know what I was up to. That seemed like forever ago! It also amuses me that back then I was apparently trying to suggest that I was attempting to get away from going over the mundane details of my day to day life, and yet here I sit on the precipice of filling you in on the mundane details of my month to month life. I can't say it will be much more interesting, but I can say that I should probably stop saying that I'm going to make some attempt at not going over the mundane details of my life. My life is, after all, all that I know. And we are expected to write what we know. And since I spend the majority of my day isolated from others, this is what I shall write about.

      To catch you up from the last post, (I hate to leave people dangling) everything is alright now. I have my car back, and it is working properly. I have a new phone now, and it is working lovely. Although, I will say that it is quite bigger than my old one. I was not able to get one close to the same size. I feel like I'm practically carrying around a tablet! But it's fine. Actually, now I'm just about used to it. It always takes me a little while to get used to things that have changed. Now when I look at my old phone (I still haven't thrown it away yet) I think it looks so dinky, and wonder why the change was so tough. The studio we were rehearsing at did close down. I'm not sure how much of it was from the complaining neighbor, and how much of it was from the realization of the founder that his dream was not realized. Either way, we had a lot of fun, and have moved back to renting a spot every week. It's a little more expensive, and a little more of a hassle, but at least we still get to play! It was amazing though, when I think about it, all the other studios were shut down because of Covid. This studio came into our lives exactly when we needed it. It lasted just as long as we needed it, and then it went away. I am blown away by that every time I think about it. It really seemed divine. I let the founder know as well. We wrote an album there! I just wanted him to know how much we appreciated it, and him. I really don't know if the bands would have lasted with that much time off. It literally was a godsend. Now we wait for our own room.

     Besides all of that, and I'm pretty sure the reason this has taken so long, my wife was fired! We were really caught off guard. She had been at that place for 11 months. She finally got to take some vacation time. We do a yearly camping trip with some friends of ours, and she finally got to take some time off. We had just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We were gone Friday through Monday in the middle of September. She went back to work that Tuesday, and was let go. She was home before 9 am! They accused her of being dishonest on her time card. However, it was a brand new system, and she told them that she was having problems. They never seemed to care. The thing that got me was, they never even wrote her up. She wasn't given a chance to explain herself, or get re-trained on the system. It was just “Goodbye.” That was so fucked up. And, the worst part is, it felt like her co-worker was the culprit. There is no way anyone would have had any idea when she got to work, let alone whether she clocked in properly. It seems the only way that anything could have been “discovered” was by the nosiness of her co-worker, trying to get her in trouble. I know that can seem like imagined drama, but this person really is a monster. If you even knew half the story, you'd see that this person was beyond typical office drama, she really was a word I shouldn't call a woman. What's weird though was, that Monday night, before she went back, my wife said “Do I really want to go back?” It's like she knew. She was miserable, all thanks to the co-worker in question. So no job for 3 months! I guess I didn't want to be in here pounding away at the keys while I had the opportunity to be with her. She has gotten another job! She loves it way more than she could have ever loved the last one. It really is true that sometimes a blessing can feel like a curse at first.