Back Story For The New Project

Alright, two weeks in a row, now we're getting somewhere. There's a couple of funny things about today's date. Today would have been my 20^th wedding anniversary, if I were still married, and if she were still alive. Today is also my long-time girlfriend, Susan's, sister's 30^th birthday. My ex-wife and I got married in Las Vegas, and guess where Susan's sister decided to spend her birthday? You got it, Las Vegas. She also took Susan's daughter, Stella Mae, with her. So Susan and I have our home to ourselves for the week. That would normally mean debauchery, but as luck would have it, we haven't the money, or the desire, to destroy ourselves, so we're actually having fun, together. Susan's daughter is only 14, and her Aunt really isn't that much of a partier, so we're not too worried. I'm not even sure why she would pick Las Vegas, or why she would want a 14 year old with her. But she did and she does. Don't get me wrong, I love Stella Mae, she is fun to spend time with. But when I go to Las Vegas, I don't want to be anywhere near children. I go there to have fun, “adult style.” I'm sure we'll get into that in the future, but it doesn't look like we'll be vacationing anytime soon. It's good that we like our home life, otherwise we might be a little desolate right now. I'm just glad people are willing to spend time with Stella Mae. I don't spend, nor do I plan to spend, any time with other people's children. But, since Stella Mae is cool, she's gets to do a lot of things she would otherwise not get to do. I hope she realizes that as she continues to grow.

Speaking of growing, I've realized recently, especially after writing that last paragraph, that you probably don't know that much about me. One of the things I've kind of been on the fence about, is how to deal with the fact that the past 5 years I've been doing this, is foreign to you. I thought about posting the archives, but that seemed to be a bit pompous. I had agreed to just continue on as if you already knew the past 5 years of content, so that my running narrative kept it's continuity. But that seemed to leave too much out. So I have now decided to start fresh, as is seemingly the theme for my current life. Without going into too much detail, there are a couple of things that I think you should know, so we can move on. I live in La Mesa, CA. I love it here. It's really close San Diego, CA. I was in the Navy for a while after High School, then I taught Traffic School for a while, and now I work at a store that sells work boots. I've been helping raise Stella Mae since she was 2, she just turned 14, I'll let you do the math on that one. My ex-wife left me in 2000, I met Susan in 2002, and we've been having a good time getting to know each other ever since. I have now officially been with Susan longer than I ever knew my ex-wife. The details may come out later but that's the gist of that. I'm in a band, and have played around San Diego since the mid 1990's. I'll let you do the math on that one too. I'm currently in the process of listening to albums that I never actually got around to listening to. If you're interested you can check it out on Facebook.

Those are the things that I mention often, so now you have a little insight, in case it was getting confusing. Now for the meat of the new project. I've been working on a book since 1999. Having never written one before, it's taken some time. By the time I did enough research to have something to write about, life got in the way. In the most fascinating of ways. More on that later. What's important for now, is that I started doing this type of writing to train myself to write. I wanted to get better at writing so that my book would not be my actual first attempt. So, for the past 5 years I've been “practicing” writing. I always thought it didn't matter if anyone read it or not, because I was just “practicing.” Then I started thinking about being read. Just around the time I was considering moving to a more used site, Myspace got rid of all my work, forcing me to make a choice. Coincidence? I think not. I follow these events like crumbs through the woods. That brings me here and now. Over the past couple of years, I've kept notebooks like I keep calendars, everywhere. In one particular notebook, I've kept track of these ideas that pop into my head. No matter what time of day, no matter how mundane, if it feels like it's pertinent to my work, I write it down. As of this morning there are 206. The same exact number as the bones in the human adult. Coincidence? So my new project is to expound on one of these ideas every week. This morning was actually the first time I wrote a new one down in quite while. I'm really excited, this is going to be fun.

Daughn

Thrown Bones And Future Branches

I feel like I let myself down last week, by not making the time to get onto the computer, especially because of the reason. Car Show. Once again making plans to take it easy and save money gave way to our desire for fun and tomfoolery. I am excited to say that this week we did stay home, and I feel very motivated today. Today is also laundry day, which excites me even more. Now that I have a regular job, I go through a lot more clothes than I ever remember going through before. Before, laundry day was more of a task to be done, where as now, laundry day is a must. I used to be able to stretch it out if needed to. But now, I really need clean clothes. It's hard to believe how many clothes get used on a regular basis. I know that may sound gross, but it's a reality that I'm still adjusting to. Laundry day is also exciting because we make a night out of it. We pick a laundromat in a part of town that has many food options that are close to it. That way we make a whole night of it, we have dinner while our clothes are getting cleaned. At this point in our life, laundry night is our night out. We used to go out every Friday, but now we just can't. We used to have regular Sundays out, but those are gone too. I know things will get better, but it seems as though we've really painted ourselves into a corner. Now we have to tighten up the belt. Part of it was our own doing, and part of it had to do with the circumstances that we were given, but either way, the “party” has come to an end.

Not to say that we're not still having fun. This is not about sadness, it's about a new type of happiness. The happiness that comes from sticking to a plan. The happiness that comes from digging yourself out of a hole. The happiness that comes from truly being grateful for what you have, instead of just saying it. I figure it's something that we really need. How can we eventually be successful if we can't control ourselves? If we can't run a family, how can we run a business? If we can't handle sobriety, than how can we handle reality? And that's one of the biggest things that's changing, I enjoy my sober life so much that there is becoming no “real” need to alter it. I don't much feel like socializing that much anymore. It's fun every once in a while, with people we really know and like/love. But going out, just to go out, is getting to be a bit of a bore. People watching, one of my favorite things to do, is becoming less and less interesting, as more and more people just stare at their gnikcuf phones. If I wanted to see a bunch of blue faces, I'd go watch the Blue Man Group, or the Smurfs, at least they're entertaining. Plus I have gotten so far away from what “people” want to listen to, that 90% of the time, I cannot stand the music coming from the jukebox. Why would I want to listen to a bunch of yttihs music, with a bunch of people more interested in their phone than their current location? That is not my idea of fun. How interesting that I come to this realization, at a point of financial stress. Coincidence?

When I started going out, it was about people like me, listening to music like me, in a location that I liked. I don't know what happened to places like that. They must still be out there, they have to be, don't they? Maybe at this time it's a good thing I don't know. Now I have most of my fun at other people's homes. Or like last weekend, I actually had fun at a wedding! I don't know if you know this already or not, but I generally can not stand weddings. I won't get into it at this point, but I am not a fan. But last Saturday we went to a Pirate/Steam Punk themed wedding on a real, floating, pirate ship. I don't think there was even thirty people. Everyone was dressed up, everyone was happy. There were no lines for anything. There was a real pirate band. There were real gypsies. No toasts, no cake, no dinner with strangers, no this, no that, it was really nice. It was the most fun I ever had at a wedding. Plus, having everyone in costumes, on a real ship, it was like we were in a different world. Reality really was suspended for the night. It made up for the fact that we missed the first trolley there, and the last trolley home. It was a 45 dollar cab ride to get home, but well worth it. We won't ever forget that night, as I'm sure neither will the bride and groom. The funny part is, it was the best wedding I've ever been to, and we don't even know them that well. It's funny how life often throws you a bone, just when you need it. I can't wait to see what this new branch of future has in store for me and my family.

Daughn

Still Feeling New

Man the past two weeks have been a little crazy.  My band had a show, then it was play week for my daughter, then we went to see my parents for the Fourth of July, we came back and went right back to work, then Stella Mae just had Volleyball camp!  This is the first time I've been able to sit and do nothing for over two weeks.  Well I guess that's not exactly true, at my parents house we didn't do much at all.  We swam a lot, and ate a lot, we visited a lot, and drank a lot, but that doesn't really count as doing "nothing."  It's so strange, because for years, I had all the free time in the world.  I spent most of my days making up things to do.  I was only teaching traffic school a couple of times a week, so I had to invent things to occupy my time, and mind.  Now I rarely ever even get a chance to be bored.  The pendulum has definitely shifted.  It's a nice change of pace, and I hope to be able to get into a routine again soon, but for now, I'm having a bit of trouble adjusting.  Planning has become a major part of my life.  Having three people with active lives, living under the same roof, with only one vehicle, every detail of our lives has to be synchronized.  It has come to the point that everything needs to be written down.  I used to be really proud of my memory.  I felt I had no need to write anything down, because I knew I would remember it.  Now I have calendars in every room.  Google Calendar has really helped, so we can all check our schedules wherever there's a computer.  It has really made our organization much smoother.  But now we have a calendar on-line, plus we print out a hard copy.  We also have a standard wall calendar.  And on top of all of that, I keep a copy of my work schedule.  So in our home you are literally never further than six feet from a calendar.  Boy, writing all of that out makes it sound a little ridiculous.  But it's working, and like I said, this is new, I'm sure we'll find our groove eventually.

Today is a strange kind of a day.  Susan and I partied pretty hard last night.  It was the first Car Show of the season.  If you're not familiar, La Mesa has a car show every Thursday night during the summer.  If you are into cars, I strongly recommend it.  Neither Susan nor I are really that into cars.  But we are into parties, and the Car Show is kind of like a party.  We won't be making it to every one.  We probably won't go again until the last one.  The first one and the last one are usually the most fun.  At least for us.  I'm sure for the car people they're all great.  But we are on a budget, and trying to go out less.  I'm not sure if you've ever tried to "go out less," but in our case when we try to "go out less,"  that usually means we try to cram all of our partying into one night.  That night was last night!  I came home with five bucks in my pocket, so I'm happy we didn't go over budget, but it feels like we got way to drunk for the amount of money that we spent.  I was hungover until close to 11:30 this morning.  I'm lucky to have the day off, Susan was not so lucky.  I don't know how she does it.  Here's the kicker, we're getting new windows today.  When I spoke to the men yesterday, they said they'd be here about 8 or 8:30 this morning.  8 or 8:30!?  In the morning!?  On my day off!?  After Car Show Night!?  But hey, it's going to be nice to have new windows.  I usually wake up early anyway, and on our budget, I thought I'd be fine this morning, so it seemed like no big deal.  Until this morning.  I was rudely awoken this morning by Susan mistaking the foot of my bed as a toilet.  That's a fun way to wake up.  I made my way out to the couch to wait for the window guys.  They didn't show up until almost 9, which I guess was fine, since I was in no mood to see them at 8.  Not that I was in any better mood at 9, but I think you get my drift.  The weird thing was that they said they would start with my neighbors, and get to me later.  Get to me later!?  Then why the f*ck tell me 8 or 8:30!?

I wasn't sure how to feel about that.  I was partly happy because I got to get some more rest on the couch while I waited patiently for my actual turn.  But I was partly bummed because, I was already prepared, and then I had no idea when it would actually be my turn.  It's like being in purgatory.  So I waited.  Patiently.  While they tended to my neighbors.  After lunch, I was feeling much better, and decided it was time to do this.  After all, it had been two weeks, and I like this to occur weekly.  Plus I hadn't gotten to listen to my Albums I've Always Meant to Listen To in two weeks either.  If you're interested in that, you can check my Facebook page to see which ones I've listened to.  I've been getting a lot of cool suggestions lately.  It's really turning out to be quite a cool page.  People seem to be responding to it quite well.  Today's suggestion came from my guitar player, he suggested The Division Bell by Pink Floyd.  I can't say I've always wanted to listen to it, but I've always meant to listen to more Pink Floyd, so I accepted.  Here's the strange part, as soon as I start listening, and writing, the window guys showed up!  Banging and carrying on, almost the very moment I started.  Go figure! I could barely even hear the album.  I'm glad the noise didn't take that long.  But the part that makes it extra strange is that this almost same thing happened a few weeks ago, when the plumbers came to fix my bathroom.  Twice in a month, that can't be coincidence.  But you know what?  My tub drains now, the roof stopped leaking, and now I have new windows.  All in the name of progress.  I really do feel like life is starting over for me in a way.  New car, new job, new clothes, new bathroom, new windows, new blog site.  This has all been a real long time coming.  I'm assuming you've probably just started reading this, but this has been five years now for me.  Five years of my life, opening up, hoping to become a better writer.  And yet somehow it all still feels brand new.


Daughn